If you think you had a fairly normal childhood...

[lljkk]

(Sorry for weird & sensitive question)

Can you remember turning to your parents for comfort? Seeking hugs or similar?

Not physical comfort (possibly because it was never forthcoming, possibly because I wasn't /am not the type, who knows), but certainly emotional and intellectual comfort. It was always forthcoming, come hell or high water. I feel as though my parents devoted themselves to their children, above all else. Fantastic grounding in life that I hope to replicate for mine.

Ditto InTheFace. Happy family, just not massive on the hugging and kissing.

Yes, Always. I'm 25 and I now live a few hundred miles away from my parents. However they are still my go-to people. I still ask their opinion on things, and see them regularly enough for the hugs!

Yrs, absolutely. Lots nd lots of cuddles, hugs, handholding etc. Always given too. Hope you're ok.

I'm alright thanks, can't explain this very well, but might help many pieces fall into place. Can't decide if my memory is faulty, so wondered what other people remember.

As a child, yes. As an adolescent, not so much. I always knew mum and dad were there for me, even though they were divorced and not really speaking. There was a period involving a step parent that made thing very, very difficult.

I always knew I could rely on my parents.

Actually, that's ^^ not quite true. Mum wouldn't have been my fall back person there for a while. I think she realised that in later years and came to regret it, very much. We never discussed it. I completely forgive her.

Yes, always. Less so of my dad as a teenager but even now at 36 they are my everything. I'd say they're my best friends. I consider myself very fortunate, even though other areas of my life have been a struggle at times I feel I win the lottery with the family I was born into. Cheesy but true. I hope I can give my children the same love and supportI have experienced from my parents.

I have been given unlimited amount of unspoken support from my family and i feel very fortunate, I know I could go to them but they have brought me up not to have to depend on them - they are not my best friends - they are my parents. I do not remember what emotional support they gave when I was a child - but we do not hug and kiss now.

When i was younger i had no support or ckmfort from my parents. I had to be the parent.
Cuddles didnt exist, nor did kissss.

I do go to them in my older years to rant. But it doesnt help. They will do things for me. But it is still all about them.

That's sad wont :( did you miss the cuddles and kisses at the time?

Thepie...
When I say they're my best friends I don't mean I go to the pub with them or ring up to choose what to wear to the Xmas party...what I mean is, quite often people I've considered to be close friends have let me down, surprised me when I thought I could count on them. Most recently this happened when I was left with my 2 young dd's. friends I had supported and 'been there for' through various dramas had not been there for me inky hour of need. My parents are always there for me, always kind, always honest. In this way they are my best friends. I know they will never let me down and are trustworthy.

I'm in my 50's (urghhh), and although I always knew my parents loved me unconditionally, and they would do anything to help me, they weren't as free with the loves and cuddles as I have always been with my DC. I think that was the way of life then though. I always kissed them good night, and we did exchange hugs, but not every 3 seconds like I do with DC!

Yes, until I read otherwise on MN I assumed everyone had parents who would cuddle them and be kind, which makes me fervently appreciate how lucky I am. My dad is the one I have always gone to with problems, as mum (despite wanting to help) is more likely to explain how she has it worse/blame me/suggest a completely unfeasible solution. She is much better for general "talking about life" stuff. But both have always been ready to hug me, talk over difficulties, and try to help when things are hard. My dad would always be calm and take the time to listen to why I was crying/patiently talk it through then try to help. His mum was a counsellor and I think he inherited it

What are you trying to discover?

And yes, unlimited cuddles and lots of casual physical closeness like clambering into bed in the morning for a chat - much more welcome if bringing tea obvs - slomping on the sofa together, doing silly dances in the kitchen etc. They had childhoods of varying difficulty so were determined to bring us up in a really warm and loving atmosphere. God, I do love them.

Mamma - not really. There were times when i needed it though and never got it.
I just make sure my kids get plenty, so i do too now :-)

Yes I did as a child we had plenty of hugs and kisses, always kissed them goodnight and on cold/rainy nights my mother used to tuck us in and sit on our beds and tell us to think of all those ppl out there in the cold while we were warm and cosy in our beds - I found that so comforting. Even as an adult, I have turned to them for comfort, not so much physical hugs (we are not really a huggy type of family to adults). I remember when I was ill at the age of about 19, living alone in a flat on he other side of town from my dps. My dps drove (20 mile round trip) to pick me up and take me back to their house because they didn't want me to be ill and alone!

I am 35 and last time I went shopping with my mum she held my hand in the street. I know some people would think that was weird but I dont care. She isn't a really touchy feely person but I always get a hug if there is the slightest suspicion I might need one. When we watch tv we have always snuggled up, throughout my teens when I hated the world, I still loved my mum and being close to her.

I dont know how she did it, but I hope I can be even half the mum she has been to me.

To be honest, it was more that they anticipated when I would appreciate/need comfort, or they came to me. I could always go to them but usually they were coming to me before I turned to them. They were in control, in the best way possible. I knew that they knew what I was going through, they understood. Yeah, they were strict parents, but they were parents in every sense of the word....protective in every sense of the word.

Sadly I remember turning to my mum for comfort and generally being rebuffed - which invariably made things worse.

My Dad died when I was a teen but I loved cuddling up to him even when I was far too big for it!

No.
And no.

A lot of emotional comfort. Not so many memories of hugs. My sister always says our childhood was odd but not as odd as loads of other people (her partner and my DH as a for instance) and so that's ok!

I had a fairly normal childhood, and yes I turned to my parents for comfort of all kinds. Emotional, physical, and also practical help with problems.

I still do and I'm 36.

quirrel yes mine too.

As a child yes, not as a teenager. Some distance developed then for particular reasons, also much teenage arrogance and stubbornness.

We're not a very tactile family though. We hug and kiss as a greeting but are not very touchy-feely people, temperamentally. More cerebral and verbal than overtly emotional. That makes a big difference between families.

Emotional support - yes - lots of that. My parents (particularly my mother), were always at the end of the phone or available for a chat. But not hugs. My mother doesn't really 'do' hugs. My dad does, but my parents divorced when I was six, so I didn't get a lot of physical comfort. Luckily, I had a cat who tolerated those!