The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The *Wine Witch* Into Touch, Because Enough Is Enough!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse :)

This is a thread for those who are worried about their drinking habits towards alcohol, or/and drugs.

Even if you think that you are drinking more tonight than last night or this week than last, come and have a chat, find a seat, we don't bite!

We are a supportive Bus, full of very different posters, from various backgrounds. Some of us drink in moderation, allowing ourselves the odd glass or two as a treat, or just because we're in control of our drinking for that day.

One Day At A Time.

We have those who abstain completely, and those who wake every day to Day 1 and hope with all of their hearts that they can, and will, make it to Day 2.

If you've followed our journey to date, you'll know who most of us are by now :) and we kind of have two 'sayings', that sum up who we are -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

That said, we will not have any bashing of support groups, such as AA or Community Support Teams or even your own GP.

This Bus is a place for honesty, sanctuary and safety, something that has taken four years for a number of very special, very lovely, very honest and caring Babes to establish.

So, come find a seat, grab something warm from the supply cupboard at the back of the Bus as it's going to be cold tonight! Brrrr!

And, if you'd like to read back over some of our history, HERE IS THE LAST THREAD

And, HERE IS WHERE IT ALL BEGAN

We hope to meet you soon :) xxx

You ARE safe here. Please don't answer the phone to him or the door if he comes round tonight.

I'm - thank you sweetheart, you and I are alike in so many ways with the abuse we face or have faced, as are many other Babes. You are safe here. You can always talk here and never be judged. Ever.

Ma - I feel for your DD so much. Passed from pillar to post time and time again. It's shit. It's frustrating. I'm sorry your DD suffers too.

Nemo - well, he's asleep for now. Hopefully for a few hours yet. I'm off to bed so will see you all tomorrow.

Sorry not tmi name check you all but you're all fab for caring and that means so much to me.

Night all xxx.

I forgot to add earlier that I'm in contact with the lovely Purps and whilst things are not great, she's okay and wanted me to post that.

Sleep well all, xxx

Morning babes
Had a quiet peaceful night here

ma I get so much strength from you all it really helps being here sometimes I feel so on my own with dealing with him its so lonely.
mouse I know you get me and so do others here, moving away from him it was truly magical at the beginning I had my freedom I was so happy, I soon learned its impossible to handle freedom when you've never tasted it before, I can not handle ' no him' I need some of him because his abuse was and is so intense I have learned to need it like a drug.

I hope you had some sleep last night x

How's everyone else doing? Anyone ready for a day one or two with me I can here that WW already I know I know but shes setting me up to fall later I need a non drinking buddy

Waving at rural and all babes x

Morning babes

I don't get much time to post but I always read and send best wishes to all.
I'm please,please keep reading and posting,you sound stronger today. Yes, he does sound like a drug and you've linked made excatly the right connection about what you learned from his abuse. Stay strong babe,that self awareness will help you step away when you can. I have a total tool abusive ex who is in my long distant past and while I wouldn't care to bump into him,I have no feelings at all about him. He's just a twunt. I won't be drinking tonight and I am on a huge mission to do some nice things for me everyday. Fancy joining me for that?
mouse sorry to hear that life is hard again but i'm sooo impressed at how nemo has managed his first 1/2 term in school. Wow! He will soon be 1/3 of the way through the school year. What a champion.

rural soooo good to see you posting here and fighting the ww. x

ma you are a lovely kind laydee,you know.

Right, I'm having a bit of a 'fuck it' moment with aa and after a lot of hard thinking,which made my brain hurt,I will keep going because I NOT going back to where I was with booze but neither am I going to take the slightest bit of notice of the hard line,orthodox twaddle. I shall nod politely and bugger off to sit with the more normal members of the group. I have made amends to my dh and ds, from now on I'm going to make amends to ME and that's it.I really need aa and I enjoy it but I'm going to filter out the bits that don't make any sense to me.

I've been having some horrible mood swings recently- I spent last thursday crying and crying. I know that I need to look after myself as much as possible so that I don't get too tired or overwrought. Quite frankly, I will be a more useful member of aa if I make sure I feel ok before going to a meeting. If I don't feel fine then I shall go to bed with a book instead. Hoorah!

Sorry for the mega post but I wanted to flag up that we all need to look after ourselves and rest because it's hard to beat the ww when you feel worn through. I loved why's question (she is awesome). I have some things I would love to do that booze has held me back from but just for today I am going to look after me.
Pass us an opal fruit then.

Morning Babes

Im, I'm a recently-joined passenger on this 'ere bus, but I've read your posts and, like all the other babes on here, I really feel for you and wish I could make your pain go away.

I'm gonna be around all day if you need to chat.

Just got back from school run and feeling positive and fresh, BUT - today is day 6 for me, and with weekend approaching, I know I'm going to need support.

For me, every day is Day One - evil WW could be thinking about setting off to give me a weekend visit, or she might surprise me with a little 'after-college' appearance tonight.

Please stay with me and make the positive choice not to pick up today.

Morning babes, im I'll be your buddy, be honoured to join you mouse hope you and your lovely boy are feeling a wee bit better today, wish I could help xxxx

Morning, tis me, Mouse

I'm - massive hugs to you this morning, today is another day that you are going to grow. Stronger, taller, and shine brighter than before. Stay with us, here, it's lovely and warm on this Bus - bloody freezing out there today! I'm out for most of the day now but see you're in good hands so will stock up on treats when I'm out. Back after school. xxx

Baby - the wee chap is still full of a cough and I slept in with him last night to try and keep him more upright to ease his cough and congestion, he slept a bit better, unlike me but I'm used to living on 3 hours sleep! Have a strong day xxx

Gugs - Quite right too!!! FFS, some people need shooting. AA is so varied, so many groups are life saving and then you get the odd one or seven that can really fuck you up

Take what YOU NEED from AA and then walk away each time? Great plan! That's exactly what you need to do to get the support that has helped you in the past. The way you've been treated and spoken too has been shite, if you can learn to block that out, then you are the one who is stronger than any other in the room. Big hugs to you sweetheart, thank you for coming back and telling us what's been going on. xxx

Hello to ALL other Babes, I must dash, any requests for yummy treats? Just pop them on the thread and I'll check when I'm out as to who wants what. No Opal Fruits, I know for a FACT that you lot have had to survive on them due to my neglect of the store cupboard of late...

Bye for now xxx

PS - sorry for any typos etc, rushing as per!!

I Feel a rough as a badgers armpit and sooooo bl**dy with myself.
To hungover to read back properly buT Im and baby can I be a non drinking buddy too.
mouse thinking of you and hoping you can find some relief from your pain somewhere. Big hugsxxxx. Thanks for the update on purps miss her hope she comes back when she feels up to it. XX

Morning babes,

Im I love that it felt magical when you first left him . You made that amazing step and found some freedom. It is really tough finding our way in new territory and when things seem overwhelming it is natural to want to retreat to a place we 'know'. You are moving forward and finding your way though, keep going babe x

guggs Faced with a roller coaster of emotions and some difficult people makes your determination to fight for you even stronger. I think you are amazing. Just that really

Why too much. I think booze had held me back from too much. It just feeds my fears, drains all my energy then leaves me wanting to avoid everything. (But my brain still tries hard to classify it as treat/relaxer/fun time)

I haven't drunk so far this month. I think it is getting slightly easier (not feeling complacent, just based on obsessional thinking time). Dh has not drunk for the past few days so that does help. Whoever realized that November was such an extraordinarily long month!

Good luck to those teaming up for tonight. Anyone else playing? Spanna, This, Andy, Soc, Joey, Ma, Faire, Isinde, Buggerme, Meet, Haggis, Mouse, Venus, Annie, Chopin. Or any other lovely babes?

Eewww keep those germs to yourself snotbag

Count me in Beaches, no alcohol for me this evening. Day 5 for me today.

The trouble with listing names is that I ALWAYS forget some. Sorry obrigada, day 5 is excellent by the way

No worries Beaches, am crap at name checking as well

Oh yes, I'm on board. Last night was stupid and I didn't even enjoy it. I just wanted to get numb. But I should have gone for a run, that would have helped the stress and 'fuck it' moment and I would have felt good afterwards instead of this shite.
God I fucking hate wine.
Actually I love it.
But actually I hate it.
On that note, I'm off to bed. I'll just lie down at the back of the bus with my blanket and enormous bag of opal fruits (just don't tell ma).

Well done to you all gorgeous nutty babes.
xxx

at obrigada

That is it soc the bloody love it/hate it merry-go-round. Argh. Sleep well x

Hello guggs how's your nice treats going? I bought myself a new top that count?

Hay rural how are you doing now, treat yourself kindly, non drinking buddy you are it's official! You too baby

beaches great to here that, I love reading what others achieve it gives me encouragement I do crap on my own.

My time iv wrote out my post I'm so slow on phone, I x post and miss posts

Looks like you might have a number of non-drinking buddies joining you tonight Im, we are lining up behind you

Soc - Oh yes, I'm on board. Last night was stupid and I didn't even enjoy it. I just wanted to get numb. But I should have............... done anything else sweetheart

I can so relate to the wanting to get 'numb' feeling. Massively so in fact. Emotional and physical pain pushes that "need" into my head ever day, every night. The thing is that you have recognised the way you felt and the action you took..... water, carbs, quick slap with Barry if needed and a bit of thinking as to why you felt the need to feel numb. xxx

IsinDe - Lemsips, mahoosive pillows, fluffy quilts, Kleenex Balm tissues (other snott absorbing brands are available ) and some paracetamol. Oh, and a servant for you to bring you whatever you need!

Well bloody done Obrigada :) xxx

beaches - that's 2 weeks!!!! Go YOU!!! xxx

Rural - do you want to talk about your trigger? Was it a FUCK IT moment or had you had a bad day? How are things on the whole? I'll keep in contact with Purps and let her know you're asking after her, as are others :)

You seem fed up atm, has something happened to make life tougher? I've got to go to physio now but will be around after 3. Big hugs to you lovely, I know that something triggered you drinking, you and Soc need to get snuggled up at the back of the Bus and stay hydrated..... This WW is not going to win, you HAVE to remember that, it's just how you get there, from where you are now, and to what degree IYSWIM?

Back later. Take it a minute at a time if need be all xxx

Soc, I had a fuck it night last night and woke in the early hours full of regret. Day 1 (again)
Rural I feel your pain, with myself too, but gotta remember the wise words of someone upthread, nobody ever beat themselves up into a happy place.
Mouse I hope Nemo is doing better today and your poor back is not giving you jip.
I'm will you make room on the end of your line for me?
Hope all you other babes are having a good day so far. Will check in again this evening.

Hi Mama

I am never going to name check again! I so want everyone to feel included but if someone isn't on a long list then I probably make them feel worse I love ALL your posts and this thread really does help me so much.

Yes, it is 2 weeks for me. (Gives a little whoop!). Last month I didn't manage more than a 12 day stretch so a new personal best. I am quite determined to achieve 30 days in a row. Not entirely sure about after that but at the moment this feels a more manageable challenge. (It didn't on the 1 Nov but now at the almost halfway mark it seems possible). So that's me definitely in line for tonight

beaches thanks for the shout out, how are you?

I feel weird, not ill but my glands are all tender and swollen. Never had that before, it feels very odd. Will it turn into mumps?!

Either that or the plague I expect

I think sometimes when your glands are up it is a sign your body is fighting an infection. Perhaps a cold on the way? I am fine, have my eldest at home with sore throat, might go and rummage around his glands now .

Oh that sounded WRONG . I will check his NECK for swollen glands!!