Please help! I'm admitting defeat now. It's won!

[BimboJimbo]

I've been suffering with anxiety and panic attacks for a year but now it's crippling me.
It's taken over. I can't fight it anymore.
Im sitting here dizzy and faint, don't feel like I'm in reality. I can't go out. I have no energy.
This has won.
I can't see a way of getting out of this.
I think I need help! Im going mad aren't I?
No one here to help!
I have two DC to look after!

Could your dad come and get you and dcs when your mum has her op? Helping to look after her while being back there, may help you relax but also get you emotional support for your feelings about your mum as you won't be the only one feeling it. Furthermore, your dcs may bring her happiness and distraction when she's feeling anxious. I know some people would think that was a mad idea so feel free to completely ignore it.

No that sounds like a great idea. Mum loves seeing the DC when she is poorly as she says it's make it better. When my nan died, my mum wanted DCs all the time, as they distracted her thoughts and cheered her up. I think I will go spend some time with DM and Df after the operation.
Have printed out the self help cbt, so thank you. Going to have a good read later. Need more printer ink now!

How are you Jimbo?

Hello, Sorry havent been about.

Ive avoided this thread as thinking about that day when I first posted, makes my stomach flip. I dont want to go back there.
My sister has been a star! I stayed at her house from sunday and came back last night! Ive even been driving! Havent really seen DH so no stress coming from there.
DD starts pre school monday!! 4 afternoons a week.
DH has been working a lot and I Havent been home much so its nice to be me again for a few days.
Im slowly starting to enjoy my own company again in the evening when he isnt here.

So everything is going ok at the moment.
BUT....
Ive had highs before and I know it could come crashing back down as fast as it went up. Trying to stay hopeful. Cant wait for CBT starts too.

Thankyou for checking back in on me :)

When you go to your mum's, would you tell your dad how your dp treats you? You don't need to have a sit down serious talk, but find out if he ever called your mum cunt? Just ask. And ask, if your mum had panic attacks driving would he insist she pick him up. And if your mum were exhausted with the kids, would he have done something to give her a break or sat there 'thinking' but coming up with "nothing, sorry".

You sound like you're doing really well in very difficult circumstances.