How would you feel if your DH did this?

[howwouldyoufeelaboutthis]

Last night DH and I were in the kitchen, getting ready to go up to bed.

I took a bottle of water with me, he filled a pint glass with water.

I walked out of the kitchen and as I was going down the hallway DH threw the contents of his glass at my retreating back, all over my hair, all down my back and all over the floor.

We hadn't been arguing or play fighting or anything like that beforehand, it just came out of nowhere.

He thought it was a joke and funny.

How would you feel if your DH did this to you?

Dh and I muck about but what you've described is really odd. I would worry be bad no control over impulses and/or that he harboured violent thoughts towards me. I would be questioning his meNtal health, as bit a usual way to behave at all.

I'd worry that he was having some sort of personality- altering episode. It would be utterly bizarre and out of character for my DH (and I'd imagine for most people) to do something like this. Is it out of character for your DH to play nasty 'jokes' on you? If not then perhaps you need to consider some wider issues within your relationship.

BTW in some instances verbal abuse is often disguised as a 'joke' or 'fun'.
Maybe actions like this also come under the same category.....because abuse is something you hadn't asked for or wanted and that gives distress.

I would go ballistic. What a knob.

There was another thread recently about someone's DP hiding in the dark and leaping out at them to scare them. That was a crappy thing to do the same way this was a crappy thing to do. It's not loving or fun or 'a joke'.... it's just cruel and pointless.

I would go ballistic. What a knob.

Good grief! How would I feel if my dh did this? I would have to consider the possibility that his body had been taken over by aliens it would be so out of character.

High spirits??? If he's over 12, high spirits do not account for that.
Gobshite.

Hmm I guess it would depend. I'd be pretty annoyed but might accept he had momentarily had an issue with impulse control, especially if he was apologetic. Like occasionally I have had urges to do stuff like that to people. Once I nearly threw a glass of water at my son, I wasn't angry and nor do I disrespect him..for some reason my ultra childish head thought it might be funny.

Mind you I didn't actually do it! As I knew it would upset him and be a weird thing to do out of the blue....

Shocked, bewildered and upset is how I would feel. If you have a general feeling that he doesn't respect you, doing something like that is a very bad sign. Is he into practical jokes generally? It's a pretty shitty thing to do to someone you're having an argument with, let alone to someone you love who is innocently walking up to bed.

Not a joke at all, but some repressed hostility making itself known. I would actually be rather concerned.

I think its quite an odd thing to do just out of the blue.

Not remotely funny.

More like a nasty act of contempt.

I actually view this as being quite sinister.

The OP tells us that they had a conversation a few days ago regarding his lack of respect for her. Then he does this. I think he is letting her know that he cares not one jot for her request to be treated with respect...that he will decide what she will and will not tolerate, thank you very much...and this 'joke' very much compounds that.
If OP dares to complain, it will be her fault - she is uptight, can't take a joke, is too sensitive, reads too much into it, is looking for things to get upset about etc etc...
He might even get all self righteously angry that she dare be offended!

All of this tells her that her place is to accept whatever he deigns to throw at her, be it a pint of water, or just a general lack of manners or consideration.

He has just had the final word in their lack-of-respect conversation. And his final word is fuck you...I'M in charge.

Would be very interested to hear what the relationship is like generally, because I'm willing to bet it isn't good.

I don't think it's as strange as some people obviously do I sort of get how in the moment you might think it's funny? I remember my friend throwing a cup of tea over me 'for a laugh'. Mind you we were only 14..... (and that wasn't funny either.)

Very much depends on the context i.e. that you don't feel he respects you.

(I don't think the jumping out in the dark is cruel thing to do though at all! DP and I do this sometimes (an extension of doing it with the children I suppose) but we are obviously juvenile enough to find it amusing!

How old is he; 6?

What Pictish said.

If a partner did that to me I'd be devastated. I wouldn't take it as a joke and I wouldn't accept that it was meant as a joke because anyone who knows me knows I would not find it amusing. I also think it's massively disrespectful and intentionally so.

I think this is really nasty, I would have been very upset indeed!

Very worrying sign, especially in light of your respect conversation...

My gut reaction was he did it for the moment of shock and humiliation, as you stood there soaking wet through. Horrible undertones.

What else has happened that you don't feel he respects you?

Yes, you obviously are, nosey

well said pictish.

Do you have children together?

I would have literally killed him on the spot. How bloody rude of him.

OP how did you DH react afterwards? Did he still think it was funny when you were obviously upset/annoyed? Or was he contrite?

Does his reaction change things? People do sometimes misjudge it and do ridiculous, stupid things but you would hope that they were very apologetic once they realised they had got it wrong.

He thought it was both a joke and funny - I bet you were not laughing and if you did that to him, he would likely see red.

What do you get out of this relationship now?. What is keeping you within this now?. This smacks of power and control; he wants to humiliate you.

He would have got punched, what a stupid thing to do to someone, what a twat.