I've always got on well with MIL and she had a difficult time since 2011 due my DHs older brother quite literally disappearing without a trace and still not returning 2 years later, I have always tried to be a constant support to her and have always made time for her to come to our house for lunches and gardening sessions etc. She was as thrilled as we were when we announced the pregnancy, first grandchild for all our family, so it's a big deal! I understand this but I'm not quite sure if there has been some scientific study to prove whether us DILs character mutates when pregnant and all of a sudden our MILS become "the enemy" or if it's the MILS that mutate into over bearing fusspot that overstep the mark constantly by overriding your views and opinions, desires and crossing that intimate imaginary line you have created with your partner as a family.
We recently moved into our new house (within the last 8 weeks) which is a 5 min drive from hers and boy oh boy how things have changed!!! I thought this would be fantastic as she would be able to drop in and school nearby eventually she will pick her up. I never expected her to come here and move things around at her preference, tell me how to do everything and override everything I say...she also has turned up with no warning and after finding the front door locked with key let herself in through the back and walked up the stairs of her own accord whilst we were napping! (Me in my underwear!) 38 weeks pregnant when she did this gave me the fright of my life!!! this is all before the baby is here so I'm dreading what she will be like after... My face did say it all I guess but I didn't receive the support I expected off my DH... He thinks I'm being mean to her and it's her right to drop in whenever..I'm firmly convinced it's the other way around! I mentioned I was going to buy wooden letters I had seen for my babies door; 2 days later she turns up with a (ugly) boys set which I've had to put up on the door to please her in lieu of the beautiful girls set I wanted to get...when I was deciding how to decorate the room she told SIL she was to come round and paint a drawing on the babies wall, in particular she wanted clouds and a moon, yes lovely except I had already painted the wall blue and chosen my own design, after all, it's my babies room no? SIL was bitterly disappointed but then again she's 4 years older than me, perhaps she needs to have her own baby to decorate and educate? We also went to choose baby clothes and she pretty much pushed me out of the way to choose the items she liked (I kept quiet again) MIL phones constantly to find out how I am, SIL does not stop texting DH, I have been clear regards hospital visits, I want us to go alone to hospital and let them know when baby is here and when we are ready, I don't want people waiting on ward, outside delivery or in the room, but
MIL and SIL are insisting they want to be there?! And that they will come and wait until we're back in room as they can't be expected to wait impatiently with no news at home! I've explained I want to establish BF and us time with hubby and baby on our own and after some reset will love them to pop in and meet her...this was met with a disappointed reaction from MIL as she wanted to be the first in the room and SIL said she didn't care she'd find out when we were in room and she was coming??? I feel tortured by this as my DH also thinks I'm being weird for saying I don't want visits straight awayI feel totally bowled over by all of it and even worse I'm booked in to be induced on Sunday 8am if she doesn't decide to come out tomorrow... So everyone will know when we are going into hospital and they will all be swarming like bees to be the first to hold baby... After everything I feel really awful and stressed about the whole fucking thing. Sorry for swearing any advice?