Men who push for sex on a first date....

[superstarheartbreaker]

Are idiots right? That's twice now I have broken my rule of no first date sex. Admittedly it is my fault for giving in but the hints, flattery, suggestions of driving me home combined with them being fit and me having a glass of wine all gets too much. Then of course...poof!

TBH when a guy starts pressuring me I sometimes give in as it makes me never want to see them again anyway but more often or not I feel a bit crappy about it.

Has anyone actually initiated first date sex themselves and how did it work out? (just curious) I still have that silly Rules book lodged in my head that states no first date sex.

I wanted to shag my H on our first date, but he turned me down

I think I am over the first date sex and tbh I don't think he put much pressure on me as I did find myself very attracted to him. What I am upset about now is that he clearly dosn't want to do it again. We did have a very strong connection.
I am analysing my performance; we didn't do it properly as we had no condoms so it wasn't amazing but we had oral and lots of lovely hugs. Mabe he didn't like my technique.I do feel about crap about myself even though the last bloke I was with said I was the best fuck ever. Sorry guys...tmi!

I'm just shit at this game. Why couldn't first date sex lead onto something more for me?

You sound too needy. Sorry love, just being honest. Is this dating lark something you should shelve and just be on your own for a little while ?

I have been on my own for years and I'm fed up with it. I can't win can I?

You need to stop trying too hard, I think. You obviously didn't have a "strong" connection with this latest bloke. And what's all this being proud of being the "best fuck ever" uttered by another of these nobbers ?

If shagging random men is what you want, go for it. But that isn't what you want, at all

I am an old fart though, so what do I know ?

Theres nothing wrong with being pleasedveith a compliment af although I do agree that it was nauseating of me to mention it! I certainly dont consider myself shag of of the century but its nice that someone else did ! ;-)

Theres nothing wrong with being pleasedveith a compliment af although I do agree that it was nauseating of me to mention it! I certainly dont consider myself shag of of the century but its nice that someone else did ! ;-)

Fucking is great etc. But you don't want to be "fuck of the century" and nothing else, do you ? Going off your posts on this thread, that is.

Anyway, you can't be Fuck of the Century, 'cos I am

Thing is, if someone says you're the best they've ever had, well wouldn't you wonder what they were used to?

He may have very limited sexual experience! Seems a kinda juvenile thing to say?

Yes, it's like being flattered when someone calls you a MILF. Not actually a compliment IYSWIM

(although I am sure you really are 2nd best Fuck of the Century, OP)

Or like being flattered when some bloke says he'd 'do' you

The appropriate response being 'in your dreams sunshine' :o

Apparently, some male friends of my teenage dd consider me to be "peng"

My face was like this

"tbh I don't think he put much pressure on me"

But any pressure is too much pressure. Showing enthusiasm/interest, yes, pressure, no way.

What do you want from a relationship? What are you hoping to gain from first date sex? I like Natalie Lue on this, Dating is a discovery phase, she explains it sort of like a very extended job interview, not some kind of exam you have to pass by doing it "right", but a chance for you to see if he might fit into your life, and him to see if you might fit into his.

Thing is, when you're single for a LONG time (and I know how it feels OP, I have been too) you seize on any compliment, even if it's a bit sleazy, or not that great, because for the rest of the time, every day of every week of every month, on and on, you never get a compliment, to the point you almost feel invisible to the opposite sex, and start to wonder, if you have so much going for you, then why does no-one notice?

The last time a man said I was beautiful was my Ex, 5 years ago. I've been on many dates since then, snogged lots, slept with a few (even some on the first date) but the number who actually said I was attractive (and no more than that) is less than 5. Whereas the number who made some sort of sexual compliment - at the tamest end something like what a horny (ugh, hate that word) kisser I was - practically all

I'd love someone to tell me how pretty and charming and intelligent I am, but in modern dating that doesn't seem to happen - or at least not to me! Hence I have to take the compliments I do get, cos they're better than nothing.

Oh I like "peng" Quite liked it when a (very) young man came up to me and said GIRL I LIKE YOUR STYLE!

I got called "elegant" by a former admirer - not an English guy. My friend then said "yes you are, but by that nation's standards, anyone who can put a dress on is elegant, they're hardly the French"

(friend was probably right)

I like to strive for "personable" myself, personable is probably better than being beautiful, although of course I think I am

I prefer "intelligent" or "witty" meself

I probably THINK when I meet blokes in a dating context

"wouldn't do, yuck"
"would do, wouldn't date or spend time outside the bedroom with"
"might be Ok, let's see what happens as we get to know each other"
"this is boyfriend/world changing material take seriously and enjoy"
"butterz"
"ok to date in a non committed way"
"buff"
"shit I KNOW him or one of my buddies has had him, ABORT asap"

But I wouldn't work that into conversation or phrase any of it as a compliment.

I don't know why I am even still on this thread. I haven't dated anyone in 25 years

Sounds like you have an expectation or at least hope that first date sex will lead to something. You have to accept that it doesn't indicate any man's future intentions and could just as easily be about getting a one-off fuck. If you don't 'put out' on first date and you still get to see them for more dates you have a better indication that they see you as GF material rather than just ok for a shag (some men will shag either category on a first date so you cannot tell).

Lorna

But wtf is "butterz"?!

Totally agree with Best on this

First date sex is no predictor of what's going to happen next

If you'd rather find out more about them and their intentions before you sleep with them, then don't do it

If you'd rather try before you even think about buying then go for it, but accept the.risk

Neither is wrong, but sex on first date is probably more risky if you tend to feel let down in some way after having sex and then they blow you out

Be wary of linking your ability to please someone sexually to your self worth

Losers will take advantage of that

a "butterz" guy is a cool city guy who shows me things (not necessarily including his penis or his emotions) like new interests or music or places or food types. this expands my world.

this year i haven't met anyone i've fallen in love with, but i've tried a lovely portugese tart (yeah yeah ), korean food, read an ancient military history book, discovered a folk musician i wouldn't have otherwise. these memories will probably leave a lot more of an impression than the guys in question!

A Portuguese custard tart (pastel de nata)? I got quite fat from my love affair with those.

they're great aren't they? when i saw it i was like "ok, this is basically an egg custard tart" but tastes amazing.

also had my first macaron on a 1st OD! that's another decent sweet find.