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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Text s£x

41 replies

mumsnetfan · 05/07/2006 09:50

married male friend says text s£x with a female friend is not an affair, I think it is, what do others think, no physical relationship all happens on text

OP posts:
WelshBoris · 05/07/2006 09:51

i fikn u is ded stupid if u do this

Original poster
mumsnetfan · 05/07/2006 09:59

I'M NOT DOING IT !!!!

OP posts:
WelshBoris · 05/07/2006 10:01

i fink u is lying u is aving txt sex wiv a married man

Original poster
mumsnetfan · 05/07/2006 10:08

think what you want, I know I'm not, I happen to have a male friend for the last 20 years who on a night out was getting an abundance of texts and I got suspcious and he told me it was a woman he works with and they engage in raunchy texts, he doesn't think it's an affair, he doesn't even think it's text sex, I do and I've told him he should stop before his wife finds his phone (as she will) and all hell breaks loose, and I just wanted other female or male opinions, he thinks I'm over the top and in his words should chill about it.

OP posts:
WelshBoris · 05/07/2006 10:10

Of course its cheating, ask him how he would feel if his wife was having text sex with someone

Tommy · 05/07/2006 10:12

an affair isn't just the sex - it's the deceit. I guess he wouldn't want his wife to see the texts from his text girlfriend so he is deceiving her.
Just as bad I would say.

sadandsickened · 05/07/2006 10:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
mumsnetfan · 05/07/2006 10:28

have sent him a text ....I know I know, and asked him the question welshboris, will let you know what he says

OP posts:
Original poster
mumsnetfan · 05/07/2006 10:34

has said not happy if wife was doing it, doesn't count it as an affair, maybe a part affair - has been told to stop and has be warned - on his head now if he carries on

OP posts:
WelshBoris · 05/07/2006 10:35

If you are really good friends with the wife, then I would tell her

LadyTamba · 05/07/2006 10:36

If its a woman he works with how long before they take the next step and actually start acting out their text fantasies.

bubblez · 05/07/2006 10:36

OMG!!!

Sadandsickened makes a very good point, if his DW finds the txts he curtainly won't be able to pursued her that txting is all that is going on. He needs to stop before he finds himself up sh!t creek without a padle.

Besides if he has any sort of feelings for his wife, the thought of her being hurt by finding out, will be enough to make him stop behaving like a school kid. If it isn't enough to make him stop then he deserves everything that he'll get when he gets caught.

fairyfly · 05/07/2006 10:38

What a sad sad desperate sad sad state of affairs.

I don't get text sex.

Do you get a message saying

i wnt to stck my cckk thru ur beevr

and then you politely pardon yourself and nip to the
nearest public toilet for a wank.

bubblez · 05/07/2006 10:39

OH and maybe you need to remind him that the truth always comes out in the end.

OH and I agree with Tamba. If he sees her everyday at work it won't be long before the temptation gets too strong.

WelshBoris · 05/07/2006 10:40

cod does txt sex?

sadandsickened · 05/07/2006 10:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Bugsy2 · 05/07/2006 10:46

I don't think it is an affair - I think it is a major flirtation. I don't think it is right, but it is not as bad as having a full affair.

Beetroot · 05/07/2006 10:47

not like an affair.

and just a bit of fun i think...

SecurMummy · 05/07/2006 10:50

TBH I don't think it is an affair as such, however it is a major betrayal on the same scale as an affair and is of a sexual nature. Based on that I would expect his wife to react and feel exactly as if he were.

The fact is that if he does not openly carry this out in front of hi wife and ahve her full consent means he already knows what he is doing is wrong. It is easy to get into things without realising where they are going to end up and get carried along, hence the immortal lines such as - I didn't mean it to happen... which mean jack sXXt when your life is in pieces and you feel you have lost everything you have worked for.

I really think he needs a good slap round the chops to try and get his common sense gene reconnected!

Beetroot · 05/07/2006 10:50

i have had text sex with my dh

SecurMummy · 05/07/2006 10:51

Beety - do you relly mean you wouldn't mind if you found out that someone else had had text sex with your DH?

So how does it work? [nosey emoticon]

Beetroot · 05/07/2006 10:53

not tellling how it works..just descriptive I guess and a bit funny.

if I didn't know...

acnebride · 05/07/2006 10:55

You're right of course MNfan. God people can really kid themselves can't they. If his wife is OK with it there is no problem in which case he can tell her. If he can't tell her then there is a problem.

what next - 'my wife won't have text sex with me'?

[heads off to send dirty text to dh]

Beetroot · 05/07/2006 10:59

if I knew dh was doing this I would be very unhappy,

HOWEVER

we have much longer relationships these days adn I wonder if we are expecting too much from our dh's and them form us...we live longer. Is a bit of flirting really that bad???

bubblez · 05/07/2006 11:04

I understand where your coming from beetroot, but what if he worked with the person that he was having the txt sex with?? (as in this case) wouldn't you constantly doubt that it was just txting and think that maybe there was more to it then that?!?!?

I know I would... maybe I'm just not that confident in a mans ablity to resist curtain temptations.... sorry any men on here!!