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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Partner Facebook Flirting

50 replies

Mamuss · 14/08/2013 20:29

I would love to whisk you off for a night and spend that time showing you pure affection, passion and love.

Written from partner to 'old friend'

His response 'she is depressed and he was trying to cheer her up, it was stupid and I'm sorry'

Gutted. Over-reacting?
He thinks I'm ignoring him. I'm not I just don't know what to say.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 14/08/2013 20:30

You are not over reacting

Has he form for being a sleaze around women, and a direspectful fuck to boot ?

Original poster
Mamuss · 14/08/2013 20:34

No not at all. He is oblivious to women flirting. When we were dating he never 'got' flirting. Hates female attention (works with his top off when working, someone mentioned women were watching and now he keeps it on and is embarrassed)

So very out of character.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 14/08/2013 20:36

So, has he agreed to knock it on the head ?

I would not be reassured that this was "out of character" tbh, it sounds like he is changing his usual behaviour for this woman. Why would he do that ?

bbqsummer · 14/08/2013 20:36

Yeah right. oily snake.

Original poster
Mamuss · 14/08/2013 20:40

He just said he was sorry, he did it to cheer her up and it was very stupid.

I've seen another message where some old trout was desperately trying to flirt, he didn't seem to realise and just replied things about work and his infected eye...nothing in his behalf.

He isn't very affectionate towards me. Says I'm needy. Which I don't think I am. Really hate being called needy. I'm very affectionate. The more in affectionate he is the more insecure I feel and the more 'needy' I become.

It hurts to think I'd give anything for him to speak to me like that. And he hasn't done. Not for years.

OP posts:
grobagsforever · 14/08/2013 20:41

Bizarre. What do their previous conversations looks like?

AnyFucker · 14/08/2013 20:42

That is the crux of it, isn't it ?

That he saves/has saved the best of himself for someone else.

ageofgrandillusion · 14/08/2013 20:42

I appreciate it is early doors in this thread and further - in all probability, unflattering - information may come out about this bloke. However, even at this early stage i'm happy to nail my colours firmly to the mast and say LTB.

Original poster
Mamuss · 14/08/2013 20:43

Innocent. Just chatting. She had a status about being gossiped about and he had written (in message) 'why don't you do something to be gossiped about' and then 'if you lived closer I'd come and help you'

Not really anything on her behalf. When he wrote the last message she just said 'aw thanks'

OP posts:
Original poster
Mamuss · 14/08/2013 20:44

Sorry what is ltb?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mamuss · 14/08/2013 20:45

And she lives miles away. Not like they could actually meet up.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 14/08/2013 20:46

eww, he sounds like a fuckwit

if some bloke messaged me like that on FB I would tell him to sort his act out

ageofgrandillusion · 14/08/2013 20:47

Sorry mamus, it is leave the bastard.

Original poster
Mamuss · 14/08/2013 20:49

Oh right Sad

OP posts:
bbqsummer · 14/08/2013 20:50

some old trout?? Hmm

Original poster
Mamuss · 14/08/2013 20:50

I think on here everyone is very quick to condem. Can't he have just made a mistake and regret it? Or am I being stupid and hopeful....

OP posts:
Original poster
Mamuss · 14/08/2013 20:52

Some old trout who has been around him and his friends messaging them, flirting. She is older but goes out on the piss all the time and has a husband - yes I'd say old trout.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 14/08/2013 20:53

What are you hoping for love, someone to tell you what he is doing is ok and you should stop being so needy ?

Er, didn't he tell you that ?

Listen to your stupid husband then. Good luck with that. And yes, I noted the "old trout" comment as well.

FluffedUpFerretOnSteroids · 14/08/2013 20:54

Just a tad hopeful there, you wouldn't be able to trust him again even if you could forgive

bbqsummer · 14/08/2013 20:54

Anyone?

bbqsummer · 14/08/2013 20:55

married old trout on the piss. Oh dear. It gets a little worse.

StrawberryMojito · 14/08/2013 20:55

He doesn't regret it, he regrets that he caught. He sounds like he is doing the flirting, not being flirted with.

Upnotdown · 14/08/2013 20:58

So he didn't flirt back with the 'old trout' because 'he's not like that' but did flirt with the young/good looking/damsel in distress (?) one? Sounds like he knows exactly what he's doing/what flirting is to me.

feelingvunerable · 14/08/2013 20:59

Take my advice.
A similar thing happened to me I found text messages on dh phone of a sexual nature.

I kicked him out.
He managed to persuade me there was nothing in it.
Begged to come back. I was the one he wanted he would do everything I wanted etc etc.
A few months on and he left.
Guess what? He is now seeing this ow.
He had never put a stop to it at all.

Original poster
Mamuss · 14/08/2013 21:01

Why are people getting funny about the 'old trout' comment?
I don't mean any offence but she is well known for being a nightmare with other people's partners.

Don't get nasty I'm not wanting anyone to say its ok. But it's different to him having slept with someone. Or left me for someone.

What do I do? We have a son. Just pack up and leave tomorrow?

Or talk to him.

But your right, I won't trust him again, not completely.

OP posts:
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