I do not think I like or value myself very much to. I used to. not now. I hate my weight but cannot stop doubting my ability to loose it..so I binge..feel guilty. .start again...doubt..binge..etc.
Those around me comment how lovely I am.. trustworthy. .caring.. make a good friend. I'm praised on my ability within my job and I feel like everyone else sees somthing I don't.
I feel like im always missing the mark with stuff. Like I never do it well enough. .could do better. I worry about what other people think. if they like me...if I give enough of myself to friendships and my relationship.. my daughter. People say how great a mother I am..but I feel like I should be doing better..though I love her immensely and she makes me incredibly happy.
I do not like how I look. . I wonder if I should be in a high flying career...is my job low level or a reflection of poor intelligence. I wish I was smarter. . I don feel very smart. Some days I don't feel like I want to leave the house, but I do for dd. I have huge anxiety over my and my daughters safety. (I am a victim of prolonged sexual abuse) sometimes I cannot even walk past a man in the supermarket without wandering what kind of man he is. It's fair to say I am a little paranoid over it,pperhaps. Though I think I hide it well.
I don't feel I have much to give anyone. I find my positive mood can shift quickly and I become upset and a bit low. never with dd though. . just life. minor things.. the day not flowing how id like. .not doing enough for dd if an activity gets cancelled for ex.
I don't like feeling like this. does anyone understand what I describe. .I dont really understand it and would like someone else's perspective. it doesn't feel like me. I feel like my tummy is full of stress and anxiety.
I really want to be happy with myself. . how can I improve the relationship with myself? my stbdh is awesome and our relationship is very strong, we are a happy li family. I have a good job, friend's family, house..on paper it all so good.