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Original poster

Am I expecting too much or is he taking the p?

28 replies

NancypantsO · 31/08/2013 18:52

I've been dating someone on and off over the last 4 years.

We seem to get together then spilt up

This time in June I asked him what he wanted because I was not prepared to get involved again unless he was serious about us.

It is now he wants to come round once a week, arrives at 8pm is off and away 1pm the next day . Some weeks he might come down on Wednesday too.

A text once a night to say love you miss you.

Is it possible to have a relationship with this amount of contact or is he taking piss out of me?

OP posts:
Original poster
NancypantsO · 31/08/2013 18:54

Just typing that out I think I've answered my own question.

He is taking the pis out of me

So why do I hang on to the fact this might be normal?

OP posts:
CoalDustWoman · 31/08/2013 18:54

Is he married?

Fraxinus · 31/08/2013 18:56

Depends what you want. If you want to share your life with someone, then this is not him. If you find that level of involvement too much.... Then it might work for you.

Bowlersarm · 31/08/2013 18:56

Once a week isn't enough. He's playing you. Be strong, and move on. Sorry OP.

CoalDustWoman · 31/08/2013 18:58

xpost

What did you mean by "serious about us"? Was it discussed explicitly?

StephenFrySaidSo · 31/08/2013 19:01

it doesn't matter what we think is too much or not.

it matters what you want and if him coming round once a week and the odd text isn't what you want then don't accept it. move on and find someone who wants the relationship you want.

Deathbyladybirds · 31/08/2013 19:08

He's playing you.

nomorecrumbs · 31/08/2013 19:13

Does he never want to spend the day with you? Go on trips together? Surprise you?

LTB

Original poster
NancypantsO · 31/08/2013 19:13

thank you

I think I'm finding hard and might be trying to make excuses for him as I lost some mobility 2 years ago and he is the only man that knew me before my mobility issues (require walking aids)

He has said and I quote 'I'm not sure if I could go out with you in public because i've never had a disabled girlfriend and I don't know how I would feel about that'

I tore him a new one for sayng that and I he apologised profusely and said it was nerves and he just didn't know how to deal with it but in the back of my head I'm thinking you'll be embarressed to be seen with my in front of your friends and family

But then I think, well who else well want me when i'm broken so I might as well stick with you

OP posts:
kalidanger · 31/08/2013 19:21

Have you spent time at his place?

SolidGoldBrass · 31/08/2013 19:31

He may be married, he's certainly a shit. He's not interested in you as a person in the least, he just wants somewhere to stick his dick once a week that's guaranteed. bin him.

ofmiceandmen · 31/08/2013 19:43

Nancy if you spend you time on this idiot man, you will be potentially missing out on someone who 'will want you'.

I cannot imagine the pain of that statement - who will want me nor can I down play his role in getting you to see yourself this way.

Anyone that can say they may be embarrassed to be seen with you is not someone to have in your corner. Yet alone to consider him as a partner.

Get out, meet other people and begin to build healthy relationships, then in that process you will find someone who can accept you as you are now. Which oddly is the same person you were before.

Learn to love yourself, then others will begin to love you.

Stay clear of this person - please!!! he will use you and abuse you - in fact he has already begun.

FrancescaBell · 31/08/2013 19:46

Yes he would be embarrassed to be seen with you in front of his friends and family, but not because of your disabilities.

More likely, because they all know he's got a regular partner.

pictish · 31/08/2013 19:46

Omg.
So...he won't be seen out in public with you, but you're grand for a weekly fuck?
Come on.

Stropzilla · 31/08/2013 19:46

You were quite right to tear him a new one! So he sees the disability before he sees you? Twat! Dump him and find someone less shallow! Twat. Am raging on your behalf!

StephenFrySaidSo · 31/08/2013 20:43
Shock

he's disgusting!

why the fuck would you even waste anymore brain space on this vile fucker?

Angry

you deserve better and better exists! go find it.

Original poster
NancypantsO · 31/08/2013 21:31

he's not married or has a partner although I understand why that may look that way

I called him at 8.30pm to ask if he wanted to be with me .....he said 'i'm not sure I'll have to think about i do but then sometimes you are making me unhappy by asking about feelings and stuff , I think I do but everything is stressful at the moment

I said well 'you do or you don't don't it's not that hard to give a proper answer to my question

OP posts:
Original poster
NancypantsO · 31/08/2013 21:36

And I stupidly gave him £400 in July......I've been played for money haven;t I

Why am I always a tit who falls for guys who are worth nothing and believe their stupid 'I love you's'

This is the second time I hav given someone money....I never got it back the first time and I doubt I'm going get it back now because I'm some sort of reject that goes about handing money to guys in the vain hope they might like me

OP posts:
Stropzilla · 31/08/2013 23:15

You are not a reject. You sound like a kind decent person. Forget the money, if you never see him again it's money well spent. He should be heartbroken at the thought of losing you, not berating you for taking about feelings.

Stop giving out the money and start demanding people love you for who you are. Begin by dumping his sorry ass and concentrating on you for a while.

pictish · 01/09/2013 00:23

Writing off the £400 is money well spent if you never see this idiot again.
He's using you.

You're not a reject - you're going to reject him. This dose of self respect is exactly what you need!

AnyFucker · 01/09/2013 00:27

Kick this fucker to the kerb

Honestly, he is worthless

And please keep your wallet in your pocket in future. It is quite clear affection and respect is a priceless commodity.

Jux · 01/09/2013 01:10

You're not a reject. He's just too stupid to see how precious you are.

There are lots of men out there who wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen with you, wouldn't even occur to them. People worth knowing simply don't think that way.

I belong to an exercise group for people with ms. One of us, 34 yr old woman, has just got married. Her dh adores her. He doesn't give a toss that she's in a wheelchair. He calls her his sexy/gorgeous wife. He strokes her hair when they're waiting in a queue. Embarrassed? He'd be baffled if you suggested it.

Forget the sticks or whatever your aids are, they don't define you.
Forget the man, you don't need him.

maidmarian2012 · 01/09/2013 08:34

My God you are worth more than this. There's men out there who would love to have a woman like you, and wouldn't ask you for a penny. The comment about your mobility issues is a disgrace. I'm appalled.
Tell him you are not prepared to be hung at the back of the door waiting for him. You deserve to be loved and treated nicely and shown off, what a twat he sounds.
Jux ^^ has hit the nail on the head.
Just tell him not to come round anymore, concentrate on yourself, pamper yourself, treat yourself. Fuck him x

oldgrandmama · 01/09/2013 13:31

He's absolutely vile. You're far far too good for him. I agree with the others - write off the £400 and tell him you NEVER want to see him again.

SolidGoldBrass · 01/09/2013 20:08

ALso, please remember that it's fine to be single, and there are more important things in life than having a sexual/romantic relationship with a man. Women who can't lose the idea that any man is better than no man always end up with one shit after another.

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