Boyfriend says he wasts space...already!!

[superstarheartbreaker]

Been with bf for 5 weeks only. It's very passionate in the bedroom but also quite fiery out.
We have had a few lovely dates where I have felt that I'm falling for him and I have not said I loved him but I have said that I car etc, etc. In bed I said teasingly that I have been more mushy than him recently and he relied that he had deliberately not been so mushy back as 'he dosn't want to get hurt.' A phrase that he repeats frequently. He has been through a very difficult seperation with lost babies etc and had a few very intense relationships since. For some reason that fact that he has put a barrier up to my affection really upset me.
It was eating away at me as I feel that I am gving him my love but hewon't return the favour for 'fear of getting hurt.' We had a row about it today and he said that I was hard work and that I am trating him like shit and that he wants two weeks space. He says that he cares for me, dosn't want to keep me hanging on but can't cope with rows.
We don't see each other all the time, I don't call or text him all the time...I just feel that he has sensed that I'm falling for him and now wants out. Shoul I let go. He was lovely on the phone tonight and that the space might make us stronger but my head is all over the place. At this stage it should be all shagging 24 /7 and it is; we cannot keep out hands off each other but emotionally he dosn't want to invest it seems. He keeps going on about how beautiful I am but I have told him that it is the inside that counts. I want somene to love who I am. Pants.

It sounds like neither of you are ready for a relationship yet because you haven't yet got over issues from past relationships.

Best to call it off - no fault on either side.

Sorry to say it but you do sound like hard work to be honest!

And neither of you sound ready for a relationship either.

A good rule in relationships is that if you are arguing regularly in the first six months then it's definitely not meant to be. Arguing in the first one month - run like the wind. And please work on your boundaries - you are far too invested for a 5 week relationship. You barely know this person. You have a sexual connection but as far as a relationship goes that means less than zero.

The two weeks isn't a punishment, no, he just thinks that there will be a huge row if if tries ending it and you'll get all clingy and the like. And to be fair, from what you've said so far, I think he's probably got a point.

So he thinks that by saying you should ease off the 'relationship' for a bit, it will just drift into not seeing each other again and it will be over that way.

Whatever happens, if someone is saying they want a 2 week break after only 5 weeks, they're not interested enough and you should just end it.

I doubt the 2 weeks is a "punishment"

Much more likely it's a poor choice of break up methid.

Your interpreting it as a "punishment" says more about you than him, and I am glad you will be seeing a counsellor soon. I think you need to work on your baggage before seeking further relationships.

I agree with what everyone has said here. It doesn't sound like either of you are emotionally ready for a relationship; he definitely sounds like he'd be better off with a FWB situation rather than a GF as he's not healed from his marriage. As for the 2 weeks break, I agree, it's most likely his way of breaking up with you but he doesn't have the guts just to come out with it.
As they say "love is like a fart...if you have to force it, it's probably shit".

Fwiw lamb does stink, well it has a very particular smell that some people can't stomach. I know plenty of meat eaters who don't eat lamb because of the smell.

Honestly I think you need to leave this relationship and get yourself to a strong place before trying again. Relationships rarely work when one or both parties have lots of baggage they have yet to face.

I ended it.Its a relief but im sad. For the best though. Its ended well with no bitching on either side ....which is nice.

How did he take it OP?

Are you okay?

That's good. You took some control back and now you're not going to be sitting around waiting for him to decide what's happening. It's rubbish but it will pass.

Well done for ending it. Now it's time to look into therapy - can you afford to go privately? You are not really well enough for a relationship and, what's more, you are more likely to attract abusive or inadequate men at present. THe one you've just binned may, actually, have been abusive: some men like to find vulnerable women and lure them in with tales of tragedy, then mess them about and keep them dangling in order to feed the man's ego.

He was fine. Im sad but know ive done the right thing. Its so hard to end it when you are fond of someone.

Wow... A thread in relationships after 5 weeks... .

Op this sounds like a whole load of hard work and drama for a guy you don't really know. Personally, I would drop him quicker than a hot potato. Can you imagine how exhausting this would be if it carried on?

Sorry just read the above... Well done Op. You will be fine..

Sorry but 'needs space' means he's dumped you but hasn't the bollocks to come out & say it!!!!

Men do this because they are cowards... He is probably hoping in those 2 weeks you will have forgotten about him so he doesn't actually have to officially end it! Or if you do contact him once or twice he'll say you're suffocating him or something crap like that.
Truth is he found you attractive & had fun for 5 weeks but he's changed his mind & wants to look elsewhere!!
Sorry to be harsh but unfortunately after 5 years on the dating scene you get to know how the twats think!!!