Persistant lying over ridiculously petty things is leaving me enraged and paranoid.

[colditz]

I asked dp this morning - "have you changed the baby's nappy?"

"Yes, I did it before you got up." He replies.

Nappy is soaking. He has not changed baby's nappy, don't get me wrong baby had only had nappy on since I changed it first thing, but why FUCKING LIE!!!!???

I've hadf enough, I cannot take tyhe lies anymore, it is nearly ever day he tries to feed me some unbelievable crack of bullshit, and I wouldn't trust him now if he said grass was green.

It's not even purely that I am being lied to, but also the things he tries to get me to believe are outragious! No way had the baby been changed in the last hour, no way is he not smoking when he goes out, his hands stink of it. I don't care, but I will not be lied to! He has an email account that he denies all knowledge of, yet it is set up with his username and his password.

How can i deal with this? He will lie until he is blue in the face, then when presented with evidence to tyhe contrary, will carry on lying!

He says he knows I will be pissed off ad that is why he lies, but I have told him again and again and again... nothing winds me up more than being lied to

I'm sorry - my dada was a pathological liar. MOst of the time we were able to laugh about it but his lying about the ridiculously small things used to get my mum down. No advice really just sympathy.

You gotta talk to him about it. And he has to change.
But try not to get so angry in the meantime. A baby's nappy is only a baby's nappy!

They always get found out in the end anyhow and then it makes it 10 times worse.I can completely sympathise with you colditz it isnt a nice feeling. Has he lied about bigger things then this in the past? My dh did which is why even the little lies piss me off because to me he hasnt changed and hasnt made me trust him. Ive said to him if he has to lie to me then a. he shouldnt be doing it and b. he shoud have the balls to be honest.

I know bluejelly, that is my point. It is only a nappy. Why the hell lie? I only wanted to know if it needed doing! I didn't accuse him of neglecting the baby, or anything like that, my only comment about it that the nappy was too wet to have just been changed, therefore he was lying.

He did eventually admit lying, but why do I have to insist on the truth? It should come naturally surely?

You're right colditz it should. Why does he feel the need to lie?

You've written about your partner in the past and the fact is he cannot or just as importantly will not change. The decision therefore is ultimately yours.

D'you feel you would all be better off without him in your lives?

I don't, that's the thing. I think I just have to accept that he does lie.

Message withdrawn

Liars are my pet hate & i know this sounds harsh but if dp lied to me & kept on lieing to me after i had confronted him i would bloody leave him in the end because it would drive me totally & utterly insane & destroy us (dp knows this)

I think you need to confront him & lay down some rules anymore total bullshit & hes out

i cannot abide lying, and i find little unnecessary lies the worst in many respects. For me they say - untrustworthy and immature. It seems particularly sad colditz that your DH says his motive for this is so that he will piss you off!You are obviously prepared to accommodate all his faults and yet he will purposefully make you upset and angry. I think that shows he does not respect you and personally i could not live without respect. I feel very and for you.

Have you asked him why he does it?
Does he know?

Message withdrawn

My DH does this, it came to a head with a incident that nearly ended our marriage because I didn't believe him over something major, only because he lied so many times about minor things

some people never grow out of that childhood auto-reaction of saying whatever they think will keep them out of 'trouble'. he sounds very much like this, dont you think? as to how to sort it, god knows! therapy and a big kick up the arse probably.

I lied to my ex about a few things when we were together. He was a control freak, who defined our relationship so that I was the child and he was the adult. If he didnt like what I said to him, he used to explode with rage, or hit me. So yes, I told him what he wanted to hear.

leave him. it is patently obvious that you have no respect or affection for him(not that I blame you..)

eh hem.... there is NOTHING wrong with being a contolfreak (but an awful lot wrong with violence obviously)

sorry. was a bit slow. that was for fistful..

the word "ex" is a clue, moondog. And you dont tend to analyse how much you respect someone when you are scared of being hit.

oooh controlfreaky, dont get me started! my mother is one, I married ex to get away from her - he was worse. Ive been under the influence of control freaks most of my life. Yet I am not a weak person, nor do I like being controlled.
I loathe control freaks - can spot'em a mile off now, and avoid!

I MEAN COLDITZ fistful.(smile)

ps Im not a fantasist though, which is what I think the OP was talking about.

sorry moondog