Relationship is in the process of ending because of my low sex drive!!

[Mummabear12]

Hello all,
Been with my partner 3 year is December and have a 1.10 year old together and I'm 16 weeks pregnant with our second. We have had a very rocky relationship,
He has been very twaty in the past however we have gotten over it and tried to carry on. Although this baby was planned and were actively trying, since being pg I have totally lost my sex drive! Dp has a very high sex drive and has now said he can't carry on like this... Basically leaving me! We have tried the going to a hotel for the weekend and it was all lovely until the sex and it was awful its like I hate him when it's happening and afterwards I went in the bathroom and cried! I can have all the intentions of having sex but when it comes to It I feel awkward, stupid and definitely not in the mood! :( sorry for long post! X

[neiljames77]

Progress????

[itwillgetbettersoon]

Oh OP that is an awful message from someone who is meant to love you. His behaviour is appalling - no wonder you don't want to be physically close to him.

If you want him to leave (I'm sure you would be a lot happier) then there are lots if people on here that can advise. Perhaps just ask some questions and you might be surprised how easy it would be to not have him in yr life apart from his involvement with the children.

You are so strong raising this

[MadBusLady]

Ugh. Well, he's going, let the twat go. "I don't want to cheat on you" except for all the times he actually did, presumably.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

That's what I call an inverse threat. 'I don't want to cheat on you'... and it leaves a great big 'but you're making me' hanging in the air. He's done nothing but cheat on you and the message is clear.

[Mabelface]

Couldn't you just hear the "but" after the I don't want to cheat on you bit? He's said loudly and clearly that if you don't put out, he's going to go elsewhere. How endearing of him.

[Matildathecat]

He was, is and will always cheat on you. Sorry. Please leave this destructive creep. Just reading about him is making my flesh crawl.

You can find peace and happiness but never with him. I beg you to never give in to sex with him again (unless you want to).

Look to your friends and family for support. Your MW and HV can also be helpful. Women's Aid, of course.

I can't believe you can contemplate sleeping under the same roof as him.

Be strong and go. Or chuck him out.

Good luck.

[TheDoctrineOfWho]

"We just ain't clicking right now"

?!!?

This man has created two children with you. That's a lifetime responsibility, not a "right now" responsibility.

He is telling you who he is. Listen.

[BalloonSlayer]

Well using the great MN phrase - he is telling you who he is, you MUST listen to him.

< twiddles knobs on Twat Translator (patent pending) >

"fair enough when your heavily pregnant I can go without because I will be supporting you then and ill know sex would be hard or difficult like it got last time but not now." If I can't have sex in the positions I like best I might as well not bother and I will condescend to wank in these, exceptional, circumstances.


"i can't commit myself into this relationship if this is how it's going to be." Lovely example of the classic skilful double of Missing the Point combined with Blatant Threat. The Missing the Point is this - if one has tried for a baby with someone then you have already committed oneself to them, and cannot then four months later pretend to still be pondering whether to commit or not. The threat is "I will end this relationship if you do not change."

It's always nice to see the old classics remastered, and three cheers for him for reminding us of those three golden oldies:

"thats not me being horrible or stubborn" no, of course not darling, you're being the BEST partner in the world, totally unselfish and totally understanding of my point of view. You're just SO cute!

"in the end it wouldn't be fair on either of us " I'm doing this for you too. See how much I think of your feelings!

"it would only have a negative effect on you and why your pregnant its not what u need" Seriously, has there ever BEEN a more considerate father-to-be than me? Is there an award you can enter me for? Is there a category in Pride of Britain? Can you find out?

Then we have

"i love you alot right now" Just right now, while I'm writing this text. I didn't love you very much when I was shagging all the other women, and I don't love you very much when you don't want to have sex with me, and I won't love you at all when I leave you but yeah right now, I love you alot, yeh

"would do anything to make it perfect" apart from be faithful, or try to understand that pregnant women's hormones sometimes make them go off sex, or stop stressing my pregnant partner by threatening to dump her.

AND FINALLY, THE MOST GLORIOUS NON-SEQUITER I THINK I HAVE EVER READ ON MN

"i don't want to cheat on you not that it's entered my head" How come you managed to type the words "I don't want to cheat on you" without the concept entering your head? Did your hands do it by themselves without aid of your brain? (I suppose it is highly possible) Or did you sit randomly at the typewriter like an infinite number of monkeys and eventually those words appeared?

God what an utter prick. Please get rid, OP. What if you limp through the rest of this pregnancy and have sex when you don't want it, then in the future get ill or something? You'd just be back to square one with this arsehole.

[TheDoctrineOfWho]

Great post, Balloon.

[MistAllChuckingFrighty]

Tell the cheating sexually abusive bastard to fuck right off.

How dare he threaten you like this.

You can manage without this piece of shit. Get down the benefits office and get yourself some assistance, that is what they are for. No woman should have to tolerate a half life like this.

[Twinklestein]

If this relationship ends it won't be because of your sex drive OP, it will entirely because your P is an awful, awful man. Don't blame yourself.

[BerstieSpotts]

Oh Mumma, he sounds awful :( Please please know that he is an utter shit and you deserve better, in fact, he does not deserve to be the shit wiped off your shoes.

Being on your own is far better than worrying about his shit and his stress.

[Lweji]

What everyone else has said.

You should reply saying that you agree with him and the best is for him to go and be free to shag whoever he wants. Close the door on your way out, will you?

[DifferenceEngine]

Balloon. Get a move on with that Twat Translator and get it into production.

Every home, school, public building and workplace needs one.


Op listen to Aunty Balloon. She is wise.

[DifferenceEngine]

Ps Op your thread title is wrong.

It should read ' ...in the process of ending because my dp is a selfish, entitled git'

Please do Not blame yourself for such twattish behaviour.

[Hassled]

Balloon - you need to work on a Twat Translator app. I'd download it.

[MistAllChuckingFrighty]

You could make a fucking fortune !

Patent it, right now !

[CatAmongThePigeons]

You're worth a damn sight more than this man. Listen to the wise people who have already posted. It may be hard on your own, but you and your DC will have a happier life, you deserve happiness that this relationship would never bring.

TwatTranslation app would be a best seller!

[mrsspagbol]

balloon that is one of the best posts i have ever aeen on MN

OP - you can do better

[HogFucker]

Ditto Balloon