I just don't think this has anything to do with religion. If he'd had an atheist wife who had refused to abort, what would he have blamed that upon? It's not as if all married non-Catholics just casually abort whenever a pregnancy is inconvenient to their husband.
Saying that any child should have been aborted, in front of your children, is just horrific - and nothing whatsoever to do with religion.
He needs to decide whether he can commit to this family or not, because at the moment he is not commited - you can't be commited only when things are going ok, or when a baby is not crying. You cannot declare your non-commitment to a family and stay in it. That is completely destablising for everyone else.
You can certainly find things difficult at times and talk about your difficulties with your spouse but that is quite different from expressing this sort of hatred towards his family whenever things aren't going quite so well for him.
I think he needs to address this head on, seek counselling if necessary and decide whether he is going to stay, offering love and support, or go. He cannot stay and poison your dc's childhoods.
A friend of mine remembers his father telling him he wished he hadn't had children, when he was about six. They have had no relationship at all since he eventually left a few years later. Is that the outcome your DH wants? For his children to despise him and distance themselves at the first opportunity (and despise and detest him all the more the longer he stays)?