Does anyone else worry all the time that other people don't like them?

[dinosaure]

I know this sounds a bit silly, but I've found myself increasingly paranoid recently that people just don't like me, laugh at me behind my back, find me thick and stupid etc etc etc. I do remember that I used to feel like this at school a lot, then I discovered smoking and drinking which were massive confidencen boosters.

Is it just me? Or does anyone else ever feel like this?

I'm very envious, Custardo and moondog .

I think actually it goes way way back with me. I've always felt like I was quite a disappointment to my parents (God, this is starting to sound very self-pitying, isn't it?). Maybe if you start off feeling secure within your birth family it's easier not to care what the rest of the world thinks?

Dino is all those things, pamina!
The way your parents (& the men in your life!) make you feel proves a huge part in how we feel about ourselves.

You have NOTHING to be paranoid about, dino. You are a lovely person & I cannot imagine anyone disliking you.

annie mac - mmy best friend is in france others are in Oldham ( 300 miles away) my social life consists of getting shitfaced with dh or getting shitfaced with mumsnetters - with the occasional work thing thrown in.

i know its all about confidence and the ncie things other people will say - but i truly am of the personal opinion that i am not that important to be talked about.

if you reverse the " i have no confidence thing"
you must have some - i mean your good enough to talk about after all!

am not being flippant - its my view.

No, I didn't think you were being flippant custardo.

I think your relationship with your parents is THE deciding factor in determining the sort of person you are. If you feel like a disappointment, that must be incredibly hard.

I don't feel like a disappointment, but I do feel they don't 'like' me (diff to love) or approve of me. Anyhoo, not about me. If it really is having a bad effect on your life would you consider some short term counselling??

I think counselling would be helpful too, dino.
It has really helped me.

have only read the OP.

YEAP! i have very similar feelings hun. i used to be very secure in my own skin but follwing a horrible relationship and subsequant single parenthood i have put on a lot of weight and pretty much look like a haggared old bag.

i dont have any freinds in RL and i do often think that maybe i put out a bad vibe. no doubt i will be ok in time but at the moment i just get yhe impression i am not too great to be aournd.

hence me comeing in here and forcing myself upon all you unsuspecting poor mners

dino!
Not silly, and I entertain these feelings myself sometimes (friends not returning calls or mails quickly, all irrational stuff), well quite often actually. But you must know how many Mners find your every post wise, fair and interesting. Honest. And have had the total pleasure of your company in RL.
Please do not get me even started on "thick and stupid". Your pressure-cooker alma mater can have a lot to answer for sometimes
Other posts on this thread have concurred - it is normal, if you are a sentient being who likes other people and enjoys their company - to fret about how you are really seen.
Tonight I should have really gone on a scary binge-drinking with tepid-pasta fest with some other mummies from school. I didn't go...because I thought they'd all think I was boring, thick, stupid etc. So there is proof for you that thinking this way, in moderation, can save your wallet and your liver :)
Oh, and every return to work after a pregnancy crams your self-confidence further down into the bin IME. Dd will be 3 in August and I have just had my first annual review I was by and large pleased with, since her birth.

lol at 'scary binge drinking with tepid pasta fest'
Am booked in for one meself shortly.
Have to go or will be branded sour old cow of t'village.

Marina, WTF are you doing here at 11.20? Are you at work?

dino, I always worry what people who know me think of me and if they like me or not. I really envy people who genuinely don't care.

Work? Mind your language!
Am guiltily sitting wondering how I can get ds to big up his very brief vomiting bug to the archmummy organiser's child on Monday
I sort of gave the impression ds' head was spinning round with green stuff coming out...

You don't usually MN at night though

Have no idea about your archmummy but I'm sure more green-ness and vomiting could be arranged for Monday

not just you, i worry all the time. i even worry that figments of my imagination inside my computer dont like me.....

seriously, i do. its a confidence thing. its like some part of you feels that you are in some way 'unlikeable' and you transfer this internal feeling of being 'not quite good enough' onto those you come into contact with.

Dh is playing with his tackle in the sitting room...

He is off fishing tomorrow, I gave him a Father's Day Ausweis. But seeing him rootle through all those pesky cartons is beyond endurance

me too.
I'm very insecure with friends, even though I very rarely let it show. often feel very unlikeable and wonder what on earth I've got to offer (i.e. why people stick around me).
I can get insecure and 'paranoid' wrt MN too.

I don't know...interesting question...I sometimes give it passing thought (whether somebody might like me or not) but it doesn't really preoccupy me....Not sure why this is since most people seem quite susceptible to these concerns. I think it helps if you enjoy your own company and don't need anyone else (not the same as being anti social)

Well I like you a lot FIT and always read your posts :)

whereas I think you're a waste of space

....joking!!!!!

Really Marina? Thank you! :)

(you too hmc )

Dino... yep, me too! Am now in a position of responsibility at work, and had a crisis which had me considering leaving the profession altogether all because I inadvertently upset one of my colleagues and was convinced he'd turn everyone else against me (there are only 5 of us in total!) and they'd all hate me forever. (As it happened, he realised that it was inadvertent, I said I was sorry for the misunderstanding, and everything was fine within a couple of days.) No good advice, but I think it's very common actually. For example, my sister used to tease me as a teenager because I had thick glasses and was a bit of a swotty teacher's pet type. I wanted to much to be like her - slim, sporty, popular. Only MUCH later - when we were both over 30 - did I find out that she thought everyone would like her much more if only she were as clever as me (she IS extremely clever, btw) and not just seen as a bit of a shallow bimbo. If only we'd each known how the other felt at the time we'd have hurt one another a lot less...

By the way, Dino... Am I confusing you with someone else/mis-remembering an ancient thread, or is it your birthday about now? If so Happy Birthday. If not, well Happy 16th June anyway!

Or even 17th June (it's past midnight again...)

I like you, dino. In the way that I tend to worship the fab fabsters of this world. You are vey cool indeed.

very