How do you get on with your ILs?

[HaveIGotPoosForYou]

How do you get along with your in laws/future in laws/partners parents?

I am just curious, sorry for the nosiness.

Myself, I get on okay with them ish, but had a fair few problems with them to be honest and although I know everyone says this, I really haven't done anything to them, DF can even vouch for that.

They have:
--Accused me of being a gold digger (well this was his Mum) I have no idea why as this was in the early days I had lent him more money than he had ever lent me, so makes no sense.
--Been angry with me and my DF and stopped talking to him because he hadn't told them that he was coming up to visit me (lived in his own flat at the time, so nothing like needing to let him in or anything).
--Swore at me when my DF bought up some washing to do (which I know sounds a bit cheeky but as had bad flu and was in bed most of the week he said his parents wouldn't mind doing some. But saying we aren't able to would've been fine, but his Dad started swearing at me. When I kindly told him to not talk to me like that and stop being threatening his response? 'You think this is threatening? Continue like that and I'll show you threatening'). They have also admitted to DF that they 'just don't like me'.

However, I do go and visit them sometimes and in general in day to day life we get on fine although I do feel uncomfortable with them sometimes. They seem a lot better now I have had my daughter, but not sure how they'll be when/if we stay overnight at theirs (I really don't want to, but can't put it off forever).

So just curious as to how everyone else gets on with their ILs?

Would love to hear some nice stories, but also some frank and honest ones.

They will be my inlaws when DF and I get married in 2 years. We've been together 5 years tomorrow. :)

*--Not trying to slander my DFs family as he obviously loves them dearly but these things have hurt me and caused some arguments in our relationship.

I get on fine with MIL. She drives me a bit batty most of the time (I posted on AIBU yesterday about how she wasn't currently talking to us because we were too busy to talk when she phoned), and she has some really weird ideas about random things. She's also a bit of a fusser and tends to talk to DH like he's still a teenager living at home (to the extent that she got miffed at him that he didn't think she should come and choose the family car with him instead of me). But I do a lot of biting my tongue because she (mostly) means well, and she adores her grandchildren.

I didn't know FIL particularly well, but I suspect after an initial bit of sparring we could have got on quite well. I initially got on very well with step-MIL, but that has deteriorated since FIL died and she has fallen out with DH so we don't see her anymore (which suit me fine, as I swear the last time we met she was flirting with DH which was really disconcerting)

BIL is a 16-year-old trapped in a 40 yo body. He still lives at home with MIL, doesn't work, is largely nocturnal and thinks there should be no government and that "things would just work out". That said, I've a lot of time for him in many ways as I find him a genuinely nice guy, just with a few problems and an unfortunate life history.

Mine are actually very nice but their intrusiveness has led to me disliking them.
Right from the start they visited us on holiday massively overstaying their welcome ending in me having to stretch food for three to feed them too.
We had dd with us but it was a log cabin with hot tub and it was pretty obviously a but of a romantic break but they sat there firmly until 11pm.
Same as our wedding which was just us and two witnesses because between us we have lots if friends and family so couldn't afford a wedding.
But they insisted on coming which then made people including my own children and parents feel left out.
A weekend visit can go on until 8pm Sunday despite having a three hr drive home and dh and I clearly wanting them to leave. They eat loads and never contribute and yet eat very little at home including when we visit I have to go shopping or the dds are hungry.
When dd2 was born they were asked not to stay the night I came home but desperately tried to engineer staying resulting in dh having to get assertive and mil having a tantrum all on what should have been a special night.
Most recently they absolutely insisted we go on a weekend away for fil 60th birthday. We couldn't really afford it and didn't want to go but mil counteracted all our protests so we went.
Bil and sil and partners were going too.
They booked us into the lowest grade pet friendly accommodation (dd is asthmatic) and themselves into massive luxury accommodation.
Final straw was not even coming to the holiday club to watch dd1 (their step gd) do her but in the talent show) they were having dinner!! A two minute walk grin the club!
Since then I've not seen them.
I told dh he's free to take dd2 to visit or ask them here (I will take dd2 to stay at my friends) but I will no longer out myself and dd in a position for them to disregard our feelings.
They pride themselves on being "big on family" but this applies to their family only and partners and step children must just fit in.

Difficult.

ILs don't like thier son, my DH. And I think he's kinda lovely. So waddya gonna do?