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Original poster

sorry if this is tmi but would a man notice if a condom split

28 replies

mrspicklepants · 17/08/2013 21:34

Me and dp rely on condoms for protection due to other methods not agreeing with us....but I noticed afterwards last night things felt a bit wet down there seein as we'd used protection so anyway I looked in the bin today and there was the condom all wrapped up but broken?? This can't have happened afterwards can it? And surely dp would have noticed and should have said somethin?

OP posts:
CoffeeandScones · 17/08/2013 21:37

Not during but it's be obvious when taking it off after. Unlikely to have happened afterwards either.

youvegotmail · 17/08/2013 21:37

Looks like you've got an awkward conversation to have.

BoyMeetsWorld · 17/08/2013 21:37

I'm not convinced the man would notice during - once everything's erm 'wet' down there. But he prob would've noticed when he took it off - maybe too embarrassed to say anything?

TreborMint · 17/08/2013 21:57

A couple of my exDP have said that they have noticed during sex but I'm not convinced that most men would ie I think that you'd be more likely to notice it if it's previously happened and thus it's on your mind

Sorry - not sure that makes sense.

Anyway, I'd maybe consider the MAP/Gum clinic check up.

StephenFrySaidSo · 17/08/2013 22:07

I've had condom break 3 times and each time the man only noticed when taking if off.

go get the MAP asap and ask your dp if he knew. does he want children?

Vatta · 17/08/2013 22:21

Just asked my DH and he says he wouldn't necessarily notice if a condom split, even when taking it off.

I guess you have to figure out whether your dp noticed but didn't mention it - which for me would be a dealbreaker! I'd be tempted just to ask outright whether the condom split and watch his reaction

TreborMint · 17/08/2013 22:23

Speaking more generally, why would a man not tell a partner if he knew or realised after the event that the condom had split? I mean do people really do behave like that?

Original poster
mrspicklepants · 17/08/2013 22:24

Yes that's what I was thinking of doing when we get a quiet moment.... Just asking and seeing the reaction.!

OP posts:
MariaLuna · 17/08/2013 22:30

Sadly yes, Trebor, people do behave like that.

And a lot worse....

I guess OP if you definately don't want to get pregnant and rely on condoms, check them afterwards that they're not broken....

No contraceptive is 100% safe anyway.

(Friend's brother had a third child after a vasectomy....yes it was his).

Nagoo · 17/08/2013 22:44

IME he noticed when taking it off. I would have thought it was his business to check it when he was taking it off!

Too embarrassed? jeeeeezzz. Angry

NotYoMomma · 17/08/2013 22:47

at the end of the day you won't know unless you ask.

I dont think he would necesarily notice tbh, it depends.

Original poster
mrspicklepants · 18/08/2013 13:48

Well I asked and he said it was fine (he lied) can't believe how casually he lied aswel. By the way this is not a new relationship. Maybe I need to take better precautions??!....

OP posts:
StephenFrySaidSo · 18/08/2013 13:51

yes you definitely do now!! tbh I wouldn't be having sex with someone who could lie about that.

what did he say when you told him you knew he was lying? what was his reason?

Vatta · 18/08/2013 16:53

Wow, that's shocking.

Are you sure he actually lied? Maybe he just didn't realise?

If he's lying about that, then he's either trying to get you pregnant without your consent, or he doesn't care about the risk of pregnancy and just doesn't want the hassle of telling you the condom broke. Either would be a deal breaker for me.

BadLad · 18/08/2013 16:55

I don't think I'd notice.

SuperiorCat · 18/08/2013 16:58

Are you sure he lied? He could have grabbed a handful of loo roll and just bundled it all up as he took it off and not noticed?

MrsCakesPremonition · 18/08/2013 16:59

Do you need to see about getting MAP tomorrow?

Original poster
mrspicklepants · 18/08/2013 19:07

Yes I should really Mrs cakes! Well I didn't actually tell him I knew he was lying as I thought I was just supposed to ask if all was ok with johnny? Not admit to knowing otherwise.... Oh well I'll monitor situation and check it doesn't happen again0:)not end of world if become impregnated luckily!

OP posts:
StephenFrySaidSo · 18/08/2013 19:42

OP if you think he lied you need to deal with that. if becoming pregnant is ok with you then that's ok but him lying to you isn't. if you think he lied then talk to him about it and ask why he did.

Original poster
mrspicklepants · 18/08/2013 19:56

Yes but then I'd have to say I thought condom was broken so looked for it and it was.....so asked u and u said it wasn't which means u were lying hmm??? What can he say? I hate confronting people like that he'll just have to lie some more 'well I didn't know it was broken...etc.. I'll leave it but be aware in future

OP posts:
StephenFrySaidSo · 18/08/2013 20:04

umm- this is your sexual health and future we are talking about. so what if you have to let him know you checked up on it?

why are you afraid of confronting him? this worries me that you are so willing to accept his lying and brush this under the carpet. this is a massive breach of trust IMO- this guy could be lying to you about allsorts if he will so easily lie about something as massive as that!

do you trust him?

pmgkt · 18/08/2013 20:15

So you think he knows it split and is lying about it and people on here think he's awful. You knew it split and didn't say anything, but people don't say the same about you??? I'm not saying either is any better or worse than the other but mn always makes the guy out to be the evil one. My only other comment is, why don't couples talk anymore.

applepieinthesky · 18/08/2013 20:19

I don't understand why you don't say something to him if you know it split.

It has happened to me once before. I didn't notice anything but my ex did when he took it off and let me know.

TreborMint · 18/08/2013 20:19

So I'm slightly confused (although tell me to mind my own...) as I don't understand how you feel about the possibility of being pregnant/catching an STI?

Clearly you're not going to mention it to him - your choice - I won't go there but if you are thinking of taking the MAP, isn't it more effective the earlier you take it?

applepieinthesky · 18/08/2013 20:24

OP said she would be ok with pregnancy but didn't mention the risk of catching STIs or if he would be ok with pregnancy. Looks like he doesn't have much choice if he isn't aware it split and she isn't going to take the MAP. Selfish woman.