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Relationships

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Original poster

are you still friends with your NCT group or did it just fissle out?

67 replies

cleoowen · 06/08/2013 19:35

Feeling little sad as after only 8 months (since my ds was born and he was the last one) our group seems,to have fissled out. It seems very early for it to have happened as I think most people atleast last a year. But I told myself not to bank on making best friends with these people and so aren't devastated or anything but I must admit I thought the meeting up might have gone on a bit longer.

I think the mistake we,made was never arranging one day a week where we all meet. It wasn't done at the beginning, then it was mentioned lots of times but never happened as people started groups or lives away and it became apparent that finding one day that we could all do was going to be tricky. I think no one wanted to step on anyones toes by suggesting a day knowing a certain person couldn't do it, atleast that's why I didn't organise it.

The one I got on best with, saw regularly and made an effort with me is moving to America for a year and I feel since finding out she no longer makes an effort. Was meant to see her today but she canceled and it just made,me think, that's probably it then. Shame.

OP posts:

HaroldLloyd · 07/08/2013 20:07

Have you posted on the postnatal groups here? Mine is great.

CityGal29 · 09/08/2013 17:00

Oh nothing in particular about ff just meant one of the big baby things didn't have similar and many were hardcore Gina ford etc so didn't have much in common to talk about

storynanny · 09/08/2013 18:10

Well, I joined local NCT group 31 years ago when I had my first child. We had such fun, coffee mornings galore and even now I'm still good friends with a couple of members I met then. We take our grandchildren for a walk to the park nowadays and chat about the old days! However I do remember the awkwardness of being the only bottle feeder amongst the group.

Frikadellen · 09/08/2013 20:10

16 years on I have facebook contact with 3 of them last saw 1 of them 6 years ago (who weirdly I do not have on facebook)

Oddly dd1's best friend from primary school is now best friends with one of the NCT girls so we see pictues of her alot :)

MrsMelons · 09/08/2013 21:02

I really think it is luck of the draw. Almost 8 years on 8 of our group (first time mums group) are still in regular contact.

Most of these I believe will be life long friends, one is probably one of my best friends now, although one in particular seems to have upset most of us in 0one way or another so don't see her as regularly I think now the children are not babies we have nothing in common with her and she is a bit poisonous! 1 of our group still sees her NCT friends also.

I don't actually know anyone else who has this relationship with NCT/First time mums groups though so definitely not just you.

Doozle06 · 09/08/2013 21:54

Mine fizzled out when we went back to work. So 6-9 months in, for our group.

Polyethyl · 09/08/2013 22:01

My mother is still friends with her anti-natal class chum after 41 years.

Eastpoint · 09/08/2013 22:09

Still friends with some of mine 15 years on, we've all moved but stayed in touch via Facebook. I chat with one pretty much every week, the others at least monthly. Saw one of the hosts for my baby shower 10 days ago. I think it depends on the area.

Fabsmum · 09/08/2013 22:19

I'm an NCT teacher, and I'm always on tenterhooks the first session of a course watching all the parents start to talk to each other, wondering if they'll get on and if the group will bond. Some groups just work, and other groups don't. Occasionally you can see it's not going to work - weird mixes of personalities and agendas, and I always feel bad about this. People need to be generous and open hearted to make it work. The groups with a good sprinkling of mums like this are the best

You know what I find hard? That every few courses they'll be someone who I get on really well with, but we're not supposed to befriend people really, other than in a professional capacity. Bugger that though. I had one of my mums round for coffee this week for a catch up and so I could get a cuddle of her beautiful baby. If they live very local to me I know I'm going to be bumping into them at the supermarket anyway. hopefully not when I'm walking around with a trolley full of junk food, and screaming at my children so I figure head office won't tell me off for being neighbourly. We have some lovely, lovely people doing NCT - it's hard for me to say goodbye sometimes at the end of the course.

CatsAndTheirPizza · 09/08/2013 23:39

Ours lasted 10 years and fizzled out about 2 years ago. Pretty much everyone moved for jobs over time. It was fun while it lasted. DS1 is at senior school in a group with someone he met when he was 6 weeks old - it's very strange !

ExtremeCouponQueen · 10/08/2013 06:10

After 2 years I keep in touch and see 2/7 of the group. The rest I made a conscious effotf to distance myself from - in te nicest possible way they weren't my cup of tea.

I'm in the email loop for the group, but only make the effort to see the 2 I like.

lolalotta · 10/08/2013 06:52

I never joined NCT, but bumped into a group of lovely ladies at my local Sure Start centre. We still meet as a group about once a fortnight, sometimes once a week...two of the ladies I sometimes see two or three times a week and I am sure we will be life long friends. I am a SAHM (makes it much easier to be flexible with meet ups) with a 3 year old DD and about to pop with no.2.

SunnyIntervals · 10/08/2013 09:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

purplewithred · 10/08/2013 09:29

One best friend still from my first NCT group 23 years on, but that's all.

Original poster

cleoowen · 10/08/2013 14:28

Yeah think I ll end up keeping in touch with one or possibly two of them. In fairness,they are coming around next Friday and I ve moved away a little,but still in same town. Just feel it's a shame not turned into regular meet UPS.
Sounds like luck of the draw,really.

You do sound like a nice Nct teacher. Ours was quite aloof.

OP posts:

Llareggub · 10/08/2013 14:30

Ours lasted although I don't meet them anymore because I moved 150 miles away. We still chat on FB though.

Fabsmum · 10/08/2013 20:36

Thanks!

O/T - years of lurking on this board have been an education to me. Your typical client at NCT often presents as a perfect couple. In my early life as a teacher I was very much inclined to believe that it was rosy in everyone's relationship garden. Not so now - I'm much more alert to signs of EA and other sorts of abuse, and always try in a course to touch on issues surrounding how finances are managed and equality and respect in issues relating to domestic responsibilities in particular. I think this board should be obligatory reading for doctors, health visitors and anyone who comes into regular contact with families in a professional capacity....

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