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The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The *Wine Witch* Into Touch, Because Enough Is Enough!

999 replies

Mouseface · 23/10/2013 23:16

Hello, tis me, Mouse :)

This is a thread for those who are worried about their drinking habits towards alcohol, or/and drugs.

Even if you think that you are drinking more tonight than last night or this week than last, come and have a chat, find a seat, we don't bite! Wink

We are a supportive Bus, full of very different posters, from various backgrounds. Some of us drink in moderation, allowing ourselves the odd glass or two as a treat, or just because we're in control of our drinking for that day.

One Day At A Time.

We have those who abstain completely, and those who wake every day to Day 1 and hope with all of their hearts that they can, and will, make it to Day 2.

If you've followed our journey to date, you'll know who most of us are by now :) and we kind of have two 'sayings', that sum up who we are -

    • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
    • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

That said, we will not have any bashing of support groups, such as AA or Community Support Teams or even your own GP.

This Bus is a place for honesty, sanctuary and safety, something that has taken four years for a number of very special, very lovely, very honest and caring Babes to establish.

So, come find a seat, grab something warm from the supply cupboard at the back of the Bus as it's going to be cold tonight! Brrrr!

And, if you'd like to read back over some of our history, HERE IS THE LAST THREAD

And, HERE IS WHERE IT ALL BEGAN

We hope to meet you soon :) xxx

OP posts:
buggermewhatnext · 29/10/2013 21:37

Hi babes, survived today just! half term temptations blowing a gale!
ma lol at the name for dp wankbadger who dreamt up that name??
hmmm
purps where the hec are you gal? need you to give me a hand with cleaning up this bus! The buggers have left me to do it all tonight!!

Mouseface · 29/10/2013 21:38

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Just for those who have asked, Purps, she's had no electricity so no internet but we're in touch via text and things are okay :)

Welcome to those who have joined us, those who have kicked ass over the last few days, hours, minutes......

Today I found out that Nemo's nurse is handing over to another nurse, she's reducing her hours. I wept in front of her, for four and a half years, she's been my rock, my wingman, my voice on the inside, my forcefield surrounding us, Nemo and I.

I feel like I'm losing part of me, us........ I'm feeling lost and sad, she's called me when he's been dying in PIICU, she's been to see him in the local hospital, got him presents, cards, devoted more of herself than was ever needed...... so I'm afraid to say I'm drinking tonight.

This was the straw that broke the Mouse's furry little back.

I'm feeling very sad so I'm having a night off the Bus, in the Sidecar if there's room? Sorry xxx

OP posts:
buggermewhatnext · 29/10/2013 21:45

mouse sending you lots of hugs. xx

Scarymuff · 29/10/2013 21:52

Ah Mouse what a sad loss, so sorry that you and Nemo are losing her. I hope you can build an equally strong relationship with the new nurse. Is Nemo any better at all this week?

babyjane1 · 29/10/2013 22:07

Big giant hugs to Mouse xxxxxxx

Mouseface · 29/10/2013 22:54

Yes, he's a bit better but this is the worst time of year for him, fluctuating temperatures, inside it's warm - cold and damp outside. His immune system won't be fully formed as such because of his heart until he is 8/9 years old.

He's had a flu jab for the last three years. He can't have cold remedies as he's tube fed and won't take medicine orally :(

So, two glasses of white wine down (I appreciate that sounds like nothing compared to others and of course my own past record) but on a Tuesday, that's not my 'norm', pain meds have been taken, and topped up because my acupuncture has really bruised me, and I have a very long journey to hospital for my little fish, then up to north Yorkshire on Thursday which is only going to add to my pain levels, rather a lot as it happens......

DH is playing golf with our friend's DH and they're staying over in Leeds. So, no respite. But at least DH gets a MUCH NEEDED BREAK! DD is off to my parents so will see her grandma and grandad who miss her so much.

Roll on term starting again! My physio asked me to rest, ahahahahahahahahaha! Grin

Anyway, I've hogged the thread, sorry. Off to bed and to start the night shift.

Take good care all. Be back tomorrow. Thank you for being you Babes xxx

For any new Babes, I'm not normally down, it's been a tough day, one I thought I could kick.

So, night all, tomorrow's a whole new day and asses shall be kicked!

M xxx

PS - sorry for any typos etc, still getting used to this new tablet! :) xxx

OP posts:
Scarymuff · 29/10/2013 23:00

Night mouse, hope you get a good night x

whydidthishappen · 29/10/2013 23:06

Hang in there Mouse! What a rough piece of news.

I know I said I wasn't counting days anymore, but because I get a double visitation with my boy in a few hours AND I'll be doing it on my 50th day sober, I felt like sharing that.

Life still an unending torrent of shit, topped now by a throbbing toothache. Keep throwing it my way life. I don't know how high the mountain is going to be, but I'm climbing it every single second of every day.

dementedma · 30/10/2013 07:30

makes teeny tiny space in the sidecar for a sad mouse
why you are the new Jesus on this thread.
bugger saw the phrase wankbadger on another thread and loved it.
Well, the lapse last night gave me a splitting headache, a night of thirst and sugar cravings and a morning of the shits.quelle surprise. Back into determined mode today and as I am working until 9 pm I should be safe.
Have a good day y'all

thurso13 · 30/10/2013 07:56

Good morning lovelies,

Sorry,I haven't posted or read back for a while, time poverty with new job, and now it's half term (Yesssss!). Ds2 has been home for a week, and I was awake really early this morning feeling weepy because he goes back today.Who would have thought the time would come when I feel bereft that there will be no wet towels on the floor, disdainful answers (I don't think so, mum!), for a while. Overall, I just miss him, for him, lovely boy that he is.

Anyway, I just clocked in, and wanted to say Mouse, I hope you are ok this morning, what a blow. I'm sure Nemo's new nurse will have been given the complete lowdown on lovely Nemo, and will be wanting to get things right, and make Nemo feel safe and secure. I imagine change is a very difficult thing for Nemo, and you, with worrying about the future. But, remember, Nemo bless him, has taken huge strides this year with school, and new people, and has done brilliantly.
Take care sweetheart. xxxx

Bright and sunny here today, hope it's the same for everyone Smile
xxx

thurso13 · 30/10/2013 07:58

Whoops, slight overuse of your boy's name there Mouse Grin.
xxx

thurso13 · 30/10/2013 08:01

Ma Morning matey! I hope the head is getting better!
Is there somewhere you could take a little nap at lunchtime? I hope your day goes well, and that hometime comes around fast for you.
xxx

Anneisnotmyname · 30/10/2013 10:06

Wow why well done on 50 days :)

Hope your feeling better mouse, I imagine it must feel almost like losing family :(

Well I've lapsed for the past five days. Partly because it's been half term and I've not had to get up early, partly because h has bought wine nearly every night. However it was my choice to drink it and I need to get out of this mind set of thinking if it's there I'll have some. So day one today.

Mouseface · 30/10/2013 11:00

Morning, tis me, Mouse :)

I think I 'needed' last night if that makes sense, we've just had so much going on, and 'I've' had so much going on that I needed a bit of a fuck it moment! Thank you for all of your kind words of support, it means a lot.

I wanted to say that over the last four+ years, we've seen lots of successful Babes kick the living shit out of the booze, FOR GOOD even though it's only ever really One Day At A Time.

JWN, Venus, BProud, Bafana, Trinity, and MIFLAW to name a few who are TOTALLY SOBER today, but we have those who have been sober for days, weeks, and months too, which is something that they didn't quite believe they'd ever really achieve.

This place, this Bus has always had those who lapse and always will, that's what keeps it moving.

We're not a Boot Camp, honest! We're a support thread for those who are trying to find their own source of support away from here. AA, Addiction Counselling, Detox via a set program, seeing your GP or checking into a private clinic. Whatever works for you might not be for me and we need to be our own leaders in that.

Some Babes have even devised their own way of detoxing or ways to reduce the amount they consume and those too are success stories, but some aren't and that's what keeps us trying, surely?

Those who do come back to say why they failed, to say why they feel they didn't quite get it right and either ask for advice on how to avoid that gigantic pitfall or blip again, do so because there is ALWAYS someone who has walked in those shoes, their shoes.

We've all said how bad drinking makes us feel, emotionally, physically, etc and are never 'proud' to be hungover, or feeling sick, shaky, knowing that it was never going to end well!

But our posts, the honesty that some of us feel we can share, might just be helping someone out there, even with those who are trying to end the living hell of the constant cycle of drinking, those desperate to get off the hamster wheel........

For me it's those posts that help me and I'm sure others, to stop at my own limit. To now know and understand why that boundary is now in place to start with.

There's so many sources of support out there, and on this site, so many different ways to go these days, but knowing that this Bus has a stop for me and it's always within reach, keeps me starting these threads for whoever wants to use the Bus and as long as we have those who are trying to stop even for that next hour of their lives, then I will start a new thread.

Thank you all for making that the case :) xxx

Have Brave days Babes, you can stop drinking for 'good' but you REALLY HAVE TO WANT IT! And you will, one day you really will. Just look at Richard's story. From zero to absolute hero in my book, with the right tools anything is possible xxx

OP posts:
Mouseface · 30/10/2013 11:04

Annie - that's what I mean, it's that easy isn't it? I'm glad you're seeing it for what it is though and taking action. Go you!

OP posts:
Scarymuff · 30/10/2013 12:04

I wanted to stop but I couldn't. Every morning I told myself, that is it. No more.

Yet every evening there I was, opening a bottle again. I wanted to stop - I just didn't know how.

Then I found this bus. If it had had been full of people who had been sober for years I honestly don't think I would have joined. It would have been like waddling into weightwatchers to find all the others at their goal weight and maintaining.

I wasn't ready to give up completely. I was scared. I could not imagine a life without alcohol. But this bus is a journey and I have moved so far from that starting point.

I love to hear success stories but I am also so, so glad that for those who are not so successful that there is a safe place to come and try again. To find acceptance, support and kindness without judging.

Why I agree with Ma, you are the new Jesus Grin Love your posts so much.

Mintyy · 30/10/2013 12:18

I agree with you Scary. I lurk on the bus but I drink less and less as I get older and am coming round to thinking that I might just give up altogether if I choose to.

To be perfectly frank, and I apologise if anyone finds this hurtful, I find the sad stories on this bus a stark warning of how things could be if I didn't keep a mindful grip on my drinking. But it is an effort to keep this grip and, otoh, from reading the inspiring posts from the likes of Jesus, Venus, Bproud and others, I am coming round to the idea that being totally alcohol-free might well be the best state of all.

I am sure there are countless lurkers on these threads. The Bus is here for hundreds if not thousands of users and long may she continue.

Flowers to you Mouse for all the effort you put in!

ThisIsMyTime · 30/10/2013 13:12

Alcohol is ruining my life I hate it why can't u just stop day 1 agin and feeling nervous as hell

Mouseface · 30/10/2013 13:42

ThisIs - get through the next two minutes, then the next hour of today, then get to 4pm. For me and for you and because you can. Just look ahead to 4pm and see how you feel by then.

I'm taking the boy swimming but keep coming back to post. Let it all out. Please just don't pick up until 4pm and we can take it from there together and with anyone who comes along. You're seeing yourself through worthless eyes This and I, we won't let it happen!

Keep busy, search on here for a thread to read in classics, something funny. You are not worthless, you can stop. So do it. X

OP posts:
obrigada · 30/10/2013 15:23

Hey babes, checking in. Day 2 for me today, drank too much on Monday night and ended up calling in sick to work. This has never happened before. Today I will not drink.

Mouseface · 30/10/2013 15:46

This - I'm back from our swimming trip, are you there sweetheart? How are you feeling now?

Obrigada - I'm not surprised you're feeling crappy, especially if you were that bad you called in sick. What triggered that session? Are you OK?

Mintyy - GREAT POST! Those are the kind of posts I'm talking about. From your heart, gut, soul, wherever BUT from deep within, something's beginning to change, on your terms, in your, time but it's coming. :) x

OP posts:
ThisIsMyTime · 30/10/2013 15:55

Still muddling through finding it tough

Anneisnotmyname · 30/10/2013 16:12

Fab posts mintyy, mouse, scary, I've been sat in the hairdressers and have read them back at least twice. They very much sum up why I'm on the bus and what it means to me better than I ever could.

Hope your ok thisis. I'm on day 1 too but telling myself it's better than not trying at all. I think it was Ma who said up thread that every day is day one and that makes a lot of sense to me. If I looked too far ahead I might not even try, if I always think I've gone back to the beginning I'll get demotivated.

Well h has bought another bottle of wine but I will not drink it. I'll keep reminding myself that last time we had it it was foul and that I have to take responsibility for my own drinking. I did have a bit of wine left - that I like - from last night. I tipped that down the sink, a first for me :)

Mouseface · 30/10/2013 16:12

Okay, so how have you 'muddled' through before? You're not new to this torment, so how do we get to 5pm? x

OP posts:
ThisIsMyTime · 30/10/2013 16:24

I have no choice don't know how things got this bad, just eaten some stogy food it's my sons birthday tomorrow so want to be fresh for him just want this anxiety to clear off