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Original poster

Should I be offended

32 replies

Hubertscubert · 05/09/2013 22:39

Had baby 5 wks ago, husband desperate for sex, says if doesn't get it soon a hole in the ground will do

OP posts:
Doha · 05/09/2013 22:41

Let him dig a hole is the ground then. In act you dig a hole big enough to bury him in. Selfish twat.

Neeliethere · 05/09/2013 22:43

well there's a way to drive a coach and horses through the closeness in your relationship. The more he carries on like that more you are going to put off resuming the sexual relationship and may well end up just doing it out of duty. A definite route to resentment. Talk to him for goodness sake. Get him to talk to you. But hopefully in a positive way not in a way that makes you feel you're only there for a purpose.

NoMoreMarbles · 05/09/2013 22:43

Tell him to stop being so selfish! He doesn't need sex he wants it...if he wants to ejaculate then his hand should do the trick quite nicely! You have had a person exit your vagina little over a month ago...if YOU don't feel ready then it's off the cards until you do!

Don't feel offended tell him to sod off with his melodrama!

Thurlow · 05/09/2013 22:44

I don't think he is being offensive if he means that he is missing the intimacy because you have, for example, always had a very active and regular sex up until the baby was born.

But if it's just that he wants to come... hand him a box of tissues and point him in the direction of the bathroom/laptop.

saggyhairyarse · 05/09/2013 22:44

^ PMSL

First thoughts are....can't he have a wank?

Seriously though, you are ready when you are ready, I assume you've not had your 6 week post-natal check?

AFishWithoutABicycle · 05/09/2013 22:44

Wow that's so sexy, how can you resist?

runningonwillpower · 05/09/2013 22:46

Smooth talking bastard.

Buttercup4 · 05/09/2013 22:52

Grin @ smooth talking bastard!!

Dahlen · 05/09/2013 22:54

Depends on the spirit in which it's been said. If he means he still thinks you're gorgeous, turn him on and he would like the chance to express that, then great. That's your cue to talk about other ways of fostering intimacy. If there's any hint of entitlement or a whinge to it though, tell him the hole will be big enough to take his body.

I have to say that my reaction would be to ask him if he saw me as a 'hole'. That may not have been how he meant it but once pointed out to him I'd expect an apology since considering any woman as a hole meant for the sexual gratification of mam is deeply misogynistic.

I hope it was just a careless use of words. Congratulations on your baby.

Dahlen · 05/09/2013 22:55

Man not mam. That really would be disturbing!

mcmooncup · 05/09/2013 22:56

Ewwwwwwww
Hope you are not actually feeling guilty or obliged

Xales · 05/09/2013 22:59

So your hole would do now? Nice guy! I hope he has some good points or was trying to be funny rather than how that comes across.

wheretoyougonow · 05/09/2013 23:04

If he said it in a light - hearted way I would be sorely tempted to place a pot of soil, compete with hole in the middle, on his pillow tonightGrin

China4Jazz · 05/09/2013 23:12

He wants a release; that's all.
Help the man out; doesn't have to penetrate or last very long!
They just need to get it out of their system- pardon the pun-.
We have different needs to them; we need, they want.

Shellywelly1973 · 05/09/2013 23:39

Seriously i would question what kind of man i was with if Dp said that to me. We're on 4th dc, we've waited between 3&8 weeks after the births.

I had straight forward, easy births & no stitches. If Dp came out with something like that after 5 weeks- i would seriously be pissed off.

He's a grown up man...he can have a wank & get over himself!

Sex resumes when you are ready as you are the one who gave birth!

CharityFunDay · 06/09/2013 00:08

Oh for goodness sakes, if he'd said "My balls are turning blue", would you still be asking if you were right to be offended?

Saying you could do it with a hole in the ground is a common way for a man to express how horny he feels. He doesn't literally mean it, ffs!

Clearly you don't feel as turned on as him. So you need to tell him that, and he should be a bit more understanding. Perhaps you could show him the 'sex after birth' thread on these very boards?

Congratulations on your baby, and on having a husband who plainly fancies the arse off you.

heartisaspade · 06/09/2013 00:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

beaglesaresweet · 06/09/2013 00:28

Grin at 'smooth talking bastard'

Jux · 06/09/2013 00:33

Sorry, "we need, they want"? Hmm right.

Pimpf · 06/09/2013 00:34

Wow, how could you not be turned on by that....

CharityFunDay · 06/09/2013 02:55

oh yes charity , what woman could fail to be flattered by being slightly preferable to a hole in the ground?

Do you really think that's literally what he's saying?

In all seriousness, is that what you think?

Have a word with yourself.

ZingWantsCake · 06/09/2013 03:06

tell him to shag a melon. that will cool him off.

sorry OP, but what a dumbass....

ZingWantsCake · 06/09/2013 03:06

Congrats on baby btw! Thanks

Boosterseat · 06/09/2013 09:19

China4jazz -Hmm

No mans balls will explode if he doesn't ejaculate fgs!
The semen is absorbed back into the body
Or he can have a wank if its really just "too much"

Men do not have physically different needs or wants, some of them have just been conditioned to demand the sex they are "entitled" to.

MakeGlutenFreeHay · 06/09/2013 09:32

Tbh, if you are asking if you should be offended, then probably no. Either you are offended or not - if not, then i presume your dh was obviously being tongue in cheek. If he was being aggressive/serious you would not need to ask whether you should 'decide' to be offended. Yes, it's wrong for him to put any pressure on, but if it's the first and only time he's asked that's not what he's doing. I just think it's a bit weird to canvass the opinion of strangers about whether or not to be offended when only you know the tone in which he asked....

Fwiw, if dh said this and clearly meant it as a joke, I'd take it as such (and as a pp said, provide the pot and soil....)

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