my boyfriend loves me - not so keen on my 3yr old

[KnightMare]

this is an issue that wasn't apparent in the early stages of our relationship, I suppose my bf was trying really hard in the beginning, but after 17 months he has made it clear that he couldn't consider us living together while ds2 is little because he would be miserable all the time. I'm sure it never used to be like this but now every time bf stays over ds2 begins to play up and do things to annoy him. bf says my ds1 is fine, ds1 is a similar age to his own ds and they spend all night on their computers. I just don't think my bf wants to go through raising a little boy again, I love my bf and we get on amazingly but this isn't fair on ds2 is it?

I'd really appreciate some words of wisdom from anyone that has been in a similar situation, or anyone with an opinion for that matter.

Good call op, you're doing the right thing.

OP I hope you really are going to prioritise the needs of your ds2 and get rid of the bf. I do wonder though whether you are just saying what everyone on this thread would expect you to say. Doing it is a whole different matter. Good luck and I hope you take the right RL action.

Say if his dislike becomes physical & he starts to hurt your child but you are too much in love to see the damage? I am sure that's how it started for Daniel Pelka, he eventually died at the hands of his mum and her partner. Your duty is to protect your child, he is your family so he must always be your priority. Men come and go but you get one chance in being a mother, don't mess it up for a random selfish bloke.

You are a family, your boyfriend cant pick and chose which family member he loves, which he tolerates and which ones he cant be arsed with.

There's nothing wrong with not liking kids, but obviously it wouldn't be fair on a kid to inflict a step-parent on them if that step-parent didn't like them. And that's what it would be - inflicting.

So get rid, and find someone who does like ds2.