Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Sorry fb issue

63 replies

Flojobunny · 12/10/2013 17:44

Would you be annoyed if someone you really liked contacted your closest friend on fb? Even if it was to plan a surprise.

OP posts:
mammadiggingdeep · 12/10/2013 18:27

Don't think I'di mind after a few months. I do know people who probably would mind though. Don't think he should be making you feel bad over it. Your intention was obviously good. He sounds hard work maybe??

Original poster
Flojobunny · 12/10/2013 18:33

Perhaps he was already looking for a reason to end it.

OP posts:
JaceyBee · 12/10/2013 18:42

I think it would make me feel like it was a bit intrusive? But then I'm a total commitment phobe who likes to compartmentalise my social life and sex life. Maybe this guy is too? It was a bit mean of him to make you feel like shut for it though, I don't think I'd react that strongly.

JaceyBee · 12/10/2013 18:43

Like shit I mean.

Original poster
Flojobunny · 12/10/2013 18:49

Yeah he knows I've had a crappy time of it lately with DD being scarily ill. I had hoped this one was different and would be gentle with my fragile confidence but surely it shouldn't be on/off this soon, let alone ever.

OP posts:
mammadiggingdeep · 12/10/2013 19:00

Yeah, not a good sign. You can do better (and deserve better). Nexxxxt!!!

Original poster
Flojobunny · 12/10/2013 19:02

If only it was ever that simple!

OP posts:
mammadiggingdeep · 12/10/2013 19:07

I know...didn't mean to be flippant. You've got to take notice of the red flags though my lovely. I will be if I ever decide to dip my toe in the dating world again. You can't get yourself lumbered with a twunt.

ChasedByBees · 12/10/2013 19:09

I'd ditch him.

ihearsounds · 12/10/2013 19:10

a couple of months, is that it?

Tbh, if my partner had tried this after a couple of months I would have told him to do one. Still a new relationship and all that. Even if the three little words was used. I have used them myself to get him into bed in the early days.

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 12/10/2013 19:18

How strange. Even if he did think it was a bit full on, why get angry? Hmm

gamerchick · 12/10/2013 19:20

Seriously.. take it from somebody who's long in the tooth. It's not worth it.

Man I've been with my dude 4 years and we're still into the wanting to climb into each other stage.

Tell him to jog on..you and your bairn are worth better.

SalmonellaDeGhoul · 12/10/2013 19:24

Early declarations of love are a sign of an abuser. This one isn't a keeper.

FreeWee · 12/10/2013 19:26

I did the same with my DH for a big birthday surprise and he was over the moon so many of his friends came. Sorry but he was 'angry'? What exactly was he angry about? Angry that you invited his friend to a surprise event for his birthday? But that's all about him. That's doing something nice for him Why would that make him 'angry'. He sounds like a bit of a tool I'm afraid.

Hissy · 12/10/2013 20:32

Run like the fucking wind love!

Sorry :(

KatieScarlett2833 · 12/10/2013 20:46

Angry you wanted to plan something special for his birthday including a close mate?
Bin the twat.

Original poster
Flojobunny · 12/10/2013 22:03

Well he's supposed to be here at 12.30am since we have plans in the morning so I guess if he isn't here by first thing in morning then there's no way it's going to be sorted out. DC are expecting him, if he lets them down I won't ever forgive him.

OP posts:
AcidNails · 12/10/2013 22:41

I suppose it would depend. If DH knew my friend already then I'd be pleased. If they'd never met then I'd be fucked off after just a couple of months. I value and fiercely guard my privacy, and would hate to feel as though someone was trying to control bits of my life, which I would in that scenario.

Spelt · 12/10/2013 22:43

I would be a bit dubious if someone I'd been seeing a few months started contacting my friends behind my back, I would think they were trying to worm their way too far into my life and it would creep me out.

However I wouldn't get angry about it, it would just make me go Hmm, and take half a step backwards.

Be thankful he's shown his true colours now and not later.

Spelt · 12/10/2013 22:47

If you put up with this over reaction then he knows he has you where he wants you. And yes to early declarations of love being a red flag.

Sparklysilversequins · 12/10/2013 22:48

Why are your dc "expecting" him after only a couple of months? Why is it at that level already?

Personally I think he sounds like an arse but I am not sure how I would feel about someone I wasn't that serious with making contact with my friends. I would think it was pushy. Have you met them?

There are ways to approach it though and getting all puffed up the way it sounds like he has is not acceptable.

anon2013 · 12/10/2013 22:50

run for the hills

Original poster
Flojobunny · 12/10/2013 23:58

He's deleted me off Facebook.
My DC were expecting him because we have done the same routine every Sunday for the past 3.

OP posts:
Spelt · 13/10/2013 00:01

Clearly he wasn't right for you. Big rows over not much early on? Dumping you via Facebook? Bellend.

Spelt · 13/10/2013 00:04

I would keep it breezy with your kids - it really shouldn't be that big a deal. He's not massively let them down, he's not their dad. They will only be really upset if they sense that you are.