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Original poster

Embarrasing Problem regarding new boyfriend...

79 replies

WordsAreNoUseAtAll · 23/10/2013 23:07

OK, I know this will sound trolly, so... nice ham, pombears, biscuits, LTB, etc etc

Right. I am halfway through divorcing stbxh for being all EA and twatty. I have a new boyfriend :-D He is lovely, funny, clever and a great dancer.

Also. He is very experienced and skillful in bed. I know I've been married for yonks (I was with stbxh for 7 years), and I'm only young still, but due to my attitude towards various forms of non monogamy, I'm relatively experienced myself. This man KNOWS what he is doing. He has a reputation.

My issue is... he is quite large. I only had xh for the last three or so years, and things got a bit married sex, so maybe I'm just dead inside.

He made me BLEED. He's filthy too (which I love) but that means that he, erm, hurts various parts. He is entirely willing to do whatever I ask (and anyway even if he wanted anything else, he is more than welcome to go and do it to some other poor young lady or gentleman) I don't want to just stick to boring positions due to said amazingness, but I also would like to not get injured.

What can I do? Is there some kind of...method? Or something?...

I've shagged about 50 people. This is a new issue.

He is very lovely and doesn't want to hurt me, but he also seems to find it all quite funny Grin

I AM NOT A TROLL.

OP posts:
Casmama · 23/10/2013 23:38

I don't believe that you bleed during sex and you a. don't know how it happens, b. are not concerned and going to see your GP or c. Find it funny.

Either you are a little odd or looking to get your rocks off.

awakemysoull · 23/10/2013 23:41

This is brutally honest. Sorry!!

My ex was massive. 12.5 inches.

I felt like I was being impaled every time and I also had issues with bleeding and being sore for several days afterwards.

The best position we tried was missionary. It didn't go as deep. Doggy was awful.

I went on top sometimes and it wasn't too bad because I could control how deep it went. If he wasn't satisfied only going 3/4 of the way inside me I'd wait until I was pleasured (Wink) and finish him off with a hand job or blow job

Best thing you can do is be honest with him and don't do anything that will hurt you

Original poster
WordsAreNoUseAtAll · 23/10/2013 23:44

I do have a vagina. yes, sorry, I didn't make it clear.

I promise I am a long standing regular poster. I've been part of the christmas appeal, pregnancy threads, I have loads of MNetters on FB, I've been to meetups.

He has a very wide repetoire, I've heard stories of him doing things that I'm not into with several people. I'm fairly vanilla, and he totally respects that. He wanted to not hurt me any more, and it was me that asked him to carry on.

Yeah, I think it might be my cervix. I'm not really into oral sex, so thats not really an option.

I wonder if there is some form of medication, or a special type of lube or something?

Yeah, there may have been a BIT of boasting in the excess details Grin I have a new boyfriend after years of being told I was unattractive and shouted at and pressurised into things I didn't want. Someone who will gve me what I want and has actual arrangements for how I can stop him if I'm not happy is a novelty [grim]

But this IS a real problem...

OP posts:
GatoradeMeBitch · 23/10/2013 23:49

Tell him to get a manicure or file his nails. And sorry, he sounds crap in bed OP. Huge penis, and he uses it like he's drilling a hole in the road? Erk. The only thing I can suggest is loads of foreplay (on you, not him), lube, and maybe a safety word so even if you're laughing for whatever reason you can still get across to him that he may be injuring you and needs to stop.

HerdyHerdwick · 23/10/2013 23:52

A long penis can certainly bang against your cervix during sex.
A considerate lover learns which positions don't work at all, and he learns to NOT thrust his whole length, even when he's about to have an orgasm. When he's experienced he KNOWS this. So him finding it funny, he's behaving like a twat.

If you're bleeding you should see a GP.

reelingintheyears · 24/10/2013 01:13

OH good grief.

GOODNIGHT

LividofLondon · 24/10/2013 03:40

Words I'm getting the impression that you enjoy the sex at the time, perhaps even egging him on, but the aftermath isn't so good? If that's the case then you need to make a decision; either you continue to enjoy it for what it is, or you decide you don't want to be in pain and you stop him injuring you. It's up to you. But you should not be bleeding, so best to get checked at the GUM clinic. If he's scratching your vagina with his nails then he isn't a skillful lover either. Short and smooth filed nails is a basic requirement and he should know that.

StupidMistakes · 24/10/2013 04:16

CONFESSION, the last person I had sex with made me bleed too, he is also lovely in every other way, caring, gentle, sweet, my type, but I bleed the next day, its a PITA to be honest, I am hoping my body will just get used to him in time, cos honestly I don't want to stop on the intimacy front

creepypenisreaper · 24/10/2013 04:34

Some sex injuries CAN be funny. Like when I smacked my front tooth on the headboard Grin. get out of jail free card

Lighten up people! But I do think that you might want to prevent the bleeding. Not fun.

Why not get a really thick cock ring to wear or something that stops him from going all the way in... I don't know if this is feasible, I haven't Googled it. And I probably won't.

Lweji · 24/10/2013 06:50

Interesting cocktail of drugs.

Hmm

One of them is used to prevent bleeding, but can increase bleeding if used more than 3 hours after surgery (cause of bleeding).

Maybe you should discuss with your GP or psychiatrist?

HairyGrotter · 24/10/2013 06:50

He sounds a sort, and you're on a shit tonne of medication...this should end well

Wishihadabs · 24/10/2013 07:16

Ahem, with the bleeding is it like a period or just a staining of your secretions IYSWIM ? If the former thats definitely not right and needs to be checked out. Actually scrap that, bleeding after sex can be the only symptom of chalmydia, so you need a trip to a gum clinic (both of you). I am hoping you are practicing safe sex given his wide and varied experience.

Grennie · 24/10/2013 07:31

If you are bleeding from sex, then stop what you are both doing. Your body should not have to get used to it. You do not have to have penetrative sex at all. There are lots of ways to give each other sexual pleasure. A loving and skilful lover would know that.

NumptyNameChange · 24/10/2013 07:43

so a complete slapper of a guy who has a large cock but years and years of an active sex life hasn't taught him to not bash away at a woman's cervix with it is shagging someone on a shit ton of medication whose just come out of an abusive marriage.

yeah - i'm sure the 'how to stop bleeding after sex' is the main concern in this one right? Hmm

twoboysundertwo · 24/10/2013 07:46

my husband is... ahem 'well endowed' and I used to bleed. still do sometimes if it gets a bit rough and ready. also bruising.
not complaining thoughWink

LineRunner · 24/10/2013 07:49

Well this is nice.

Grennie · 24/10/2013 07:59

Yes, if this is true, and I have my doubts, then you really would be better off not being in a relationship at all at the moment. Talk to your psychiatrist, CPN or GP for sources of emotional support. Many abusive men choose women with mental health problems who they see as more vulnerable and easily manipulated.

Grennie · 24/10/2013 08:00

twoboys - You should be complaining.

PervCat · 24/10/2013 08:04

Medication worries me too.
He sounds vile

Grennie · 24/10/2013 08:06

No woman should be getting bruised or bleeding from sex. Sex is supposed to be mutually enjoyable, and in a relationship, an expression of love.

BoyMeetsWorld · 24/10/2013 08:06

This is all a bit disturbing but each to their own. Can I just point out though that vaginal bleeding can be a sign of other issues too, like STDs (possible with his 'repetoire' of partners) & cervical disease. Maybe you should talk to your GP

eurochick · 24/10/2013 08:09

I've bled a little with most partners I have been with. It's from the entrance rather than further in or the cervix though. I'm just quite small and often tears a bit even with men of an average size.

But I have to say the OP's situation sounds rather different and probably not the best way to recover from an abusive marriage....

twoboysundertwo · 24/10/2013 08:12

getting a bit tmi put to put minds at a bit more ease- I had stitches with DS1 & the scar tissue is quite tight so that's why I get bleeding at times if it gets abit manhandled.

Grennie · 24/10/2013 08:15

You do know penetrative sex isn't compulsory? There are other ways of having sex?

And you do know you are supposed to enjoy sex?

holstenlips · 24/10/2013 08:20

Any bleeding during or after sex needs investigating with GP (I have had cancer)
Secondly I worry for you and hope you seek some support because this situation doesnt sound very good for you (I have had mental health issues)

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