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Original poster

I feel soooooo embarrassed and stupid!!

52 replies

ggg123 · 23/10/2013 11:47

I have done something I feel that is sooooo embarrassing. I am a 36 year old newly divorced mum who doesnt go out that often but the last time I did I kissed a guy 10 years younger than me whilst in the pub and outside waiting for the taxi, I feel so embarrassed with myself, its what teenagers do isnt it? Anyway I put it behind me as a mistake, told myself to grow up. Anyway a guy I like alot, alot alot has become single. Hes very polite, sensible, lovely, caring, all the things I would like in a man. Seen him out a few times (soba) anyway I spot him on a dating site Im on so I mail him. He mails me back and mentions he seen me out with a guy a few weeks back and described the guy Im with. Oh god how embarrassing. I feel soooooo stupid!! I guess I need some support from here cos its made me actually deactivate my account. :(

OP posts:
fieldfare · 23/10/2013 11:49

Don't be daft, if you like him then email him and ask to go out for a coffee.

Xenadog · 23/10/2013 11:52

Calm down! You are an adult and allowed to kiss whomever you like. You don't need to explain or justify yourself. As for the guy who you do like - so what if he saw you out and about with another man? It means that other guys see you as desirable so he needs to buck his ideas up and ask you out!

Now reactivate your account and continue to chatting to the guy you like!

Original poster
ggg123 · 23/10/2013 11:53

I did and he didnt respond so the coffe question. He just asked how I was, he was being polite. Then he said he had seen me with this guy, so now Im assuming he seen me kissing him, Im so embarrassed if he did cos its not me at all!! I was stupid!

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 23/10/2013 11:53

OMG - that is nothing!!! Seriously.
Try 20+ years younger and I didn't feel one ounce of shame.
I was single, not like it was a 1 night stand just a snog!
I did it a lot when I first found my freedom.
Younger blokes seem to like 'women' that look after themselves. Nothing wrong with that.
Get back on there and ask him out for a coffee!
Don't feel embarrassed - millions of women have done much worse than kiss a younger man!
Good on ya!

Original poster
ggg123 · 23/10/2013 11:54

Really Xenadog?? You dont think he was thinking oh my god not classy at all!!

OP posts:
Original poster
ggg123 · 23/10/2013 11:59

Really hellsbells? Thats good to hear. Its all new to me being single again and it does seem like the pubs are full of younger guys. I was slightly drunk well very drunk :) Ok maybe Im over thinking it! I just couldnt imagine him doing it for one second

OP posts:
Pawprint · 23/10/2013 12:04

I wouldn't worry about it. You are free and single and you were having a bit of drunken fun. As for the guy online, I think it was a bit cheeky of him to mention it, tbh!

hellsbellsmelons · 23/10/2013 12:08

Yes you are over thinking it.
Get out there and enjoy the single life before you start dating again.
I can highly recommend it! Wink
And if you do want to persue it with this other guy then maybe an email back - saying - 'Yes, slightly embarrassing - don't think I'll be drinking that much again any time soon.' Or words to that effect.

Original poster
ggg123 · 23/10/2013 12:13

I did wonder why he mentioned it, he commented on his wild hair so made a point of that. I did say I was detoxing so wont be drinking for a while.

Im not very good at it though hellsbells, it all feels too strange :(

OP posts:
Mumof3girlys · 23/10/2013 12:24

So who cares who you kissed just respond saying yeah had a night not with a guy! Your on a dating site so of course you would be dating and that usually ends in a goodnight/ thank you kiss!!!

You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince!!!!

Just have fun, chat, date and go with the flue that's what dating is about, I spend 2 years on a dating site in fact that's where I meet my current DP of 2 years xxx

gamerchick · 23/10/2013 12:27

Ahh it's only a snog. . It's not as if he was rodgering you up an ally was it?

Nothing to be embarrassed about, stop being so hard on yourself.

Original poster
ggg123 · 23/10/2013 12:29

Ok thanks Mumof3 :)

Feel a bit better already. I over analyse sometimes. I have deactivated my account, been on there 3 months and havnt had any response and when I saw him on there I thought oh my god Im gonna turn into a net stalker. I really like him and dont wanna be driving myself nuts on there. Its too late now its deactivated but to be honest I was ready to come off its not making me feel too good. Thanks all for making me feel better :)

OP posts:
LineRunner · 23/10/2013 12:42

I think if I mentioned to a man (in a similar context) that I had seen him with a woman I would really be trying to find out who she was and if they were an item.

hellsbellsmelons · 23/10/2013 13:07

Yes Linerunner that's exactly it!

YoniMatopoeia · 23/10/2013 13:21

I think he's digging to see what your relationship is with wildhair.

Original poster
ggg123 · 23/10/2013 14:39

Its too late now Iv deactivated my account. I mailed him lastnight and he had logged in twice, last night and this morning and not emailed me back, Im thinking he answered my mail to be polite as we are friends. Also he had seen me on there first and not messaged me, it was me who messaged first.
Honestly if I would of stayed on there I would of been checking and then checking again then wondering why he hasnt mailed me back, I would of depressed myself. Im not good at dating.

OP posts:
LineRunner · 23/10/2013 14:46

Yes, but you didn't say that the guy was just a date that you chose not to see again.

Original poster
ggg123 · 23/10/2013 14:53

Me being on the site would tell him Im still dating. I also mentioned a coffee.

OP posts:
younglove · 23/10/2013 15:01

Ooh I'm worried you've been too rash in de-activating there. I agree with LineRunner, my first thought was that he is interested in you and trying to find out whether you like Wildhair.

Anyhow, if you're already friends aside from the dating site presumably you will have a chance to chat in an informal meet-up soon. Have a bit of a flirt with him next time you see him, please!!

Original poster
ggg123 · 23/10/2013 15:08

I was thinking of reactivating but after seeing him I knew Id turn into a stalker. When I say I like him its near an obsession (ok not that bad) really really like him. Iv always known him to be married so when I see him its just chit chat, kind of a fantasy really (unavailable) so safe. When I say friends only through meeting out. I dont see him a great deal. Thanks for your advice though :)

OP posts:
higgle · 23/10/2013 15:14

There is nothing more delicious than a snog in a car park - 10 years younger is nothing.

JeanSeberg · 23/10/2013 15:22

Me being on the site would tell him Im still dating

You've obviously not been on the dating sites I've been on...

Start a new account if you can't re-activate the old one, gives you an excuse to message him again. If he asks why, just say it was due to unwanted attention. And say "So you never replied to my message about going for a drink some time, you up for it now we're both single?"

What's the worst that can happen?

Piffalato · 23/10/2013 17:46

I agree, he was asking to see if you were dating wildhair. Go with JeanSeberg's idea.

Original poster
ggg123 · 23/10/2013 17:49

Aw I cant, I paid for 6 months and deactivated after 3, it would be such a waste of money to go back on to most probably be rejected by him. I wasnt getting any luck on there anyway. Also I would stalk him and wonder what she has that I dont :( I sound so sad dont I? I just never wanna get hurt again. Its taken too long to get over my marriage break up. I have huge barriers but its the only way I can stay focussed. I will stop waffling now, I sound crazy but Im better not knowing if he would or would not reject me, its easier. Thanks all :)

OP posts:
Piffalato · 23/10/2013 17:52

In that case it sounds like you're probably not ready for a relationship, so better not to waste a potential opportunity with 'Mr Perfect'. Ah well, bad timing.