I think my marriage is over.

[RaRayRay]

So we had a big argument this morning, in which he told me we both aren't happy so may as well split up.

I will admit I'm not 'happy' as I have been diagnosed with PND and put on ADs which I have been on for 5 weeks.
It wasn't until this morning that he knew that this is a illness and a chemical imbalance.

I feel he doesn't respect me I told him this , for example he will open the dishwasher see it's clean and close the door and leave his dirty dish on the side for me to wash and dishwasher for me to empty.

I did say I wasn't prepared to just 'give up' and marriages go through hard times and we should work at it. He told me he doesn't want this to be his life, going to work, coming home, you know ground hog day. He does have a hobby which can take him away for a whole day at the weekend regularly.

I don't have any hobbies, am a SAHM. I don't know what to do I don't want to be on my own but again what's the point in being with someone who doesn't want to be with me.
The thing is nothing will change for me will it, I will be the one with the DCs, finding a job he will be the one with the freedom.

I just needed to write it all down, there's so much more too but to long to put into words .
Do I fight for this or not ?? I barely have the energy to smile sometimes last weekend I wanted to die, things were better this week and now this. I hate the world right now.

He's taken DD2 with him and I have DS and DD1, DD1 is as good as good but DS is that hard work at the moment he's just a baby but at least he's taken DD2 with him.

I just don't know what to do I hate confrontation and would never initiate it esp infront of other people.
I know I have 'issues' re arguing because I hate it, if you ask anyone that knows me I let a lot of things go over my head, or not but struggle to verbalise it. I don't even know what I'm scared of, I was abused when I was younger and I think it stems from
That.

The things is this is how my DD1s dad was when I met DH and me and DH were good friends and would say to me how wrong it was. We got together 6 months after I left ex so never cheated. And now he's being exactly the same I think he only possible explanation is he doesn't love me anymore and I shall ask him this later.

For the PP that said when we talk I won't play he blame game and will use the phrases you recommended . Thank you

You said earlier, you let a lot of things go, preferring not to be confrontational. Maybe you were conditioned to expect a hornet's nest if you ever stated your case, rather than feeling able to voice concerns without the other person jumping down your throat.

In the old days with H you trusted him to listen, you shared things with him, we used to be great together and talk and he would help me .

Somewhere along the line, that has faded. Now he says you're nagging if you mention something more than once, he can't be bothered pitching in.

Did this start when DS was due? Or when his new job began? You've handled one extra child to look after, plus all the housework. He's coped with the challenges of a new job. Both of you could do with a pat on the back and then it's back to normal, what he calls groundhog day but the rest of us call Life. Shared goals, shared aims.

Why is he becoming more resistant to the idea of listening to and respecting you? I hope you do get a chance to talk tonight. If you can't get babysitters, wait until the DCs are in bed or out of earshot, tv off, no distractions, try and talk.