Looks like I'm going to be on my own for Christmas - anyone else?

[Sidge]

So my children are going to be with their dad this Christmas (we're divorced). Last month I split with the guy I'd been seeing - we had planned to spend Christmas together. No family to share it with and whilst a couple of friends have said to go to theirs I don't want to feel like I'm intruding on their family day.

In some ways I don't mind too much being alone - I can sleep late, eat junk and watch loads of crap TV! But I do feel lonely and the idea of being alone on Christmas Day and Boxing Day just seems a bit sad.

Please tell me I'm not the only one!

I will be with toddler DD, which sort of to me is worse than if I were on my own. She'll be bored :-(

Haha!!! You know what whatnext...I'd bloody love that! God...can you imagine all the exes ears burning as we slagged them off?? Haha..a load of mumsnetters in a room together and copious amounts of champers...think it would get messy! I'd be talking the way I do in my typos
"'Ere whatnext pass that box of chicks please..."

Drink will be with a two toddlers...planning on a walk with the double buggy...could be a long one!!!

Got visitors in early evening so should be ok.

I can't do links but if you google "retreats for Christmas" there are loads of wonderful looking opportunities - admittedly most of the ones I found are along the yoga-pilates-meditation lines but I'm sure there are others out there too - would something like that be possible/appealing?

I did this one year, and it was great. As long as one gets past any idea that "nobody wants me - waaahhh" (and it sounds like you are), it's the day to self-indulge.

Or do the charity thing, another great idea. Before we had DC, DP and I had planned to volunteer at a cat shelter or similar.

You have plenty of time between now and then to think of something that will be perfect for you.

My day, btw had been that I started with bubble bath, champagne and raspberries and cream. The world's smallest turkey that I cooked exactly as I wanted. Watched whatever I wanted, snoozed when I wanted. Made a few phone calls. It were loverly.

Do you have a hospice near you sidge? The times I have been in my local one, I have felt an amazing sense of peace and happiness, they aren't really sad places. They would be crying out for volunteers, especially on C/Day.

Thanks everyone, some good suggestions. I'll start checking out some volunteering opportunities.

I do need to get over the "feeling sorry for myself" and move towards the "oh it'll be heavenly!"

I won't have people around me, but MN is always there to entertain me.

It might not sound it now but you may well be better off than those who have to put up with shitty drunken partners/toxic in laws etc etc. You can watch tv/films that YOU want, drink what you want, not have anyone moan "not bloody sprouts, I hate them", you can even ditch them and eat what you damn well please!

I had a fun time last year - working! I got in late and listened to the radio (no TV). I went to mum's a few days after (she had joined my brother's family for Christmas, so in a way she had 2 Christmases). I could listen to music without my aunt walking around with her hands on her ears - (she does it when people talk too). The Christmas before she could not bear being in the sitting room where my SIL and her son where watching TV or the breakfast room where the rest of us were playing a game,so she sat on a hard chair in the kitchen!

A friend if mine does sometimes go to the town hall to dole out christmas lunch to the homeless/those on their own. She did enjoy it.

Instead of a turkey would a chicken breast 'crown' be an idea, with all the trimmings? Plenty of bacon over it while it roasts so it does not dry out. Then have a favourite pud, small cheeseboard and enjoy yourself.

Another one here who will be on her own... Dcs away for a week and not back until Boxing Day. I think I'm going round to a friends house so won't have all day on my own.

OP, why don't you go to a friend's house? Having someone outside the family there often makes things a lot easier, so you'd be doing them a favour. If they have made the offer and you're good friends, why wouldn't you spend the day or part of it at least with them?

Imperial I might do, I just didn't want to impose on their day. I think I was worried they might have invited me out of pity

Me too! It is my first year in the UK and I can't go anywhere and to be honest I don't really want to.

But volunteering seems like a good idea - where can I find out about it? Quite happy to do washing up/cooking/cleaning.

God, no, they'll be hoping you can come and get pissed with them in the kitchen and roll eyes when their MIL says the gravy's burned.

LOL now getting pissed I can do!

I've only done one xmas day on my own. I was an anti-social 15yo, mum went to her boyfriends house and my sister was with our dad. I slobbed out at home, ate all the after eights. It was ace.

Last year I insisted it was just me and the dc's and we had a lovely xmassy xmas on our own.

Even though I won't be totally on my own this xmas, I'll still be dipping in and out of here all day .

Mm, you do get "pity" invites though - they are inevitably kindly meant but still, it's so excruciatingly embarrassing. I once did go to a friend's for Christmas (ex friend now!) never again, but that's a whole different story.

If it's just the day it should be OK. The whole festive period alone can be a downer though.

You do get pity invitations - but actually, when I've invited people, it's been genuine. It's really nice to have more people, makes it more Xmassy to me! So don't assume you be an imposition at all! Just limit the time, if it makes you feel more comfortable!
I'm bound to spend some time alone, first Xmas post divorce, nothing's been decided yet. I shall probably sleep. I never seem to get enough sleep!

Another one thinking of the homeless shelter option... Although would it all be too traumatic being my first year alone? The other option is 6 hour drive on Christmas Eve, 6 hour drive on Boxing Day, all to have my family around me on Xmas Day. shelter looking more attractive...

I will be. It's a few years since I last was, and actually, I'm looking forward to it. Catch up with reading and sleep and have only food I like. And it's better than feeling a bit of a spare part with friends and family who have invited me - which is lovely, but I do sometime feel a bit of a spare part when they're all coupled up, and it can be a bit more overwhelming at Christmas than at other times of the year.

I may not be looking forward to it by the time we get there and the days get even shorter, and everyone goes on about what they're doing and all the presents they get and so on, and I won't have any. But I'm feeling okay about it now. Last time I had Christmas alone, I did make the effort, and laid the table with a tablecloth and everything.

I have spent Christmas with non verbal, blind DS for fifteen years. Do feel alone as he goes to bed and it isn't fun as Christmas is supposed to be with children. I read all the threads about difficult in-laws, domestics and especially how people have had to tolerate toxic family using them as the scapegoat and I snap out of my loneliness and breathe a sigh of relief.

My brother and SIL have just split up after 30 years together and are planning to spend Xmas Day together with their 2 grown up DS's. Each one of them have told me separately that they are absolutely dreading the day. The DS's will disappear as soon as possible to hook up with their friends and God knows what DB & DSIL will chat about when they are gone given that they hate one another. Honestly Sidge you should count yourself lucky.

I will be here with 2 teenage DC. We will wake up, open a few pressies, start eating and as the day goes on they will go on Facebook and head off to their rooms. Just because there are people in the house does not make it a lovely day. Enjoy yourself safe in the knowledge that you won't get embroiled in a domestic.

Good thread and good timing too. Have had a few [wine} sp will re-visit tomorrow but am having drunk ideas about a Christmas Day thread for folk like us!

Feck that should have been but you know what I mean.