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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this "normal"

37 replies

Redtartanshoes · 14/10/2013 22:35

Massive back story and lots of crap but basically...

What would you think if dp/h took his goon to the toilet, is standing having a piss.. You push door open (to take washing off radiator) and he jumps a mile (phone in hand but then turned into leg)

Initial thoughts?

OP posts:
Dirtybadger · 14/10/2013 22:37

I'd think he was taking a picture of his squirrel. Probably to send to someone online or similar...not for his own amusement :/

FuckyNellItsHalloween · 14/10/2013 22:39

He's doing something he doesn't want you to know about. Could he be planning a surprise for you?

Redtartanshoes · 14/10/2013 22:40

I think he was texting but then "I'm paranoid" Hmm

OP posts:
Redtartanshoes · 14/10/2013 22:41

He had an affair for 9 months... That was about the only surprise he has ever given me (((hollow laugh))))

OP posts:
ScaryFucker · 14/10/2013 22:43

I think you should listen to your instincts

hashtagwhatever · 14/10/2013 22:44

taking a pic of the dongalers?

Looking up porn.

both bit odd mid piss though?

mammadiggingdeep · 14/10/2013 22:45

Uh oh.......listen to your gut instincts.

Was he defo having a wee....wasn't looking at porn and having a sly wank??

JoinYourPlayfellows · 14/10/2013 22:46

He already had an affair.

That means if you are not happy that he is being totally honest you can ask him to go without even a tinge of guilt.

Redtartanshoes · 14/10/2013 22:47

Defo wee.

Couldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.

Have had enough. He's made me paranoid. I am constantly looking fir "clues"

Confused
OP posts:
mammadiggingdeep · 14/10/2013 22:49

Did you ask to see the phone?? How long ago was the affair??

Redtartanshoes · 14/10/2013 22:51

Have asked to see phone before... Always "if you need to check on me then we don't have a future type crap"

OP posts:
ScaryFucker · 14/10/2013 22:54

Is this meant to be him trying to patch up your relationship ?

he is shit at it

I don't blame you if you think you have had enough of this shit

mammadiggingdeep · 14/10/2013 22:56

Yes.... I got that shite...along with "who are you, the phone police?". Idiot. He was cheating, obviously.

Play fellows is right...you don't need evidence, you can just walk away. You can't live like this. Did he try to reassure you after the affair? Did his behaviour change for the better? Has he tried to put it right or do you feel not much has changed.

Have you considered what you want to do next?

JoinYourPlayfellows · 14/10/2013 22:57

"if you need to check on me then we don't have a future type crap"

Why didn't you tell him that you didn't have a future when he said that?

He had an affair and then threatened to leave you if you didn't let him continue his affair? Confused

Venushasrisen · 14/10/2013 23:00

Looking for porn pic ready for a quick wank.

Venushasrisen · 14/10/2013 23:02

Oops, see this has already been suggested.

Custardo · 14/10/2013 23:04

not quite seeing why you have given him the power and he isn't crawling like a dog promising to bite off his own dick if you'll only forgive him

you know hes a dick - why put yourself through it

who needs the fucking drama day in day out?

Hatpin · 14/10/2013 23:06

So he's an unremorseful cheat and a bully.

Surely life without him looks better than this?

Redtartanshoes · 14/10/2013 23:08

You are all right.

Confused

Tomorrow is the day.

OP posts:
ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 14/10/2013 23:10

'If you need to text while hiding in the bathroom, we probadon't have a relationship worth having anyway Hmm - hand the phone over'

Or, love, just save yourself further years of heartache and LTB. Your life will be so much happier. You are not 'paranoid' he is a cheating bastard.

hashtagwhatever · 14/10/2013 23:11

you deserve better.

be strong.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 14/10/2013 23:11

Be strong, you can do it. You will look back and wonder why you didn't do it sooner.

BonzoDooDah · 14/10/2013 23:12

Good luck, be strong - don't let him fob you off if you know you're right.

mammadiggingdeep · 14/10/2013 23:15

Be strong.
Good luck x

PieceOfTheMoon · 14/10/2013 23:16

You only get one life, don't waste any more of it being miserable with this tosser. You really really do deserve much better. So sorry you're going through this.