How can I say this to my mum?

[Southernlassy]

Arrrrrrgh!
I love my mum dearly and she's very old- mid 80s- so am lucky to have her still- but we live 300 miles apart and only see each other once every few months. We talk on the phone maybe once a week or more.

Anyhoo- I work from home in the main and am usually quite busy managing my time around 2 part time jobs.
She doesn't seem to realise that I work- well, she does, but not when it comes to phoning and she quite often calls me during the day when I am in the middle of some work, often with a deadline.

Her phone number is automatically withheld so I don't know if it's her or not- it could be anyone. I sometimes don't answer if I am busy but I did today and she was wanting to chat about her shopping trip, cosmetics etc etc which is all fine BUT I am working to a deadline and have a meeting to go to later today, so I had to cut the call short.

She didn't say anything but I know she'd be hurt- and this happens quite a lot.

She doesn't give any recognition that I am working- seems to think that if I am in the house I've time to chat, rather than asking me if it's a good time etc.

I feel such a cow but on the other hand wish she'd take my work seriously and respect my 'working day'.

Is there anything I can do- other than not answer her calls- that might help her appreciate how my life is?

I've thought of the usual- 'love to chat but can't- have to get on just now' and I know she'd still take offence.

I'm not unsympathetic to the position you are in, it sounds a bit tricky.

But, but, but... you want her to have a boundary in place that she doesn't call you during work hours because you want her to respect your work...

She's not going to do that (based on past behaviour) until you respect your work and enforce the 'no personal calls while I'm working' rule by not answering the phone. It would be nice if people respected our boundaries, but sometimes they won't if we don't. If she calls you in the day and you are sometimes free to talk, then she'll assume that she can just call on the off chance that you are free and if you are free then you'll answer.

I realise that you want to be available for emergency calls but if you have it set up so you can hear the answer phone, then if it sounds like a 'serious' call you can pick it up.

I know you are anxious about her age, her loneliness and the distance, but I don't think you are being rude and there is little you can do if she thinks your reasonable work/phone rule is rude. Maybe just pre-empt
her calling by calling her when it is convient.

Well done on being a successful professional writer btw :) just tell her "I'm busy writing my next article/story/chapter" or "I need to phone my editor right now" etc, so it sounds more like writing work, hopefully it will filter into her that you do spend your time writing/admin related to writing.