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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Men who push for sex on a first date....

90 replies

superstarheartbreaker · 10/09/2013 21:36

Are idiots right? That's twice now I have broken my rule of no first date sex. Admittedly it is my fault for giving in but the hints, flattery, suggestions of driving me home combined with them being fit and me having a glass of wine all gets too much. Then of course...poof!

TBH when a guy starts pressuring me I sometimes give in as it makes me never want to see them again anyway but more often or not I feel a bit crappy about it.

Has anyone actually initiated first date sex themselves and how did it work out? (just curious) I still have that silly Rules book lodged in my head that states no first date sex.

OP posts:
SomethingOnce · 12/09/2013 00:32

In comparison, the standard British custard tart is distinctly lacking.

I must have one tomorrow for breakfast!

[falls off tart wagon]

Lazyjaney · 12/09/2013 06:50

You need to date a South African, their melktert is the ultimate custard tart. Fact.

AKissIsNotAContract · 12/09/2013 06:55

No man will buy the cow when he's getting the milk for free. Get some dignity and stronger knicker elastic

What a load of bollocks. Why buy a whole pig when you only want a bit of sausage.

superstarheartbreaker · 12/09/2013 07:14

Well my compliment to this guy was tgat he was 'fit' . He was...but he was also interesting and intelligent. We had much in common...music" places wed been to, sports but the difference between me droppng my pants on a first date and keeping them firmly on was the simple fact tgat he's fit! Ive had three dates with a guy who I wasnt attracted ti in tgat way. He was funnybso I thought it would grow. It hasnt. So many if my girlfriends think I should settle for someone 'nice' even if i dont fancy them as it will grow. Imo it normally dosnt.

OP posts:
Takingbackmonday · 12/09/2013 11:43

I don't believe any of this. I've had 3 long term relationships and numerous prolonged flings with 1st date sex men

Lazysuzanne · 12/09/2013 12:14

Surely we are all now agreed that there is no problem with first date sex in and of itself?

lurkinglorna · 12/09/2013 12:48

googled melktart, yum Smile

AnyFucker · 12/09/2013 12:48

What don't you believe,, TBM ?

specialsubject · 12/09/2013 13:03

forget 'the rules'.

if you want sex with this person and will still be happy about it next day, do it. Doesn't matter how long you've known him.

if you don't, say no.

SolidGoldBrass · 12/09/2013 13:22

I thought 'butterz' meant uncool and ugly. I am obviously quite old.

lurkinglorna · 12/09/2013 13:30

SGB

you're right and I'm right Grin see HERE

Takingbackmonday · 12/09/2013 15:01

The whole buying cow, milk business but I see most of us agree

internationallove985 · 12/09/2013 20:20

I have always D.T.D the first night. I see nothing wrong with it. I have a F.W.B now and we see each other a few days a week for sex. xx

Diagonally · 12/09/2013 22:22

"In some instances he may sport a wave"

I bloody love UD

Back to topic

I think your friends are wrong - what on earth is the point of dating / seeing a man romantically unless you want to have lots of sex with them?

lurkinglorna · 12/09/2013 23:52

Aye, Diagonally horrid advice there!

I think when women have settled for stability or for some guy because he "likes me and is there" it often turns out bitter.

No-ones suggesting holding out for prince harry but men who are fanciable as fuck AND principled and into us do exist.

I know personally if I accepted the kind of man who is "nice and looks after me" just cause I'm lonely or afraid of time passing, then I'd end up resenting him.

And what would happen if that guy I only picked for stability and companionship ends up losing that "stable" status - say job loss or illness or something? Confused

Of course initial charm doesn't rule over everything, but I think every now and then that "look at my man across the room and fancy him and feel bloody proud he's mine and no one elses" moment has to happen.

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