Would you expect your pils to visit you if you were in hospital?

[louloutheshamed]

I am 37 weeks pg and last week was admitted to hospital for 4 days with placenta praevia. They then did another scan which showed the placenta had moved and I was discharged.

I am lucky as I had frequent visitors, my dh, parents, friends and colleagues but I didn't hear at all from pils, not even a text (mil and i do text occasionally). They were on holiday for most of the time i was in but would have drove back past the hospital on their way home- but when I asked dh if they would call in they said they weren't coming that way back as they were going to a special fishmongers (?!). This just left me feeling a bit but I am a bit teary anyway because of the whole late pregnancy thing.

On the last few times I have seen mil she has been telling me about the texts she gets from her other dil who is in the process of divorcing her other ds, so I find it a bit strange that she didn't text me in this situation, but maybe I am expecting too much?

I wouldn't. My mil is nice but were not that close. She,d just wait for updates from dh.

My PILs wouldn't as they would be at home looking after our kids so DP would either be able to visit me or go to work.
They wouldn't text me either.
I get on alright with them but unless they are visiting communication goes through DP iyswim but then my parents wouldn't visit DP or text him if the roles were reversed.

My PILs ae the last people I would want to see if I was in hospital! They would call DH for an update if they were interested (which I doubt they would be tbh).

My MIL would get daily updates from DH and would only be able to visit if FIL shifts permitted as she doesn't drive.....TBH I wouldn't want BIL to visit as its a struggle even seeing him at MILs. and SIL probably wouldn't because of her two girls. I'd just want my mum but I'm a sap in that respect.

Hope the rest of our pregnancy goes well. Rest up and take it easy xx

Depends how close you are. My in-laws were abroad so I didn't get that close and I never even had a phone call!

In their shoes if they knew you had plenty of visitors and were feeling emotional I would probably have given you the space and waited for updates from your husband.

no I wouldn't

No, I wouln't. But then, I was in hospital for a week, followed a week later by another 3 days, then in plaster for 10 weeks (and two further operations over the next year and permanent disability) and the PIL didn't even offer to look after ds or help out in any way at all

No. I was in hospital for 10 days a couple of years ago - I was very close to them at the time but still wouldn't have wanted or expected a visit. My H, parents and best friends were regular visitors and that was fine by me.

No, I wouldn't either. You are overreacting IMVHO.
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy

I would have absolutely hated a visit from my MiL. If I was in hospital not feeling well, I would have just wanted DH, DP and Dsis to visit and no one else and definitely no-one from work :)

When I was in hospital for 10 days while expecting DC2 my MiL visited me. She is lovely, but I really wish she hadn't.

No, but I hate them and would have to discharge myself if I was a captive audience with my MIL banging on.

Some men of a certain age feel uncomfortable visiting for 'womans problems'.

Yes they would come every day.
We are freakishly close though.

Fuck no.

Mine called me the day after I had surgery. It was very sweet but TBH I felt like death and just wished they'd get off the bloody phone. They meant well but I didn't have the energy to be the flipping hostess and tell them anecdotes.

I think yours are a bit odd but be thankful!

I wouldn't, although my mil is probably not your average mil and I've never had a fil.

However I think I would still feel the same if they were lovely and I got on well with them.

Tbh it sounds like you had loads of visitors considering it was only 4 days, so I would be happy with that. My husband is frequently in hospital for days at a time and I'm the only visitor. We have no local family, but do have friends in the area. They wait until he is at home and well enough to see people.

We get along well, but no.

Mine would if I asked them. Have you asked them?

Otherwise they would get updates from DP and think I was too ill to have many visitors.

I wouldn't expect mine to visit if I was in for four days for monitoring. They'd be concerned and ask DP for updates but it's only a short time.

I don't think I'd even consider visiting friends after 4 days and certainly not colleagues. Maybe after a week I'd visit but no earlier unless requested.

Absolutely not. Close friends and immediate family only. Everyone else should be happy with updates.

My MIL is lovely and might visit with DH ( she doesn't drive ) but I wouldn't expect a visit. Especially if they'd just come back from holiday. If we had been travelling home from on holiday and one of the ILs had been taken into hospital we wouldn't visit before going home unless things were really serious.

Underpinning your OP is the question: Do my PILs like me? You can't necessarily tell how fond someone is of you from their decision to visit or not visit you in hospital. I would try to stop caring quite so much what others' actions mean and concentrate on being you. Good luck with the birth.

Mine did when I had surgery and they had to fly over from India to do it. Same as we drop everything if either if them is sick and we need to go over there.

Colleagues??
I actually dread ever having to be in hospital as I know there are people who would insist on visiting and I'd have to insist on them not!