Narc XH and court

[MotherOfDragon]

We have been fighting over custody of the children for well over a year. Cafcass are involved and contact is restricted to a supervised centre. We are due to go back to court and I need to write a full statement. Cafcass and I had a meeting and agree it is important to write all assault, mental sexual and physical (99% was mental) in the statement.

I just can't bring myself to do it. Very time I go to write it I feel Ill it's pathetic. I can't explain myself. Not elegibke for legal aid and can't afford a solicitor so having to write it myself. I don't know why I'm wiring this.

MoD - keep it coming - all of these incidents paint a good picture - get them down here, and perhaps people can help get them into some sensible grouping for you?

On Xmas 2012 I made breakfast for everyone. Bacon sandwiches. He asked for red sauce and my nana asked for brown even thou I gave him red he didn't believe me, he. Took me into the kitchen and made me taste test the two different sauces and tell him what was what, he then held the bottles in front of me and said I was stupid. Didn't even know red from brown. It was never wrong.

There are so many I could go on all day.

Keep going on. Get it out.

Some of the much wiser women on here will help you with putting this into some sort of order. However as you have been adding dates and times ie were pregnant with DD1 or had DD1 and were pregnant with DD2 you can just copy and paste what you are writing into date order!

Are the others he assaulted (the nanny) or those he did it to you in front of (the charity shop lady) recorded by them? Can you contact them and ask them if they are willing to? No idea if that is allowed but is 'proof' you are not making it all up if you see what I mean?

Well done on seeing the light and getting out for you and your DD!

I wanted to feta slide for the girls in the garden. He came in and said plastic as tacky and wood was too expensive so they couldn't have any toys in the garden he shouted and said I was manipulative and the girls are spoilt - there were no toys inn the garden.

When we split up he came back and grabbed me in front of the children and a friend, she is happy to give a statement

He came home one day and a friend and I had some tea, we had used a splash of milk in each cup. He shouted at me for using it.

Well done, Dragon, write it ALL down.

The incident in the bathroom: take out 'it was consensual'. Just say what he did.

You are doing great.

You're doing great OP tell them what you are telling us!! He sounds utterly utterly evil, and I'm sure CAFCASS will see it. YOU MUST TELL THEM EVERYTHING.

You are extremely brave, raking over all this. x

Thinking of you and sending strength x

He would go out and not tell me he was going or when he would be back, I never even knew he had left the house.

A friend helped us move. He disagreed about Where a Cabinet should be and got up I my face shouting.

He once shouted at me in front of my friend for not ironing his shirt well enough

He once became angry because I used some of the milk for tea and he said it was his,

XH did not like me having a relationship with my family. On a few occasions he banned me from seeing them .

He also said my friend was a bad influence.

We were in a charity shop and he left shouting at me,

Once there was a power cut and he said I turned the electricity off to spite him. We didn't speak for days.

When we broke up he kept telling his sister I was possessed, he said his in front of the nanny

He would text me scriptures about how evil I was. He text my friend scriptural references about evil women who manipulate.

He posted all over Facebook about how evil I am and added everyone I know to look at it.

He said inappropriate things to the live in nanny to make her feel uncomfortable, for example he questioned her on how she would feel when her father who had heart problems would die, he has a few years to live

His days off work he said we his days and not for childcare, he ignored the girls

He would make himself food and ignore the children.

He always wanted fresh food, I had to cook it before he come in, that was hard as he worked shifts and could be home at 2am.

How soon was he making you cook after the births of your 2 DDs MoD?

Have you got any evidence from FB - can you get it?

He would threaten to punch me in the face when he was angry, he said one day it will happen.

He would lose things all the time when he couldn't find them he accused me of hiding them.

When I had fun in public- eg danced to a Band he said I was embarrassing and looked stupid

When we stayed in South Africa he said his bad mood was a result of the demonic spirits coming from the masks on the wall.

He spilled something on his shirt once and made me travel to Newcastle from Peterborough to take him a clean one or he said he would leave me.

He is very money focused and if something happened like a big bill he would be really angry at me, I once left the freezer door open and he demanded I pay for it all.

He would hide things I bought to make a point. I bought the girls some clothing and he said it was a waste of money

Oh love, you've had a horrible time with that man.

He made me throw food away if he didn't fact it and I would have to cook from scratch something else

I had to prepare him for work each day, iron his uniform, make sure he had money and keys and check his train times, if he ran late it was my fault.

Mistle- all evidence was printed. Straight after the birth. I never remember him cooking

All my family had to tread On eggshells when we lived with them for two months, they are all willing to write statements

He never came to hospital with DD2 as he said he had done it with DD1 and as I don't want to find out the sex he said scans were pointless. He encouraged me not to go even though I explained they check the child's health, Hme refused to take me so I had to rely on my family as I could not drive

He contacted my ex to ask him to say in court I was abusive. Ex refused so he wrote in his statement he said it anyway. Ex has agreed to write a statement to support me.

In police reports he claims the CSA have been in touch and he thinks they are actually me trying to wind him up

That's all I can remember right not that is significant. The others are just small occasions

He said I tried to kill myself. I have just read through his statement. In one bit he says it was a drink and another it was pills. Surely this will count for something - he is so inconsistent.

I have no experience in what you have been going through but didn't want to read and run.

You must be an incredibly strong person to live through all that and survive. You have my utmost respect and I wish you all the luck in the world with your ongoing fight.

Oh, my love, poor you and poor DDs - and nannies! No-one reading this could doubt he's got a screw loose, nor how much you suffered at his hands. That said, I'm sure he can be very convincing when it suits him, so am delighted you've got evidence and can get more. Are your records safe from him? Are you?

I'm not attempting to write up your points just now, as others with direct experience will come along later and you may find your own words getting more organised as you continue. You're doing incredibly well, keep it up as much as you can handle. Hope you're taking breaks and being good to yourself

I'm not able to read it all today, but, yes, do get as much evidence of what he has done as you can.
E-mail, facebook, friends'/neighbours' statements, etc.

Even the stuff you can't prove is likely to be believed because it forms a coherent picture.

Highlight all the stories where he has endangered his children or shown neglect.

Also point out occasions (preferably that you can demonstrate) when he has lied, to show he cannot be trusted.

You didn't mention it, I think, but also try to get a statement from the nanny.

I have statements from the nanny and my friend. I also have screen caps of all his evidence.