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Original poster

Do I text or not?

34 replies

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 12/08/2013 21:17

Been on 3 dates with a guy who I've known for a couple of years previously. He had to cancel our 4th date due to dying member of family. A close member but not a parent. He was keen to re-arrange for as soon as poss, hopefully this week. I said I could do ladt Sunday (convo on Friday) but I assumed he might still be busy with family affairs. He said he'd call Sat late eve to let me know how the family meeting went and to see if he was a available on Sunday.

I haven't heard from him since i'm guessing the family member has passed away. Do I text or not? Sth like 'how are things?' or 'you ok?'. Don't want to be intrusive and if he wanted, he would've got in contact...

Might see him this mid week at a work related activity but we don't work together as such.

OP posts:
MexicanHat · 12/08/2013 21:23

In the circumstances I don't see anything wrong with sending a text saying 'Hope all is ok' or something along those lines.

TrinityRhino · 12/08/2013 21:24

I would text "hope you are ok" and leave it at that for the time being

DontCallMeDaughter · 12/08/2013 21:26

Yes, I'd text. "Just checking how you're doing. Let me know if I can help with anything. x"

That's what I'd say...

Original poster
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 12/08/2013 21:28

I thought I'd be told to step away from the phone! Smile

OP posts:
HaroldLloyd · 12/08/2013 21:31

This seems totally acceptable to me, for once!

Just a message to say you hope he's ok, no harm there.

HaroldLloyd · 12/08/2013 21:31

This seems totally acceptable to me, for once!

Just a message to say you hope he's ok, no harm there.

Original poster
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 12/08/2013 21:35

I texted. Now I really need to step away from the phone to stop checking it every 5 seconds minutes.

OP posts:
MexicanHat · 12/08/2013 21:38

You need to step away from the phone but you know you won't Smile

Original poster
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 12/08/2013 21:42

Dickhead's replied Hmm. He's fine, he'd love to see me soon. When am I available? Confused

I thought he was mourning. Well, difficult to tell from his reply.

I know I get easily narked off but please...

OP posts:
Original poster
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 12/08/2013 21:48

Should I pettily point out that I thought he was not fine as he didn't call when he said he would hence I assumed the situation took a bad turn? Hmm

OP posts:
MexicanHat · 12/08/2013 21:50

Well he replied quick enough. Maybe the relative didn't die? Does he usually get in touch when he says he will? I guess you're wondering if you hadn't had texted would he have bothered to get in touch?

Original poster
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 12/08/2013 21:55

Well, he's been very keen uptil now and sounded genuinely disappointed re Sat cancellation. I would've thought he text (sorry, grammar might be letting me down here). He's called before and emailed and texted, def I would not think he wanted to cool things down. But he said he'd call and he didn't so I don't know. I'm a petty fucker so will enquire in a way (hopefully) that will not look as if I'm peed off. Which I'm not oh no.

OP posts:
Original poster
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 12/08/2013 21:56

Sorry, I lost half a sentence there!

I would've though he'd text if all were OK and he was free to meet this week.

OP posts:
kittymchotpress · 12/08/2013 22:02

I had this kind of thing going on for a couple of months...although I wasn't always the only one to instigate the texts, but definitely more often (and did all the obsessive phone checking Angry ) eventuality found out that I shouldn't have bothered Wink . still wonder if it would have fizzled out much sooner if I'd just left it. stings a bit knowing I was chasing too much...

have resolved to STEP AWAY FROM THE PHONE next time. if they want to get in touch they will. hope it works out for you though...and me, at some future point Grin .

Original poster
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 12/08/2013 22:08

They're soooo stooppid, aren't they.

OP posts:
Original poster
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 12/08/2013 22:12

I was good until now. All contact initiated by him. I will give him a benefit of doubt this time but I am annoyed. If you say you are going to do something, then fucking do it.

OP posts:
kittymchotpress · 12/08/2013 22:18

yeah...and annoying. I had the 'still keen, will let you know which night I'm free as soon as' to 'can't make it now' in the space of 24 hours followed by, well, nada...for ever. grrr. yikes hope he's not a mumsnetter Angry . just wish they could show a little more decorum when they decide to opt out. Would only be polite...

TeamSouthfields · 12/08/2013 22:26

Wow!! Ur abit intense!!!!!

kittymchotpress · 12/08/2013 22:29

do you think? hmm hadn't thought about it that way...if I'm going to end something I prefer to let the other person know and not just leave them hanging...doesn't seem that intense.

Kiwiinkits · 12/08/2013 22:30

You sound way too intense. You're pissed off?! Wtf? Over-reaction!

Hormonalhell · 12/08/2013 22:37

In my opinion men always back off whether they like u or not!Hmm

notanyanymore · 12/08/2013 22:38

You are jumping to conclusions abit, he might be 'fine' now but have had a shit weekend but doesn't want to go into it over text.

Daddoinghisbest · 12/08/2013 22:39

I'm feeling a bit sorry for him. He has a dying family member. He said he'd call but didn't. OP thinks it's maybe because the person died and he's caught up in the fallout. OP rightly texts - and good news - no death. But calls him a dickhead! Presumably because it turns out he has no excuse for not calling? That's a bit harsh. Sure, it's rude to not call when he said he would. But he may well have other things on his mind (dying relative). OP has known him for a couple of years and so must know if he's a goodun or not? He's been keen so far with no reason to doubt him up until this one missed call. I say ease up and go with the flow. You'll scare the poor sod off.

Lackedpunchesforever · 12/08/2013 22:45

Wow.

Erm.

I would kind of recommend that you calm down ?

Original poster
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 12/08/2013 23:02

Oh god, the high horse riders have come out. Confused Yes, I'm calmish Grin. He bangs in about how he wants to see me and then nada. My problem is I can't arrange a babysitter at a drop of a hat. So if I didn't hear from him till today, then most probably I can't go out this week in the evening at all. So him saying I'm good, when can I see you, I'd love to, etc., is a bit silly if he knows I need to make arrangements well in advance.

Yes, he seems like a goodun Smile but because he was so interested before, it was idd he didn't get in contact for this amount of time when he said he would.

OP posts: