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Original poster

Looks like I'm going to be on my own for Christmas - anyone else?

84 replies

Sidge · 09/11/2013 19:41

So my children are going to be with their dad this Christmas (we're divorced). Last month I split with the guy I'd been seeing - we had planned to spend Christmas together. No family to share it with and whilst a couple of friends have said to go to theirs I don't want to feel like I'm intruding on their family day.

In some ways I don't mind too much being alone - I can sleep late, eat junk and watch loads of crap TV! But I do feel lonely and the idea of being alone on Christmas Day and Boxing Day just seems a bit sad.

Please tell me I'm not the only one!

OP posts:
veryconfusedatthemoment · 10/11/2013 00:58

Me too. So 2 years a go I went to boston to see friends and then Miami. This year Miami again. Xmas day in the sunshine. Can't wait :) :)

Ds- moods, tantrums. Will I miss him, yes a bit. But it will do us both good to have time apart for a few days!

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 10/11/2013 01:03

sidge - more mulled Wine & Cake for you... find your silver lining x

plentyofsoap · 10/11/2013 02:44

I have spent a couple on my own pre children. I watched an entire series of Americas next top model in bed with food and wine. Bliss.

neunundneunzigluftballons · 10/11/2013 03:14

If friends invited you and you would like to go, go. We invite friends to spend Christmas not to get in the way but because we enjoy their company. I would be crushed if someone I invited did not come because they felt they would be getting in the way. Christmas is all about being with lovely people you enjoy spending time with.

Allalonenow · 10/11/2013 03:51

I'll be on my own again this year. I plan ahead, so get lots of treats ready, things like cake or fruit in wine jelly for breakfast, smoked salmon for lunch and a nice steak for dinner, all easy to do but still a bit special.
I buy a book and a DVD to open on Christmas day, and have chocs and wine in good supply.
I'll probably speak to grown up DS via FaceTime, which was lovely to do last year.
I've done the family Christmas for many years, and always loved it, so this is a different sort of day now. But it's only one day.

LividofLondon · 10/11/2013 10:24

I spend Christmas alone, and although it's often seen as a really sad thing to happen, I love it! Grin I try and make it a little bit special, so walk dog early (so he's sorted for the day) then have a breakfast treat (usually some fancy smoked salmon mousse on crackers) followed by the grand opening of the Cava (usually at around 11am). The day is then spent getting steadily get drunk in front of the TV whilst eating buffet food. Love it!

Xenadog · 10/11/2013 12:15

Sorry haven't read all the posts but yes do volunteer at a homeless shelter or an OAP's get together as it will be so rewarding. I have done this for the last 2 years despite having people to be with I just found it so enjoyable. I worked Christmas and Boxing Day the first year and last year only managed Christmas Eve as so I then got the flu. This year I am due to give birth the week before Christmas and am really annoyed I won't be able to help!

This is the real meaning of Christmas to me and made me count my blessings as well as giving me some wonderful and humbling experiences.

Granville72 · 10/11/2013 13:00

I did it two years running when I split with my ExH. It was fine, rode my horse and volunteered to do everyone elses horses down the yard in the afternoon so those with family could be at home.

It is tough, you just need to occupy yourself and time and don't wallow in self pity.

Bertrude · 10/11/2013 15:07

I might be. Husband is wantin to go back to the uk because of family troubles with his clan, but I can only have 1 day leave on 25th itself so I can't go.

All our friends are going back to the UK or on holiday elsewhere.

I may as well fucking work.

CiderwithBuda · 10/11/2013 15:21

Organise an MN meet up! Or several. Maybe through MN Local.

whatdoesittake48 · 10/11/2013 16:20

I have worked on Xmas day twice before and it was lovely - everyone is in a great mood and loads of gifts were given by customers. So if you can volunteer or work on that day, you might enjoy it.

It is all about being positive about the day. treat it as the day you give youself a present.

I nearly had a day to myself on Xmas once and my flatmate insisted I go to his parents house. I was bored and full and tired of being polite to strangers all day. I would have preferred to be at home alone!

dorothyparka · 10/11/2013 17:19

I love Christmas but just got fed up with my family always ruining it with their moaning/pouting/drinking so I spent Christmas 2011 on my own. Went for a lovely run, painted the living room, made myself a lovely dinner and watched cheesy tv—no walking on eggshells, no refereeing arguments, it was brilliant!

EBearhug · 10/11/2013 17:49

Yes - I have actually been not doing housework today, and thinking about all the bigger jobs there are, and how Christmas will give me some time to tackle some of them.

If I don't choose just to watch crap TV, that is... But I could do that while labelling up my holiday photos, which I still haven't done yet.

Original poster
Sidge · 14/11/2013 13:26

Well a big change of plan for me - exH ship has been redirected to the Philippines so he won't be home for Christmas, so I'll have my girls after all!

Mixed feelings - I'd sort of got my head around doing something different this year, and was planning a mix of voluntary work and slobbing out. I was also looking forward to a break as he'd have been away for 4.5 months by the time he got back and now won't be home for another month. The girls will be upset too.

But I've had the decision made for me now!

OP posts:
Granville72 · 14/11/2013 13:37

Well I know which I'd prefer. Christmas with my son any day over being on my own.

The girls can always have a double Christmas when Daddy gets back, and so can you

Original poster
Sidge · 14/11/2013 13:48

Absolutely! And will be lovely having them for Christmas.

OP posts:
Granville72 · 14/11/2013 13:55

Just plan something special for when they do see their daddy or do what you were going to do if they had been away Christmas Day.

I'm really looking forward to Christmas this year as my little one will be hopefully a little more aware of what is going on, though I don't hold much hope for a Christmas tree seeing it through

JessicaBeatriceFletcher · 14/11/2013 13:57

This will be my fourth Xmas that I spend mostly alone. I will see my parents Xmas morning and stay for lunch but then they just sit in front of the TV for the whole time and barely speak. Even sitting at home on my own is preferable to that. I have no other family. Most of my friends have families and kids or go away for Xmas, so I shall see none of them for almost all of Xmas and New Year. I shall work as much as possible. I hate it, but there you go.

ThePearShapedToad · 08/12/2013 19:03

Can I join? Xmas Sad

My parents are abroad for Christmas and my friends all live hours away. Bless them some of them have invited me to their parents for Christmas but I don't really think it's a real invite and I wouldn't want to impose myself on their families

Just bought my tree, decorated it, done the decorations in the flat- then my mother rang and said "Oooh sounds lovely, so have you got lots of lovely presents under it?"
And I've just realised- I won't have a single one. 'Rents go abroad in 2 days and won't see them till jan, and since I don't have anyone to talk to in my current town, my tree is .......

Oh god it's awful Xmas Sad

I'm not sure how I even got to the state of being alone. I could technically go the next month without speaking to a single soul. That terrifies me

-trying hard to sound not too self pitying, sorry

HogiBear27 · 08/12/2013 20:05

Pear Shaped Toad - I hope this isn't pastronising (It's really not mean that way) but do you have time for volunteering? It could help you meet people?

DeckSwabber · 08/12/2013 20:13

Totally agree about volunteering. But if you can, sign up for more than just Christmas Day. You might be surprised how many people volunteer on that one day, but charities like Crisis can struggle to find enough volunteers later in the week.

ThePearShapedToad · 08/12/2013 20:13

I have looked into it (no patronising taken). But I'm not in a major city and the few small places that are around said they don't need "walk ins" they need a permanent commitment on a regular basis, which I can't do because of my job

It's ok. Just had a minor wobble. Brave face back on again thanks to gin

DeckSwabber · 08/12/2013 20:19

Pear, I have been to friends at Christmas and it has been fun. If you have an invitation, I think most people would be privileged to have you choose to spend the day with them.

ThePearShapedToad · 08/12/2013 20:26

Thanks everyone Xmas Smile didn't mean to hijack the thread though so much from the op

But sending good Christmas wishes back to everyone

ormirian · 08/12/2013 20:42

Sounds blissful!!