Private investigator

[lostinspaceparttwo]

Hi Guys,
very reg reader here but not so much a frequent poster,I never feel confident enough to give my opinion...that's another area i need to work on for the future.

I am quite sure I am going to look into hiring a Private investigator to check out my D'Hs online activity,I believe he has secret email accounts and is signed up to dating forums,

Most of you wont agree with me doing this but for the others of you if you have used this type of service before I would be grateful if you could tell me a bit about it and how much it cost you?

thanks in advance

I'm not sure a PI is the best thing for you.

Have you tried going onto the dating sites to see whether you can find him?

Do you suspect your husband of having an affair?

I have tried setting a profile under a false account and its very hard to make out if some of them are him (not face pictures if you get what i mean)...it is all very humiliating.

reasons I suspect him are these sites showed up on the history quite often but I never though much of them before (doh) how trusting was I...
When I did become aware of them,he said he clicked into them by mistake,I believed him for a while until my brain engaged and realised that you have to have an email account to set these up otherwise you don't get past the home page and he had done...I have checked his email that I know of and nothing here.

I now know he is loging in to the laptop in ingogmetio mode so I see no history.

Also on his twitter there are masses of protected conversations with ladies...

my radar bells are ringing,but I have gone as far as I can on my own,hense the need for a PI or similar

yes we have DC (3 sons 4,6,& 9) he swore of their life that he never signed up to any of these sites,igcognetio means no history shows when you are in this mode.

Yes I do need it spelled out to me, I know I prob sound pathetic but I really dont want to give up what we have if I am wrong.On the other hand if I am right I will split up from him in a heartbeat,as I dont believe the little woman at home has to except this type of crap behaviour.

yes you have it right,sorry it took me so long to explain clearly.
He gives no reason for hiding the history as he leaves some there,but others are gone (gap in time I am 100% sure that this is what he is doing). I have not confronted him with this as if he lied so easy the last time see above swore on his sons life,that even if I confronted him again I would get more lies.
He would just make me out to be crazy wife,sorry If this is how I am coming across,but I know in my heart this is what is happening I want actual proof now.

Does he do this on the laptop or on his phone?

I have used one for very different reasons. The father of one of the children in my care was claiming to be destitute, failing to pay for his son and claiming legal aid. The PI was reputable, only undertook work on a limited basis when he was in the immediate area thus saving costs.

In our case, he discovered he was not only working, but owned a house which he purchased using another firm of solicitors to those acting in the family matter for which he was claiming legal aid. A Short report was provided for legal aid, he lost this and his CSA payments were backdated.

To use a PI, you need to know what outcome you want. Ours was very specific. We already knew, but needed independent proof. I dont think you need a PI to find out what you need to know and I urge caution here.

From experience I would urge you to listen to your instincts, however painful. I do understand the need for concrete evidence though and if using a pi is the only way to get it, then I would do that too, just be very prepared for the fall out.

Viking, the OP's husband is using InPrivate Browsing.

the only way I will get proof now is to use a PI,this is why I am trying to find out here if anyone has any experience they could share with me,I do not work so have very limited access to funds but I will so how find it if I can arrange it.

sorry to answer another question above that I missed,yes he has a phone but not a smart phone and nothing on it unusual.We only have access to home laptop (we both share) no access in work I am sure of that.

I would go down the keylogger route if he's on a laptop that both of you share. It records every keystroke made, so passwords, usernames, everything is recorded. Be very aware that whatever you type will then be recorded, too, so you'll have to restrict what you do online.

Do you want me to research the best ones?

imperial I would be so greatful if you can help me with that. I have read a bit about them but I am so scared to do that as I,actually know nothing about computers at all and I dont want to start loading something I cant control and to be honest I dont understant how I check them....ahhh I make myself mad now for being so out of touch.
BTW they would be no problem with anything I do on the computer being recorded as all I ever do is Mumsnet (I love it)

I would have done anything for this sort of thing when I was married, but actually I knew that the marriage was dead and I just wanted proof.

Wouldn't it be better to trust your own judgement, OP, and accept it's over? If you've got to the point where you're going to spy on him then it's dead, isn't it?

SchmaltzingMatilda might be a better help, OP, if she knows the name of that software.

You will have to pay for them, too. Can you explain that bill away?

I hear ye guys trust gone spying and so on ,but my parents and his parents love him,the sun shines from his behind with these guys.
if I leave now he will convince all of them I am crazy lady,I need proof to protect my name and my children.

But OP, this sort of thread would give the game away if your posts were recorded!

If you think you wouldn't be able to cope with the technological aspect of it, then maybe a PI would help. You would probably have to take the laptop there for a few hours.

SchmaltzingMatilda any prompts or hints on the spyware you can share?

Imperial shamefull I know I would have to take the money I save for my eye operation (cosmetic so not necessary) so it wont be missed .

Is he in the room with you when he's online?