my husband is hiring hookers i'm pregnant with 2 kids/lyme disease

[girl123]

Found out that he is hiring hookers in hotels when he travels for work. I'm shattered, pregnant 14 weeks, and just been diagnosed with chronic lyme disease. He is saying that it was "a big mistakes", even though right before he came home 2 nights in the row he was hiring them.
I'm lost, can't sleep, eat, feeling like i have to leave him, but have no strength. He is saying it was a big mistake.
I'm attractive, 37, we were having sex (when i'm not sick), have 2 small children. I'm very scared for the future-no income, no career, live in the country where i came with him because of his work. And he is about to lose his job because of lies.

Yes, very scary. Please get all the support that you can.

Just read this thread...hope you're ok op. Nightmare for you but you will manage. you've had fantastic advice on here. Keep posting and make sure you get some RL support, love and tlc xx

If you have women's aid involvement then it will be easier to avoid mediation.

And they'll be brilliant and supportive to you.

This is what he is writing me after i wrote that he crushed me:

Not true. I made one mistake. And for 10 years I devoted my life to you and our kids despite everything you did (or didn't do) to make our relationship as difficult as possible. Don't dare to pretend this is all my fault. I gave you and our family everything I could. I don't think you cnan say the same.

Sorry it IS all his fault and don't you dare think otherwise, it doesn't bloody matter if you haven't had sex for years, NOTHING gives him the right to blame you for HIS actions, he has to face the consequences. I think he's a controlling manipulative arrogant twat, sorry but he is, the uk law works different to the American so let him crack on, make sure you get all legal papers birth Certs etc etc out of the house incl passports if you are worried he may use them to take your children out of the country.

He's clearly a bright, charming, manipulative bully who is used to getting his own way (the emails reveal that much about him).

I'd talk to a solicitor. I don't see anything wrong with going to an independent mediator either - just don't agree anything alone with him.

Just want to pop in here and say I had lyme disease while pregnant. It was very worrying but treated with ABiotics and sorted. Baby was fine--he's a big strong teenager now.

And personally I'd just roll my eyes at his suggestion it's your fault he ended up with prostitutes. Say 'yeah right poor brainless baby' then laugh a little. What a pile of crap.

Haven't read the whole thread but you don't need him. What a vile human being. Do you really want your children to grow up around and even live in the same house as this man ? He has shown you and your family such little respect. Willing to put his wife and children's home and stability at stake by risking his job for a quick dick rub. There is no way I would would even want to be anywhere near this man never mind stay with him. Hugs to you and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

Thank you all. Just worrying about being a single mom with 3 kids and sick. Very scary. Not mentioning loneliness, realization that man you loved just cheated on you all the time most likely. Not mentioning his "depression" he was playing for years, abandonment, his parents (mother)bullying me constantly-coming to my house and telling things like i have to do all the chores and wash all the dishes, just stand on my feet and "plan' Lyme disease relapses when being taken to ER with leg paralysis etc.

Going to solicitor to discuss my situation, but afraid he will screw me. He went already to one and told her that there are no assets on his side (he is lying about joint money in trusts with his rich father). I have read his emails about it. Now he is hoping "i will forgive", and i'm afraid that because of my ill health and baby on the way i will give in even knowing i can't do it.

Going to therapist next week since my mind is messed up. Thank you for advice and support.

How is your gp treating the lyme?

Just read this.

You are doing well. Hold on to independent legal advice and get as much information on his finances as possible.

Where is the money he earns going to? Prostitutes?
At least in splitting assets, he should become liable for most of it, if he's the one who's been spending.

And he's showing more of his true colours by blaming you. He has not only cheated as stolen money from his children and wife.

Surely life as a single mother can only be better than sticking it out at marriage with this shambles of a man.