AIBU to be really pissed off that she's let my cat out again!!

[RogueRebel]

I rescued my cat from Cats protection league a few months ago and have kept him in, on advice from the vets.
I phoned after 2 weeks of getting him to find out about getting flea and worm treatments before I let him out and as he was due his booster this month they advised to keep him in and have his check up, jabs and then flea and worm treatment before letting him out.

I have two children 4 & 2 who seem to understand the cats not allowed out.

But my Best Friend has just let my cat out for the 3rd time since I've had him. It wouldn't be quite so bad but I warn her every time she stands on the door step chatting as she's about to leave. I then rushed bare foot round the back garden to cut him off and grab him and she was stood round the front, he walked away from me right passed her and got away (I could of grabbed his tail as he crawled through a hole in the fence and under the bush, but that would hurt him)
Her Excuse!!! she was on her mobile!!! That Pissed me off even more because she's always on it, while eating, watching a film, in the car, while having her hair done! it needs to be surgically removed from her hands!

I've explained I don't want him let out yet, I have a reason from vet, Its raining, dark and another cat has chased him off down the neighbours garden! I have to have two kids up and out of the house at 7am, I'm at work till 5pm and wont be back home until 6:30/7pm so will be out of my mind all night and day stressing because I haven't got a cat flap yet because I'm still mulling over if I should get a tag or microchip one. I didn't get more than 2 hours sleep last night because the very same friends phoned me at 12am for hours crying and to ask if she can move in with me because she doesn't want to live with her Ahole of a brother and she cant afford to live alone. I've said yes and spent the whole day with her being a good friend and trying to measure my bed and the box room to see if it will fit in the tiny room so she can have a decent sized room.

Am I being a bit cat Lady crazy? Feel better after a rant

[RogueRebel]

Friend has just phoned my house phone, I answered without realising it was her I was so unprepared!!

I managed to mention the subject but it didn't go too well because she spoke over me.
However I have told her I couldn't commit to anything at the moment as its the councils decision( I know I bottled it! and should of just said no!)

Friend is under the impression she will only have to pay £14 a week rent!!!! WTAF!! where is that number from?
In what world would a full time employed professional lodger ever pay £14 a week rent!!!!

I did manage to say I don't want men in my house at all and she's now said she's not seeing anyone.

I also mentioned they might look into her financial details to assess the amount of rent and council tax, she wasn't impressed and said she'd give figures over the phone.

I think she's realised I'm going to go back on my decision and all of a sudden I've been invited on a holiday weekend with the group she's with now! I told her that's a joke, none of them like me and she backtracked saying how they all think I'm wonderful for putting her up. mug more like. I've said I can't go I wont have any holiday or money because I'm saving for my own holiday next year.
She then made out her battery was dying and had to go.

How can someone who's so skint have so many holidays even if they are just weekends away?

next time I speak to her I will be prepared and will say no.

I think the financial information got her goat though so that might be because if anyone knew her real finances she wouldn't be as skint as she makes out.

[cozietoesie]

I thought she might try to catch you - and I really think she'll turn up on your doorstep tomorrow night (or in a few days) with a few poly bags and looking woebegone. ('It would only be for tonight RR, only tonight.')

Is it tomorrow that your Bro and Mom are due back? I know you're going to try to be strong but it's quite difficult when someone is in tears in front of you.

(Even if they're crocodile tears.)

Maybe some real life support would be good for you?

The lying toad that she is. She's trying to reel you in with sweet words.

[cozietoesie]

PS - could the £14 be her notional divvy of the extra Council Tax you would have to pay? (I don't know what sum of money you would be talking about.) As suggested by of her 'friends', eh?

[Fluffycloudland77]

Well, according to the government you can earn just over £4000 tax free from a lodger for each tax year.

Practice saying no. If she suddenly falls out with you so be it.

[cozietoesie]

RR

I think you have to stop thinking of her as your friend - because she's not.

[YouStayClassySanDiego]

She's got a brass neck!

Practice in the mirror:

I've given it serious thought and you moving into my house isn't going to work for me and the kids. You'll find somewhere else, you've got plenty of friends and contacts. You know you'll be fine. Best wishes.

Don't be taken in by any sad face she puts on, it'll be fake.

[RogueRebel]

mum and brother are back today, will be able to have a chat tomorrow, she's having the DC while I work because nursery is closed.

She knows as we discussed what she would pa5y, not actual amounts but obviously, water gas electric TV bill (I have sky phone broadband) rent and council tax, tv licence, etc

I currently only pay £14 rent but I am a single parent who works 16hours a week so I still get a lot of help from the government.
She has come to the conclusion she would pay £14 just for the rent (+other bills) because a friend had to pay that in the family home when she was working and living in parents council house.

she then mentioned it would only be £20 something ish for the council tax - I told her I'd doubt that as I'd lose my single occupancy discount.

unfortunately she's one of those people who is always right even when their wrong, she'd swear black was green instead of admitting she was wrong even if she looked like an idiot.

[LoisPuddingLane]

SAY NO. KEEP SAYING NO.

£14 rent might have been acceptable ohhhh in about 1970. SAY NO.

[cozietoesie]

Good - that bit of real life support will be invaluable to you.

You have the option, by the way, of linking her to this thread so that she can read it and grasp the full awfulness of this woman. Your call on that. (And you can always change your MN name in the future so that she can't read any future posts you make.)

[LoisPuddingLane]

All her talk about figures and what would be acceptable amounts (to her) is irrelevant. She's not going to move in. You really need to say this clearly because obviously she still thinks she is.

[pigsDOfly]

I don't know if anyone else has pointed this out, if they have I apologise, but unless there was something criminal going on at this party, and I'm talking about violence, not drug use, the police do not come out for noisy parties. So she's lying to you about that.

And as for the landlord evicting her via FB, speaking as a LL who has recently got rid of a tenant who lived in my property (not in my home) for 6 months not paying any rent, it most definitely is not that easy to evict people. So she's lying about that too I suspect.

It sounds like she's looking for somewhere cheap to live with someone she can walk all over. I feel quite angry on your behalf OP. She's clearly a user and it sounds like she's planning on using you.

She will make your life a misery. Please don't let her move in to your home.

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

The friends think you're wonderful because secretly they're thinking phew, dodged a bullet there, RogueRebel got us off the hook.

If she has until October there's no urgency. She has a funny idea of being skint if it doesn't impact on her social life or trips away.

[ratbagcatbag]

Just text her.

Unfortunately it doesn't work out for me you moving in, you will need to make other arrangements.

RR

[Selks]

Yes just text her and say no. Don't let this get drawn out - just put an end to it.

[LoisPuddingLane]

Text AND email if you have her email address. Or message on FB. She's likely to say she "never received" the text because there's something wrong with her phone. Send carrier pigeon too.

[WhiteandGreen]

If she says she didn't receive your text you can always say 'I don't believe you.' (Just said calmly and matter of fact) I find that often takes the wind out of people's sails.

[Xales]

She still thinks she is moving in and your only objection is men staying over.

She is not listening to you and you are not being clear enough.

If you say no there is no need to be discussing finances or men staying over.

You have to say NO

[LoisPuddingLane]

Exactly, she still clearly thinks she's moving in and the rest is negotiation (or how far she can beat you into submission).

[Hegsy]

£14 a week I'll pay you £20 if you'll let me move in op?

I'd txt her now and just keep practicing the 'I'm sorry that doesn't work for me' line

[LoisPuddingLane]

She will ask why, and she will try to challenge you, "minimising" her impact on your life. In fact she will probably promote it as a good idea all round.

You do not need a reason to say no. Just say you've changed your mind. Sorry, no, I've changed my mind. Keep saying it.

[Anniegetyourgun]

A wicked part of me is hoping you will let her move in, just so you can post deliciously horrifying anecdotes about what she gets up to! (There is absolutely no doubt in my mind, or anyone else's by the sound of it, that she will become the original Lodger from Hell.) But seriously, don't.

[Tuppenceinred]

It's obvious where this is going if she moves in Op. So either you send an absolutely clear message that she can't move in, or you let her and deal with the inevitable consequences. She won't pay her way. She won't pull her weight. She won't be considerate about your cat - whether or not he's going out. She will have men and other friends round.

[DameDeepRedBetty]

Get Caller ID if you haven't already so she can't catch you again like that - or screen calls with the answerphone.

And just keep saying No.

[LoisPuddingLane]

You will have to listen to her have sex and I would bet a tenner that she's a screamer.

[Tuppenceinred]

No need to screen calls if you just let her know now that you've changed your mind and she can't come. I'd take one call from her after that, but if she was still arguing or being a pain, I'd block her. It gets any worse then you involve the police. I'm serious, I can kind of see where this will go, just hope I'm wrong.
All you have to do to stop this is send her a message or ring her, then don't open the door.