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Original poster

insults during rows

33 replies

olliepop · 11/07/2006 17:17

Does anyone ever call their dh insulting names (eg b*stard) during big rows and do you ever get called anything (eg cow/bitch)?

OP posts:
alexsmum · 11/07/2006 17:19

i quite often scream at my dh that he is a ba*** or a git or a pig during rows.to his credit he never retaliates and i feel ashamed that i do it.

jalopy · 11/07/2006 17:20

Nope.

kama · 11/07/2006 17:21

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emsiewill · 11/07/2006 17:22

No, we don't tend to do this, although I have called dh a bad on the odd occasion. So when he called me a "cow" almost out of the blue (ie not in the middle of a screaming row), I was really shocked. Unfortunately for him, I had a knife in my hand, and started waving it at him saying "what did you call me? WHAT DID YOU CALL ME ?". He's never called me a cow since

VeniVidiVickiQV · 11/07/2006 17:22

Not during rows, no. Terms of endearment in this house.

Original poster
olliepop · 11/07/2006 17:34

we have done very occasionally, Seems to affect me more when he says things to me than when i say them to him tho. I get v upset, although occasionaly i've probably deserved it!

OP posts:
Northerner · 11/07/2006 17:35

Yes !!! During humdinger of rows we call each other all sorts of things. I've called him a b*tard, a Kbhead, a tt, a w*ker he's called me a cow and a bitch. I'm the worst though.

It's all in the haet of the moment though.

We're both very passionate people both in the bedrooms and whilst arguing!!

NotQuiteCockney · 11/07/2006 17:36

No, we don't do this. I've never done this sort of thing, and would never tolerate it from anyone.

Also, ahem, I don't think "being rude and thoughtless" is the same as "passionate".

beansontoast · 11/07/2006 17:38

I.Am.The.Worst

dp only joins in when i have destroyed his reslove not to.

...and then it goes very badly downhill.

Original poster
olliepop · 11/07/2006 17:40

Agree it's rude but not necessarlily thoughtless if done the heat of the moment. If said calmly and to dleiberatly casue offence that's a different thing altogether

OP posts:
Northerner · 11/07/2006 17:40

NQC don't you ever even think it?

Original poster
olliepop · 11/07/2006 17:40

Beansontoast - that sounds familiar! My dh only does when i push him to the limit!

OP posts:
LaDiDaDi · 11/07/2006 17:51

I sometimes do this to dp and always feel guilty and apologise afterwards. It can also make it harder to put your point across because during and after the arguement it can all end up being about who said what rather than why the said it/felt that way iyswim.

Original poster
olliepop · 11/07/2006 17:53

understand completely! end up arguing about the argument!!Does he call you things ever too?

OP posts:
Carmenere · 11/07/2006 17:55

Very occasionally (and only because it is true at the time) but it totally undermines the value of your point if you start using terms of abuse so I try to avoid it. I have also learnt to argue quitely as it has much more gravitas than shouting and then when dp say's 'you are shouting' I can assure him that I am not but he usually is

Original poster
olliepop · 11/07/2006 18:19

good thinking about the "not shouting" I will have to try that

OP posts:
spidermama · 11/07/2006 18:22

My dh uses insults and I'm always very shocked and hurt. I don't use them. (Not to his face anyway ).
I think it sounds violent and hate fuelled and I find it really over the top and unecessary. My dh shouts at the kids too which pisses me off. He needs to calm down. He's quite highly strung. It's his mum's legacy. She's like a wild animal. Next to her he's a chilled out tantric hippy type.

Gobbledigook · 11/07/2006 18:23

Yes - while having a full on row. 10 minutes later we are back to normal! We know neither of us means it and we are usually rowing because we are tired - we both recognise that and so don't take it too seriously.

NotQuiteCockney · 11/07/2006 18:35

No, I really don't think that sort of thing, generally. Well, I will think rude words about DH when I find out something's been forgotten or whatever, but it's generally when he's not even there.

I think years of censoring myself around kids have filtered down into my brain ... but even pre-kids, I didn't ever swear at anyone. (e.g. "what the fsck" is okish, "you fscker" is not.) And now, I don't even swear in anyone's direction, never mind at them.

LaDiDaDi · 11/07/2006 19:47

Dp has only once insulted me during an arguement and it was horrid . He does however call me donkey if I have done something silly or careless but this is always very lighthearted.

FioFio · 11/07/2006 19:50

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fairyfly · 11/07/2006 20:06

No i don't insult him, im more factual, he is a cock and my make up is sod all like Aunt Sallys.

crazychilledmummy · 11/07/2006 21:49

Fairyfly - PMSL at that !

expatinscotland · 11/07/2006 21:51

no, can't deal w/that.

when i was in one of those rows where you know you're going to split up, tho, then i just let loose.

i called the last bf i had before dh for what he was: a mother fucking bitch ass c*nt.

Beetle73 · 11/07/2006 21:58

Yes. Because normally when we're rowing I really do loathe him. And he really does think I'm a fat stupid bitch.
I would prefer not to have such rows. I do not use these terms to anyone else.