If you think you had a fairly normal childhood...

[lljkk]

(Sorry for weird & sensitive question)

Can you remember turning to your parents for comfort? Seeking hugs or similar?

No. I would turn to them but never get sympathy or hugs. Just told everything was my fault. They're such a delight.

Yes always with mum especially right up till she died. I still miss her so much.My dd (aged 39) and I still hug a lot and can talk for hours about most things. I get the odd hug from her dh too :)

I'm mid-fifties and both parents died about 20 years ago so my memories are a bit hazy. I think they provided security above all, which I think must have been hard as Dad was self-employed with a variable income. Don't recall a lot of physical stuff. I think I was quite horrible and entitled as a teenager, I didn't choose the path they would have chosen for me but while I don't recall unconditional support they didn't make a big deal of it.

I've tried to be more explicitly supportive to DCs because I think that's what I would have wanted. Am also more physical with both of them.

yes, as a child but i agree that as a teenager i was less huggy, just as my kids are less huggy now. They were mainly quick hugs and kissing of things better though, not long smothery things.

I had my first baby in Sierra Leone in 1970. My mum flew out from the UK to be with me, it was a huge thing for her to do. My dad was an invalid (MS) but both my parents and my grandparents were affectionate and supportive on every level. I try to be like them but they are a hard act to follow.

My family were ok nothing out of the ordinary but still slightly dysfunctional.

We are quite touchy feely however if stressed/upset then we tend to distance ourselves, myself especially. I hate physical contact when upset.

My parents were very huggy, especially my mother. She openly said it was because her parents weren't particularly - with her generation children were just expected to know their parents loved them without necessarily being given any physical or verbal signs - although my grandmother was by all accounts very solicitous of my mother and her other three children. My father was also fairly huggy for a man in the 1950s - he lost his father young and his mother was definitely not touchy-feely, although in other ways would go through hellfire for her children, and had it hard being a widow in the 20s and 30s. My brothers and I stopped being huggy with them in our teens, as is normal, and just as my kids have with me, despite having a very cuddly childhood (at least from me, husband a bit less so). My parents, particulary my mother, tried to bring us up to cope well as adults - she despised mothers who fought to keep their children dependent on them, "tying them to their apron strings" as she called it. But if we needed too, we could always depend on help from them.

No I don't remember hugs, or kisses much really.

I'm not close to dad now and can go 6 months without a phone call or any contact. He wasn't at my recent graduation and doesn't even know I've graduated. It was in a subject he works in too, but he never took an interest and I'll be damned if I'm gonna give give give all the time for no return. I've not fallen out with him tho. It's very odd.

I'm close to my mum but she can be a little selfish and lump her issues on me for support, yet I feel like she not got time to listen to me in return.

Parents split when I was 12, always thought I had a very happy childhood, but since seeing friends with their children I realise that it was a functioning family but not a loving family.

I've turned out fairly normal, but vow to be different with any children I have. I struggle to be sympathetic sometimes, but I'm improving a lot.. I can just be too practical sometimes and forget the emotions.

I remember hugs and kisses from Mum especially. Even when I was 13 year old and the same size as her, she cuddled me on her lap when I was upset. Dad was less casually cuddly, but we still got the occasional kiss or hug. I did however use him as a pillow when lying on the sofa watching tv.

Yes, I got a lot of physical affection from my parents and to this day they are incredibly supportive of me and my siblings.

Ohhh this threads made me cry...

I have no memory of hugs or kisses or comfort from either of my parents as a child. I was very young when I had my first dc. My mother especially, never forgave me. She made it all about her. I spent my 20s 'repaying' her by basically bring her skivy & minion.

I rang her today out of guilt. She isn't old but due to years of smoking, alcohol abuse, hideous diet & no exercise she's had 2 strokes already. She still drinks & smokes so she will have another stroke. I hate calling her. I call because I know she won't be here for much longer. I've seen her 1 this year-she lives half an hour away.

My dad has aspergers so at least I understand his behaviour.

I adore my dc. I will do anything to help them. I miss them when I don't see them- even though the older 2 are in their 20's. They know I will do whatever I can for them. I don't always agree or like their choices but I support them. I really want my dc to visit or call me because they want to not because they think they should.

No, it was shit

DV household, violent alcoholic father (he was a teacher!!) , emotionally damaged mother, damaged siblings, s abuse, no money, crap house. Def no hugs or reassurance.

Like I said, proper shit

Definitely from my mum, but not from dad. However, every saturday morning would be spent in his bed (while he slept off a hangover...) chatting about school and stuff. Not really physically close, but an emotional attachment.

With mum it was closer and more physical. Even when I was an adult, I would turn to her for a cuddle when I was ill.

Sorry, didn't mean to stir up horrid memories for anyone. :(

My childhood wasn't all roses but my dad is a wonderful man and lots of kisses and cuddles when we needed it.

And I still play fight with him and I'm 29!! I like nothing more than walking into a room and jumping on him and trying to get him in a headlock until he begs for mercy ... I realise I am weird

I consider my childhood pretty normal and happy.

I could always turn to Dad for a hug and remember big hugs in the kitchen when he got home from work, right into my teens.

Mum is NOT a hugger - she always used to tickle me after about one second. I used to find it really annoying, but realise now that she is just not a very physical person. I did used to snuggle up to her on the sofa when we were watching TV together, which was nice.

Lots and lots of kisses and cuddles silly dancing play fighting I always thought everyone was the same.

Yes, I did and still would.

With mum always - even now when I'm nearly a foot taller then her. I have to stoop for a cuddle and I take the piss by patting and kissing the top of her head.

With dad - not so much, he isn't a big hugger. Me and my three sisters all love to foist hugs and kisses on him while he ducks and shouts "er gerrof". He's a big softie now and secretly likes it but I remember he used to be a lot more prickly and absent. He worked really hard.

Lots of "I love you"s, "your beautiful", hugs and kisses from DM. My DF was more reserved, but over the years has mellowed and both myself and DSis (39, 41) are huggers with DM, DF, to each other and our families. Both parents have always been there for us emotionally. It makes me so that so many of you didn't have that.

Am very lucky, both parents incredibly supportive but in different ways. Lots of physical affection whilst growing up, and still tactile now. They adore cuddles with their grandchildren and are very involved. I speak to them most days and their support is invaluable. I am very lucky because my PILS are also really lovely and supportive and so have it from both sides. I hope to be half the parents mine were.

I don't remember cuddles or kisses from either parent.
My grandad was the only one who hugged & kissed us.
When I was in my 20's my partner at the time asked my mum why she didn't hug me (after a drinking session!)
She said it was because when I was 3 years old I told her I didn't like cuddles anymore. And so age stopped.
That night me & my mum cried together & hugged & kissed for the 1st time in 25years! I can still remember my surprise at how soft her skin was.