Drunken husband

[maybeknot]

Hello I have been married 30 odd years married very young lots of ups and downs.
Over the last few years my DH has been drinking more and more only at weekends but he keeps embarrassing me on social occasions. I have made him just drink beer but last weekend at friends house he got really drunk again and embarrassed me.

He chats up woman in a drunken way which is hideous he falls over he decides he is dying, he gets belligerent, its so awful. I can never see my sister as he threw up all over their house a while back.
He says he loves me and respects me but how can he?

I have threatened to leave him and he always promises to never do it again but then after a few months it happens again.
My friends say its harmless but i’m so fed up with it. I thought we would grow old (er) together but now i’m not so sure.

I dont know how to handle it anymore

Sorry stick - I was referring to tendency of people to minimise problems in themselves that they would consider major issues in other people.

And OP - you do totally deserve some peace. For eg - it's 10am on a Sat morning. I am having coffee and a late breakfast. My DD is doing her homework. No one is stropping about the place because they drank too much and have a sore head or are jittering about trying to find excuses to go out so they can go past the pub and get a quick pint in. It's so restful.

I too met my ex when I was very young (although he wasn't) and I think that really added to the difficulty when trying to leave.

It's death by a thousand small disappointments really. I so hope you can find a way out if you want one. Or a resolution. My situation felt utterly impossible but I managed it. I bet you can too. x

I guess deep down i’m scared to make the break.
But something is changing in me and i feel more and more resentful and i don’t just want to settle for this type of life

Have found out where local al non is held. So I am going to try that.

Beginning to think h does not love me .

Stop threatening to leave him if you don't intend to do exactly that. When you say it, he doesn't believe you because you've said it times many and did nothing. So the threat has no power because he knows you have no intention of following through.

I think al anon is a good idea. You can't force him to change but you can change yourself. Perhaps with support for yourself, you will decide that you actually don't want to be part of this any more.

Good luck. x

I know it true. The threat has lost it's power it when I say it I do mean it.

In that moment, maybe, but you don't really mean it or you wouldn't still be there.

I can relate. Or at least I think I can. I used to do the same thing. But in my case, what I wanted was him to drop to his knees and say he'd do anything to keep me because he couldn't live without me. But I had no intention of actually leaving. I just wanted him to want to change because he was so scared of losing me.

But the truth is that they very rarely are. Often they don't think you'll actually leave unless you do.

It's funny that saying LTB is the easiest thing in the world to say but one of the hardest things to do.

Try reading ' more about alcoholism ', and ' to wives '
In the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
You can view it free on line through their website.

Let us know how you get in at Al-Anon.
Keep posting

Get ON!
Pretty sure you will get in ;)

Sigh to LTB ,,it is the hardest thing to do

thank you JackDanny