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Original poster

Worst.girlfriend.ever.

26 replies

fifi669 · 17/08/2013 23:33

So.....had a few friends round last weekend. Lots of drink. To the point I don't remember them leaving. No I'm not an alcoholic and I know binge drinking isn't cool.
I remember talking to my friend who was due to marry in 3 weeks about her husband. She said he's rubbish in bed, her exes were better etc. I was saying it didn't look good if that's how she's feeling now... And that's where it goes blank.
DP is out on the grooms stag do tonight. Other friends DP and him got chatting about what was said that night. Apparently amongst the chat I said my ex (huge twat) was perfect for me physically, that he was good in bed and all sorts of stupid things.
DP has only told me now and I feel awful. My ex makes my skin crawl I have no idea what came over me. Ever the perfect man he says its ok, he always thought he was second best but that he loves me and would fight for me always.
DP is not second best. He is the most wonderful person I have ever met. Besides not getting hammered and acting a tool how can I make him believe me? Everything was perfect between us, he says it still is but I don't know how he can just ignore it like he has all week, when obviously out tonight it's winding him up. I feel if I were posting this in reverse you'd all be telling me to LTB Sad

OP posts:
NumTumDeDum · 17/08/2013 23:36

Why did your friend feel it was appropriate to broadcast what you allegedly said? You can't be sure yiu did say after all.

Coconutty · 17/08/2013 23:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nagoo · 17/08/2013 23:40

Your 'friend' might be shit stirring to deflect attention from what she herself said. Why would she betray your trust like that?

I'd tell your DP the truth, that you don't remember saying anything of the sort, and tell him how much you love him.

Original poster
fifi669 · 17/08/2013 23:41

I'm supposed to have said it in a group conversation.... Infront of DP. Friends DP was also there and got talking to mine tonight about nice guys finishing last.

I've spoke to the bride, she says it isn't as bad as DP is making out and it's been blown up. But she was pretty drunk too. Well lets face it we all were... Stupid beer.

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waddlecakes · 17/08/2013 23:42

This is odd. I often get drunk when I'm out partying (not proud) and it is very, VERY unlikely that I would come out with something that was a complete lie. Yet what you allegedly said was a complete lie, since the sober you feels like your ex makes your skin crawl. Someone here may have stitched you up. And this may be paranoid of me, but the most likely culprit is actually your oh so lovely DP, in a bid perhaps to test you or to get reassurance.

Original poster
fifi669 · 17/08/2013 23:49

Funnily enough I did ask if it was a wind up. In the context of the conversation I can believe that I might say sex isn't everything as that department was good with ex but he was a twat and I'd much rather the other way round...
But as DP says I was bigging him up and saying how great he was generally? Never in a million sober years so I don't see why I'd do it when a few sheets to the wind

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waddlecakes · 17/08/2013 23:51

Honestly, wait and see what others think of the idea, but I'm convinced the only logical explanation is that your DP is actually slightly more manipulative than you might think, and is trying to test you. Because your friend wouldn't have anything to gain from it, and not only is it unlikely that she'd bother telling someone else, it's then unlikely that that person would bother telling your DP.

Original poster
fifi669 · 17/08/2013 23:55

I'm supposed to have said it in front of him and others. But he didn't want to tell me as he said he could take it on the chin and live with it as I mean that much to him.

OP posts:
waddlecakes · 18/08/2013 00:00

Well regardless of whether you said it or not, the fact that he can ''take it on the chin and live with it'' is not a positive thing at all from my POV. It either means that:
a) he is so supremely underconfident that he is willing to be second best - which is unappealing, or
b) he's just trying to trap you.

HoopersGinger · 18/08/2013 00:03

It does sound like your friend maybe put a drunken spin on the conversation otherwise I am pretty sure it would ring a bell with you. I have been equally trollied but when some shameful thing comes to light I get a flashback.

HoopersGinger · 18/08/2013 00:04

Oh, just read you said it in front of him Blush

HoopersGinger · 18/08/2013 00:06

Shameful flashback principle still applies though. . .

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved · 18/08/2013 00:09

Were you so drunk you got words twisted around? I can imagine a situation where I'd changed who I was talking about and hadn't mentioned that out loud!

Original poster
fifi669 · 18/08/2013 00:10

Complete zero flashback. I can only assume I said something in innocence and its been turned into something else. Still feel like shit though.

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Original poster
fifi669 · 18/08/2013 00:12

As I said I have no recollection of the conversation at all, so yes I'd def have been drunk enough

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KellyHopter · 18/08/2013 00:17

Op, you're not saying that this is something you wouldn't say though, are you?

You're saying you don't like him but what you were supposed to have said was about sex. It's just I think the 'he makes my skin crawl' thing is maybe getting people sidetracked?

You can easily dislike an ex but acknowledge that the sex was great, I think it's unlikely you didn't say it and would not reflect well on you to now deny it. Unless I've got it wrong, but you've not said that this isn't something you think?

Apologise and stop getting so drunk.

Original poster
fifi669 · 18/08/2013 00:22

waddle he's confident with friends, family etc but not women in romantic situations. In fact he's quite naive. He doesn't think he's attractive when actually he's ridiculously fit and has women coming on to him all the time. He's even been on a date while we've been together... He thought he was going to play badminton with a work colleague and making up numbers, I told him it was a date, he thought I was being silly. He came back shell shocked that he'd been paired up with her single daughter, everyone else was a couple and the dad wanted to speak to him about going back to theirs for drinks, maybe he'd like to partner his daughter regularly etc. Weird stuff. He literally doesn't see it coming.

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waddlecakes · 18/08/2013 00:28

''He literally doesn't see it coming.''

Mmm.

I'm going with my gut on this one.

I think he's much less naive than you think. I would be wary of being told you'd said something when you have absolutely ZERO recollection of the topic and when it isn't something you believe at all sober.

Original poster
fifi669 · 18/08/2013 00:29

kelly the sex was good. I just can't believe I'd say it in front of DP. The rest about him being great in general is 100% false. DP knows this, we all worked together once, we've been friends for 7 years he knows exactly how badly I was treated. Why I'd say that bit, no idea.
I have no excuses whatsoever.
I have apologised, via text as he's on this stag do. Just to me what I said is awful and apologising doesn't seem enough?

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waddlecakes · 18/08/2013 00:31

I mean, think about it from this POV right - so let's suspend belief and say he really is so underconfident he would stay with you while 'knowing' he was second best. Fine. So what does he have to gain by telling you that you werre drunk and said your ex pas perfect and a great shag? That's not a rhetorical question. What does he gain from it? He's not looking for you to justify yourself, according to him. He's apparently not looking to pick a fight or to have it out and get to the bottom of the issue, since he's so underconfident. So why bother telling you? To make you feel bad?

Either way, it's manipulative.

waddlecakes · 18/08/2013 00:31

'I have apologised, via text as he's on this stag do''

And what has he replied?

Nagoo · 18/08/2013 00:35

I am really worried he is engineering an argument while he is out on a stag, and also cleverly making it look look like he is the injured party.

I am deeply suspicious I am afraid.

Is he coming home tonight?

Original poster
fifi669 · 18/08/2013 00:38

waddle I get where you're coming from but he really is. Everyone he works with knows he has a girlfriend, in his eyes they will all respect that. His line manager was constantly texting, on his days off too about minor work things or when she was on holiday with her boyf in Thailand to ask how the shop is. I told him that's odd. He said I was silly (I am the jealous type). Then one day she happened to mention she was thinking of leaving her boyf as he wanted kids now, he said we were trying and now she barely talks to him!
With the badminton he really is sports mad. He even plays table tennis with my mum once a week just so he gets a game.
I have absolute faith he is the person I believe him to be. This was my cock up however unlikely it sounds to me. I just want to reassure him that it's him I want

OP posts:
bbqsummer · 18/08/2013 00:38

Ex dp soon I think.

Original poster
fifi669 · 18/08/2013 00:41

He replied and told me not to worry about it, that we'd been fine all week when I didn't know what was said so it shouldn't make a difference now. Talking about it winds him up so we should drop it, he needs to get back to the lads and that he loves me.
He is staying here tonight, I hope!

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