What is the best way I can support my friend without becoming completely drained myself?

[flippinada]

Just that really.

We have been friends for many, many years. To cut a very long story short she's extremely depressed and anxious and has been for years. She suffers from severe insomnia and as a result of all this her health has been severely affected and her immune system is compromised so that she is frequently ill - she gets just about every bug going. Not surprisingly (considering) she is more or less constantly unhappy and stressed.

Just to explain a bit about where I'm coming from, I've had mental health issues as well (severe PND which I thankfully recovered from completely and anxiety - currently also under control). I'm mentioning that to show that I have been there so not coming from a pull yourself together perspective and understand how debilitating and distressing it can be. My life has it's own difficulties (single working parent with difficult ex but hey could be a lot worse) mostly I get by and am a pretty contented sort of person.

I try to be supportive and listen without being judgemental but increasingly it's harder and harder and I find myself thinking unkind thoughts. Today I listened to a litany of woe, misery and stress which left me feeling drained, pissed off and exhausted. Doesn't that sound awful? I'm not proud of it but that's the truth :(.

It's like this every day bow and I feel worn out (then I imagine how she feels..I know). So..what can I do to support her and not get 'dragged down' (horrible phrase but can't think of a better one right now)?

Just realised how long this is and that's the short version..any advice /suggestions gratefully received.

One of the thing that's been uncomfortable for me to acknowledge, reading this thread, is that I might have played a role in facilitating/enabling all of this.

I think I'm going to ask my friend off we can have a proper chat about stuff.

It has crossed my mind that she might have bipolar disorder...would it be completely inappropriate to suggest that to her? Obviously I'm not medically qualified but I know a bit about it as someone in my family (not me) has been diagnosed.

Both my friends have mental health issues. I occasionally try to strongly suggest that my older friend is depressed and needs to address that. Never does though and I can't force it. My other friend knows she has problems and is constantly on meds and in some or other form of therapy. Boy, her therapists must be exasperated.

It does get to a point where you either have to speak your mind or drop them completely. Only you know if you can drop that suggestion into the conversation.

Yes, my friend's had been in therapy and on meds for years - I'd imagine her therapist must be exasperated but then I suppose that's what they're paid for.

However I'm not. I'm going to contact her and explain my position....just need to think of the best way to approach it.

Thanks again everyone.