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Original poster

Facebook messages from a friends husband

31 replies

sunnyshine · 28/10/2013 17:44

So a friends husband has been sending me messages on Facebook. Nothing serious just "hi how are you " type ones. Feels a bit weird though. What would you do? I try ignoring but he can see I'm online and this morning sent 4 in about 30 mins as I didn't reply :-(

OP posts:
CaptainSweatPants · 28/10/2013 17:45

Go invisible on there, you can turn the green dot off so no one knows you're online

Trills · 28/10/2013 17:46

You don't have to answer people, even if they can "see" that you are online.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 28/10/2013 17:46

Hide him?

Branleuse · 28/10/2013 17:46

i hate this. Some people are just chatty. Im not. Ive deleted people for trying to be chatty on facebook when i dont want them to. I dont know if theyre trying to be flirty or not, and id rather not know.

KissesBreakingWave · 28/10/2013 17:48

you can go invisible to specific users as well.

Ms23 · 28/10/2013 17:52

Any chance it was actually your friend and not her husband? She might have not realised the computer was logged on as him.

MrsRochestersCat · 28/10/2013 17:55

Sounds fishy to me - trust your instincts and stay clear of him. A normal person with a normal outlook on personal relationships would not be spamming your inbox like this!

I don't know how to adjust Fb settings, hopefully somebody can advise on this...

Original poster
sunnyshine · 28/10/2013 18:00

No not my friend as I was chatting to her about something different at the same time :-) hmmm just not sure. Feel uneasy

OP posts:
theboutiquemummy · 28/10/2013 18:05

If she's really your friend then block him then there will be no problem he seems a bit over zealous to me

Why didn't you mention it to her while she was on the phone if you feel uncomfortable

ImperialFucker · 28/10/2013 20:52

You should have told your friend and then typed to him, "Oh sorry, can't talk much, on the phone to your gf. She wants to know why you're not working."

TheFabulousFuckingIdiotFucker · 28/10/2013 20:59

Block him. Unless you ate really good friends, in which case just remain friends.

Ms23 · 29/10/2013 00:08

Maybe he's trying to open up a conversation do he can ask you something- like help buying a present or planning a suprise for her? Does he have form for inappropriate behaviour?

AlexaChelsea · 29/10/2013 00:14

Really? Your friends husband tried to chat to you, and everyone thinks this is odd?

What am I missing?

meditrina · 29/10/2013 00:18

"What am I missing?"

That OP thinks it's weird. It's therefore not his usual style of interaction, and 4 messages in 30 minutes is persistent to point of pestering.

MusicalEndorphins · 29/10/2013 02:24

Do you know your friend and her husband in real life?
I guess you could have added him to the conversation with your friend?

I never have facebook chat on, you can still carry on conversations, if you want to.

FolkGirl · 29/10/2013 07:16

It depends. I sometimes have text chats with my friend and her husband simultaneously about completely different things. I've no idea if they each know it's me the other is texting but there's nothing untoward about it and I feel comfortable about it.

If I didn't, I wouldn't engage.

CinnabarRed · 29/10/2013 09:14

If her were planning present or a surprise, why wouldn't he just say so? No need for 4 messages in 30 minutes to start that kind of conversation.

Andy1964 · 29/10/2013 15:41

Seems pretty normal to me. I often get messages from my DW friends saying "hello, how u doing"

More to the point, like others have said, it made u feel uneasy.

Why?

DevilsRoulette · 29/10/2013 15:44

why is it weird?

I would have said hi and said to the wife oh X has just said hi to me and said to the husband oh, I'm just chatting with Y too atm.

there must be some reason it felt wrong to you. Can you put your finger on why?

Gruntfuttock · 29/10/2013 15:56

I'm another one confused about why you feel uneasy and chatting with your friend's husband. It's perfectly normal to be friendly with friends' spouses IME. "Hi how are you?" is about as casual and unthreatening as a greeting gets, surely.

MirandaWest · 29/10/2013 16:00

I think one message would be fine. Getting 4 in 30 minutes is a little odd. And if the OP feels odd about it then for her it is odd.

I never have chat switched on when I'm using Facebook. Would find it too intrusive.

Gruntfuttock · 29/10/2013 16:04

Regarding sending 4 in 30 minutes, if the OP had replied to the first one, he wouldn't have kept sending her the same message would he? He probably thought that either she had seen the earlier one(s) or thought that she was being rude in ignoring him if she had seen them and was trying to make her reply out of basic courtesy.

overmydeadbody · 29/10/2013 16:04

Have you never replied to him?

Why do you feel uneasy about it?

I think 4 attempts at engaging you in 30 minutes is a bit unusual.

Change your settings so you don't appear online to him.

Gruntfuttock · 29/10/2013 16:05

Re above:- I meant "He probably thought that either she hadn't seen the earlier one(s)"

Gruntfuttock · 29/10/2013 16:06

Why not just reply and be pleasant to him. If you met him in the street and he greeted you, would you completely ignore him, or would you reply to him?