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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How would you feel if your DH did this?

87 replies

howwouldyoufeelaboutthis · 18/10/2013 10:13

Last night DH and I were in the kitchen, getting ready to go up to bed.

I took a bottle of water with me, he filled a pint glass with water.

I walked out of the kitchen and as I was going down the hallway DH threw the contents of his glass at my retreating back, all over my hair, all down my back and all over the floor.

We hadn't been arguing or play fighting or anything like that beforehand, it just came out of nowhere.

He thought it was a joke and funny.

How would you feel if your DH did this to you?

OP posts:
TheDietStartsTomorrow · 18/10/2013 11:58

More than anything, if he did that out of the blue I'd seriously question his sanity. He seems to have mental issues. Is it possible he's got some underlying mental health problem?

TalkingintheDark · 18/10/2013 12:02

OP, how did you feel when your "D"H did this to you? That's what really matters. I'll bet he's tried to make out your feelings were unreasonable and out of proportion. I'll bet they weren't.

stowsettler · 18/10/2013 12:05

pictish wrote exactly what I was thinking.

This sounds all kinds of sinister.

KCumberSandwich · 18/10/2013 12:07

Maybe i am missing something here or maybe i just have a childish sense of humour but i would have seen it as the start of a war and squirted him back. as much as i'd be pissed off at having to dry my hair and get changed when i was ready for bed i think i'd have seen the funny side and definitely would have got him back.

i seem to be in the minority though and if you think this was unusual behaviour and are not usually the sort of couple who annoy each other for fun then ibsee why it would be seen as lack of respect. what was your reaction? has he apologised? if it has upset you you need to tell him and make him listen.

Tweetypie27 · 18/10/2013 12:08

My ex did that to me after I had a miscarriage and was sat in the bath he filled a glass up in the bathroom sick and threw cold water at me as a joke I just burst into tears actually forgot about that till this thread another reminder of why I hate his guts.
I don't know what to think maybe it was a joke but I also think it's a way to belittle someone and I wouldn't take kindly to it

quirrelquarrel · 18/10/2013 12:15

I'd go and change and not talk to him until I felt like it. Not the silent treatment or anything. But I wouldn't be a good egg about it.

Itstartshere · 18/10/2013 12:15

Tweetypie Sad That's awful.

OP I would be utterly dismayed and humiliated.

KillerKoalaFaceFromSpace · 18/10/2013 12:22

Tweetypie Sad I'm glad to see he's ex.

How are you feeling about it now OP?

StElmo · 18/10/2013 12:36

Wow you people are boring. If my husband did this I'd assume he wanted me out of my clothes Wink
I think it's really funny.

ElizabethBathory · 18/10/2013 12:44

Hmm, I don't know StElmo...if it had been some gentle splashing out of the glass or there'd at least been some teasing beforehand, maybe it could be seen as playful. But a whole pint of cold water at her back? Don't see it... I've had plenty of water fights with my DH but it always starts with splashing and builds up from there. It's never whole pints out of the blue!

KillerKoalaFaceFromSpace · 18/10/2013 12:45

Oh gosh StElmo how fun and sexy you are. All of our poor DHs eh? Having such "boring" wives who don't get turned on or find it funny to be hit with a pint of cold water down our backs.

Mabelface · 18/10/2013 12:46

I'm far from boring! If we'd been messing about beforehand, it would be different, but this was cold and calculated.

Mabelface · 18/10/2013 12:46

And what Killerkoala said.

JoinYourPlayfellows · 18/10/2013 12:46

Yes, throwing a glass of cold water over somebody is a well-known seduction technique Hmm

VoiceofRaisin · 18/10/2013 12:48

I would think he was ill. How has your DP been behaving otherwise?

lizzzyyliveson · 18/10/2013 12:50

OP, I hope you are drawing strength from the outrage most people on this thread are feeling for you. You did nothing wrong and he should be ashamed of himself.

ManAliveThisThingsFantastic · 18/10/2013 12:51

It's nasty and a rotten thing to do, not funny at all!

I imagine you'd have to start drying your hair, face and changing out of your wet nightwear. All things you want to do just as you're about to get into bed Halloween Hmm.

Topseyt · 18/10/2013 14:03

In the context you describe, I would find it insulting and not remotely funny.

It is hardly as if you were out in the garden on a warm summer's day larking about having a water fight. It is October, you were indoors late at night and were virtually ready for bed.

Evict him from the bedroom to sleep on the sofa until further notice.

StElmo · 18/10/2013 14:13

No need to be a dick, killerkoala, I was just giving my opinion. If it were me I'd find it funny.
Some posters are suggesting the OP's husband is insane and then suggesting she punches him, because punching your spouse is completely sane, balanced behaviour.

KillerKoalaFaceFromSpace · 18/10/2013 14:36

StElmo Your opinion is that those of us who didn't find it funny were boring. So I gave my opinion of your comment.

pictish · 18/10/2013 15:05

Yes, throwing a glass of cold water over somebody is a well-known seduction technique Hmm

I did just snort at that. The ridiculousness of it.

Wow StElmo you fun, sexy biatch...you tell it like it is girl!

Hmm
EldritchCleavage · 18/10/2013 15:08

StElmo, I can see that in the context of your relationship it would be much more likely your DH was creating a bit of a wet T-shirt competition for your mutual enjoyment, but given the respect issue in the OP I suspect her context is much darker and less happy.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 18/10/2013 15:24

In the summer I'd probably find it funny, but this time of year I'd have a sense of humour by-pass over it and that would be in context of a loving relationship where I'd know that it would never be done in a nasty way.

To me, it sounds like your relationship isn't a happy one and this does sound nasty and a way of putting you in your place :(

BillyBanter · 18/10/2013 15:27

I think it's a reaction to your talk from the other day...

hellsbellsmelons · 18/10/2013 15:30

I agree with pictish and attila
Re-read their posts.
Bet it all rings a bit true.

It my OH had done that to me - my reflex reaction would probably be to punch him in the face if I wasn't too shocked. I've never been violent but that kind of thing paves the way for reflex and that is horrible!
If you have the guts tonight - I would wait until he's asleep as pour some water over his head - this is now a power struggle and you do not want to give up without a fight - IMHO!