An I being fair to say this?

[workwhatwork]

I've told my boyfriend its over, there is a long, long history of him treating me like absolute shit, he's made no commitment in nearly 5 years of being together, he lies almost for sport.

I've explained in length my reasons for wanting to end it, he's made no attempt to put anything right, just keeps saying he can't accept it, we had plans for the weekend, but he's not actually addressing any of the things that I'm deeply unhappy about.

I've told him to let me know when he would like to collect his things and I will bag them up, leave them outside and make sure I'm not in. He says I'm being unfair, why should he have to collect them, I should post them.
I don't particularly see why I should pay ££ to post his crap when he could quite easily collect it. Besides I can't imagine he's too bothered about the few old t shirts he's left, as he makes sure he never leaves anything he cares about at mine. I've said if he doesn't arrange to collect it by next week I will bin it as I don't want it hanging over my head for the next month.

I haven't bothered to list all of the stunts he's pulled over the years but I've had a few threads on here over the last few months and I don't think anyone would say I'm not justified in breaking up, I've tried to ring him to speak but he just ignores me.

Send it back with a note saying :

Here's your stuff
Don't phone - I've blocked you. Leave me alone.
I've woken up to the fact that you are a selfish dick.
I have wasted enough time on you.
Goodbye.

Give the crap to the nearest charity shop and tell him where so he can buy it back if he wants it.

One last text.

Your stuff is in a plastic bag outside the door. If it is still there Monday it is going in the bin. This is not at all reflective of whether I 'mean it' or not (I do), simply that you aren't worth wasting postage on. Don't contact me again - whatever it is you have to say, I don't want to hear it. Good-bye

and mean it.

Also spend this evening writing a bullet pointed list of all the disgusting ways he has treated you over the years.

Put it away and refer to if you ever doubt the rights and wrongs. The messing with your head is, as you well know, part of his game.

As before, block his number then get another list going of all the nice things you can plan now you've dumped this waste of air. Don't look back.xx

I can't honestly answer that strawberry, the usual story probably, when he's nice he's really nice, I give him the benefit of the doubt way too much and listen to his excuses and blaming me.

And you're all right there's no point faffing about over what to do with his stuff I've told him so now I either post it or bin it.

Workwhatwork

I hope you move on because you deserve to.

If I remember correctly, he's the one who picks his bum in the bath and gives you UTI's isn't he?

Post the stuff, what you spend on postage, you'll save on prescriptions

Just post it and be done with it.

He won't have any reason to have any more contact with you and you can draw a line under the whole thing.

Best of luck!

Thing is OP you don't stand a cat in jells chance of meeting the one you deserve when you are still with this bell-end.

He is never going to be the man you want him to be. Yes you might be able to twist his arm into marriage with threats and ultimatums. You might also be able to trick him into fatherhood. But unless he actively wants these things he will never wholly be committed to either.

You could wind up in 10 years time in a very unhappy relationship with someone who rarely sees his DC and if you dare pull him on it will throw the whole lot in your face and say 'well this is what you wanted isn't it? I said I didn't want to get married' etc etc. just miserable.

Let him go, get yourself on countless dating websites or out with your friends in bars etc and date, just throw yourself into being single and DATE!!! You won't have time to miss your ex and before you know it you'll be in another relationship.

I decided to do the American thing of dating a few guys at the same time and it was ace. Then I found the guy I wanted to be with and the rest is history

I remember being really upset after falling out permanently with an ex-friend of mine a few years back. I was talking about it, crying about it actually, with a mutual friend of ours. This mutual friend interrupted me about 3 minutes in and said "Cakehappy, life is too short to spend with people who treat you like you're an asshole". I've never forgotten it, because this "friend" indeed treated me like I was an asshole. I dried my tears pretty quickly and never forgot what she said.

This man still holds sway over you, it's obvious. This man also treats you like you are an asshole. Don't spend time with people who don't respect you, it's a lesson in futility and makes you feel like shit.

Wake up and ACTUALLY listen to what everyone is telling you. Doing so guarantees you gaining your self respect back:) happier days await you OP. Its in your reach, you just have to take it.

I am listening, but I'm also now listening to his texts saying he doesn't know how he's going to do this, I mean so much to him, can I send him all our photos, WHY, just why?

Print copies of the photos. Put them in the bag with his residual stuff. Tell him it's there and ask him to fetch or arrange collection.

No further discussion required.

Because he likes having control over you and your emotions. And you let him. The question is why are you so easily swayed? Come on OP! Delete and avoid!

Because I've always been crap at taking control of situations whenever there's any emotion involved. I've often let people take advantage, when people aren't being good and fair I can't deal with that.

For example, there's a couple of family members who take the piss with me quite a lot, and instead of being firm I analyse why they are doing that.

I struggle with why people can't just be nice and reasonable and fair.

I think this is my downfall with relationships, I struggle to accept that some people lie, use, abuse just because.

Just chuck all his shit in the bin.

Ignore.

He wants you to pour over the photos so that you feel sad/miss him/think about the good times (no one takes a photo when someone is picking their bum in the bath do they?) so he can brow beat you into still providing the roof over his head, food/meals, sex and a target for his shitty behaviour...

He is manipulating you and you are letting him.

Stop analysing people and just accept some people are assholes. You know you do this, so stop doing it.

He's an energy zapping, cocklodging, wanker - the quicker you realise you deserve more than this the better!

You are making me cross - I might have to come and apply my steel capped boots to your arse!

Remember, this guy tells lies. You know it. It's in your OP at the top of this thread. And yet for some reason you find yourself believing him - even though you know it's not true.

You also know that if/when he's wormed his way back in on a promise of change and everlasting devotion, within approximately 5 minutes it will be "Eliza, where are my slippers" all over again (does anyone else hate that ending of what was otherwise a fabulous film?). As the saying goes, the definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.