how often do NORMAL couples have sex?

[tyedye]

Im not in a happy relationship-my dp says its because we dont have enough sex?!

I don't know what a "normal" couple is... very blurry definition, that..

I's say 'normal' is what suits both of you, with compromise if necessary.. and sod what others are doing

Oh tyedye, from your other thread, surely the issue is his temper? Sounds like he's trying to play mindgames and pin all the blame on you...

Not as much as all these magazines and newspaper articles would lead you to believe! Small children and lack of sleep do not make us very amorous! I think the last time me and DH got "intimate" was about a month ago . He doesn't seem that bothered though which I don't know whether to be grateful about or offended .

I'd say he has it the wrong way round - you don't have a lot of sex because your relationship is not happy. It's very difficult to get enthusiastic about having sex with someone you're not happy with.

I think you need to address the things that are making you unhappy, rather than worrying about whether you're having sex often enough.

Yes.. tell him you find his temper issue a big turn off.. you are not a masochist and do not get off on being scared. Ask him to get anger management and that you will attend with him if necessary. And tell him a woman needs to feel relaxed and at ease to find sex enjoyable or even want to do it!

Is it the great male-female divide?,i Have told him all that re temper,he says he will be better-tempered if he had more sex,like a normal couple(my arse)

[I am fine Fio, why? :) And how are you?)

Oh and sandyballs?id be grateful.Why do we have to have sex anyway?i think i might be frigid?!

[ I have had no text!! And I would never deliberately ignore you!!)

tyedye - i've been with my boyf for 3 1/2 years and in all that time we've only ever attempted penetrative sex 3 or 4 times!! long story, being pg from the beginning & having a baby (not his) a big part of it of course for first couple of years...

and we have a v happy relationship and boyf has been wonderfully patient & loving throughout. This is the only aspect that's :( at the mo but we both know there is more to a relationship than sex and that we will work it out soon enough.

Your dp is playing manipulative games with you, passing the buck, guilt tripping etc.

I had a very healthy attitude to sex,something i worked hard for(no pun intended)after a destructive childhood,if im unhappy/anxious,then my sex drive doesnt just leave the building,it leaves the country!that must be normal surely?

Booze is a big passion killer. I find my libido disappears if I'm hitting the vino too much.

its birthdays and Christmas isn't it?

I tell dh that sex is for procreation and not for recreation - we have 3 angels already so he runs a mile lol. We don;t have sex as much as he would like but to be honest I have enough on my plate with the kids - he can just get in the queue!!!

TyeDye - from reading your other thread it is quite clear that you are not in a relationship where you would enjoy sex at all. Is he pressurising you to have sex more often?
link{http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/\This website} is one which describes the relationship between verbal and other kinds of abuse and sex in a relationship.
His anger IS the issue, and if you go through the pages of the site - especially the page about The Abuser, you may recognise lots about your 'd'p.

sorry \link{http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/\link}

Like dino says, the issue is his temper here & he is just trying to push the blame on you.
Why would you want to have sex with him when he is treating you so badly?
I have had sex with my H twice since Christmas & one of those occassions I was drunk!

Obviously H & myself don't count as the norm, tyedye, but wanted to make the point that if they are not treating you well, sex is the last thing you want.
The problem is HIM not you & don't let him make you think any different.
Keep strong.x

When things are good between me and dh we have sex every day but recently as you know things have been crap so we've barely touched each other for 6 months.

How are you doing, Tamba?