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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Don't men make a fuss

32 replies

easy · 11/02/2004 14:22

I suppose this might be a health issue, but I've put it here.

Some of you will know that last year I had a hip replacement, followed by a broken thigh, over 12 hours of surgery within 6 weeks, 2 lots of bed rest, six months of wheelchairness (the first 4 wearing a big brace thing from waist to ankle). Oh, and quite a lot of pain.

On Saturday evening my dh stubbed his toe. He is still limping, complaining about the pain, being bad-tempered with me and ds, and making a right song (but no dance ) about it.

Now I understand that he did catch the protuding bit of wall pretty hard with his foot, and was just in his socks. It is pretty badly bruised, moving up the sole of his foot, but not particularly swollen so I don't think it's broken.
He has gone to work in sandals all this week so far, and when he was bringing dinner thru last night kept going "ugh, ugh" each time he put his foot down.

I have suggested he goes for Xray but he just says 'They don't do anything for broken toes anyway'

I'm trying not to shout at him "EITHER GET IT LOOKED AT OR SHUT UP"

is it just me.

OP posts:
Northerner · 11/02/2004 14:26

LOL easy! I know it's not funny but it's just the way you described your dh! And yes you are right, they do make such a fuss.

Kayleigh · 11/02/2004 14:26

I'm amazed you haven't shouted it yet. You must have the patience of a saint.
I'd have trodden on his other foot to even up the pain for him

CountessDracula · 11/02/2004 14:31

LOL you are so right!

I told DH that if we had another child he could have a vasectomy as I wasn't undergoing major abdominal surgery for a third time!

He has been whimpering like a baby ever since whenever anyone mentions vasectomies!

Angeliz · 11/02/2004 14:33

ROFL.....my dp is like that. He came in from the garden once holing his wrist and saying,"I've slashed my hand". I swear it didn't even need a plaster
Sorry i know it's not funny but your post really made me giggle! Bless+

Original poster
easy · 11/02/2004 14:35

Northerner

No, you have to laugh, otherwise I'd crown him.

He always blows up the seriousness of any bruise or scratch. When we were first married I was amazed at how he examined his body all over when drying himself after a bath. When I asked him why he said "well if you find unexplained bruises it can be a sign of leukeamia" !!!!
(no one in his family has ever had it as far as I know)

I never thought it, but I've married a complete hypochondriac

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 11/02/2004 14:37

god, yes they do. blimey, you'd like to make 'em do childbirth wouldn't you?

Marina · 11/02/2004 14:59

No, easy. They're all the same.
WWW, I wouldn't fancy mine's chances with period pain, frankly.

Browbeaten · 11/02/2004 15:12

My dh called down from the loft that he had cut his hand and needed a bandage - when I went up to the landing I found him lying on the bedroom floor and he managed to mumble that he felt "faint". Dear oh dear!

WideWebWitch · 11/02/2004 15:14

I just love the way my dp clutches his stomach and grimaces when it's aching very slightly. I do Zero Sympathy in this house. In fact, I think he'd get really worried if I was symathetic since it would mean I thought it serious! Yeah, so he likes it in a way (she kids herself!)

CountessDracula · 11/02/2004 15:14

LOL Browbeaten, that's hilarious!

Original poster
easy · 11/02/2004 15:15

BB
yep, that'd be us.

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 11/02/2004 15:15

I do actually say "EITHER GET IT LOOKED AT OR SHUT UP" too, easy. I don't shout it but I copied and pasted that from your post

Original poster
easy · 11/02/2004 15:16

Oh, and where do they learn that "I'm in such pain" grimace?
It must take so much effort (mind you, we'd never do it, it'd promote too many wrinkles)

OP posts:
Twinkie · 11/02/2004 15:25

Oooh honey after what you have been through I would have belted his other toe with a hammer - they are utterly rideculous aren't they!!

Mind you you could always offer him your wheelchair if you've still got it - maybe he would get the hint - actually why would he being a man and all!!

Kayleigh · 11/02/2004 15:57

In my experience they couldn't cope with a broken fingernail let alone a period pain.

fio2 · 11/02/2004 18:33

this thread is soooooooooooo true

Lisa78 · 11/02/2004 18:38

thank god for MN - I thought it was just my DH

every blessed thing, he gets such a look of utter agony on his face - and WHY does every injury affect his voice???

He once had the nerve to tell me I didn't know what real pain was.... went mad!!! "42 hours, 25 stitches - I'll give you real pain you !"£$%^&*("

MEN!

harman · 11/02/2004 19:00

Message withdrawn

twiglett · 11/02/2004 19:17

message withdrawn

Bron · 11/02/2004 19:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

emmatmg · 11/02/2004 20:09

Slightly different as my DH will soldier on with all sorts of ailments and hates going to the doc's for anything but this morning I saw something very different.

I was doing my bikini line with the wax strip thingys and jokingly asked if he's like me to do his back, it's not horrilbly hairy by any means just patches here and there, Anyway he said yes and well, he's face, his stance everything changed. He was petrified and it was only a small strip of about 1 inch by 3. Talk about bracing yourself for it, every muscle was tensed that could be tensed(well almost every one) it was hilarious.

Try it on your 'bits' then Matey!!

Twink · 11/02/2004 22:05

This thread is hilarious, only it's describing my lovely brother not dh !

Dh is completely stoic about everything bar back pain - but in his defense it used to take him 2 hours to drag himself out of bed & he'd have to have a bottle by the bed for emergencies.

BearintheBigBlueHous · 11/02/2004 22:25

Get over it girls. You have 12 or 13 x (your age) opportunities to develop and hone your pain threshold. Men don't. And (as you're never done telling us) we don't remember things either. Every stubbed toe, toothache, or strep throat is a new pain experience. And needs attention from a maternal female - in order to get said attention a bit of exaggeration may be required.

Take today, while DW and I were looking into a shop window a dog backed into my leg. I had DS in the Baby Bjorn and was understandably shocked, but it also hurt, and like as not will bruise. Before you laugh, this was a BIG dog, not unlike a small ox. But DW just laughed. The irony is while she may have coped better with the pain, it would have felled her - she wouldn't have been laughing then, would she? My point? Erm, don't know really....just tell your DH/DPs to keep an eye out for really big dogs.

SofiaAmes · 11/02/2004 22:52

It nothing to do with pain, it's just drama. My dh is "dying of cancer." Never mind that the gp has sent him for every test available on the nhs, two consultants and is sure that it's a muscle thing. He's sure that she just doesn't really understand where the pain is....

lou33 · 11/02/2004 22:54

My dh limps whenever he wants me to know he is ill, even if he just has a headache.