Is this all ok

[Imdoingthis]

I'm struggling with reality
My children don't want to see their dad they refused today aged 12 10 6 they tell me he shouts at them hits my ten year old around back of his head, there's so much, there's a contact order in place for fri tea time - sat tea time and midweek 1 1\2 hours
My dc won't go baby cries hes two hes had bruises in two occasions I took him GP on first time second time was in six weeks hols I called my hv she said take him GP refused to visit me,
I fear when they don't go because hes screwing I just want them to go so he don't kick off [ sad]
When I was in the relationship I wanted out was with him 16 years was very young.

Yes there is an order, he took me to court to get residency of the children so theres an contact order in place.

I don't know the best person wa , wa worker SS ? I'm not sure.

He would have to go back to court to get is enforced I think. Speak to a solicitor, that'd be best.

Really sorry to hear you've had so much stress.

In a school, if a child came and said that they have been hit and don't feel safe going home, then we are obliged to call SS for an immediate intervention. We can't let them go home. You do NOT have to let them visit him - especially if you call SS as they will understand.

I'd call SS and the police if I were you.

yes he would need to take you back y too court to enforce it.
he can also phone the police, they wont come round and tear the children out of your hand or anything but the will probably visit to caution you.

Yes, call ss, ask their advice.

Ok can I call them anonymous or do I give names etc
Thank you for advise

You will need to give names so that they can legally protect you in not letting your kids have visits with him.

No, not anonymously. You need their help and they will think all the better of you for having the courage to talk to them. It will immediately show them that you have your children's best interests at heart, and that you want to protect them. They won't take the children away.

I'm actaly worried now about calling I feel so trapped in all this

What is worrying you about it?

Hello I'm. Please be really brave and don't let your fear of you ex stop you from helping your dcs. You can do this and your support is there. they will all be on your side and the only person who may want to cause you harm is your ex.

How are you feeling now?

I'm worrying about losing them, I worry about being swooped with authority's it was intense before and I'm worried about going back to that
There's a bit more to it but I'm mindful of posting all.

I feel like I need to tread carefully somehow I want to do it right I somehow wish my dc would talk to a teacher at school.
Ds 10 says he hits him but then laughs he turns everything into 'a joke' so I think my son is being tought its a joke but at ten hes not realising the effect on himself? Not sure I'm correct on that but you see their all, we are all so used to it iykwim
I hope I'm making sense

Yes, you're making sense. It's so terribly sad. Your son has normalised this mistreatment to that extent. I bet he's screaming inside and desperate for someone to say "NO! It is not all right to hit you. It is not funny and it is not a joke."

SS know what you've all been through, and they know that it doesn't just stop and that families need support for a long time after.

Please call them. They don't want to take children away if they can possibly avoid it. If you were getting regular support from them then it would help you so much, which helps your children, which ultimately helps SS.

They would also be able to report to the Court that ex is still abusing the children and that will help a lot in stopping contact altogether, or ensuring it takes place in a Contact Centre under proper supervision so he can't abuse them.

You are making a lot of sense and I understand your fears about being'swamped' and taken over by it all, but could you see that the fear that you have been living under is not real? he doesn't have to have that power over you all and if by telling ss you are saving your daughter from living as you have and your son from turning into his dad and making another womans life as hard as yours would you want to do that?
ss are there to support and help, they won't be critical of you or your family ( except ex)they will just do their best to give the support and help you want.
If you are worried about ss could you give wa a ring and discuss it all with them first?

I'm mindful that there is more you are not telling us but I think the advice stands. The worst thing for you would be if your son told a teacher because you'd have all the ss involvement but it would be suspicious of you as well. If you take the initiative to call and you tell them everything, even things you may have done or covered for him they should be supportive of you for wanting to do the best for the dc.

how did you get on today?