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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dp's venom directed at my kids

38 replies

IvoryTickles · 05/08/2013 19:52

Don't ask why I'm still here as its a very new development. I have two kids, both boys aged 12 and 14. My eldest is well behaved and mostly well mannered, holds down a paper round, good grades at school, never in any bother. Couldn't ask for much more really. My youngest is highly strung with behavioural problems and ADHD. A handful by my own admission.

Dp also has two boys. A 17 year old well mannered, polite and quiet 17 year old and an autistic but lovely 16 year old. No kids are without faults however and his eldest can be stroppy, self centred and ignorent and the youngest, because of his disability requires a lot of looking after when he's here. Not that I mind.

Anyway dp was always worried that my youngest would scare his sensible , sensitive little souls to death and make them not want to visit. This didn't happen, in fact dss2 and his youngest became best buddies overnight. Despite the age different, they get on great. So I assume everything is going well - until of course, 4 weeks in and dp announces that my ds loves to rub it in that he has their dad full time and he has upset dss2. I ask how. He replied "he asked me to play Xbox with him in front of dss". Ridiculous! I can guarantee ds did not do that maliciously he just enjoys playing with dp! Hardly crime of the century.
This weekend he took his two and my ds to cinema. He came back saying dss had spoilt it for everyone. I thought "oh god, what has he done??" Turns out he'd just been getting involved in conversation and pushing his voice across a bit. He does this ALL the time. The lad has special needs - he doesn't think "hmm this will make them not want to come anymore!" He then goes on to say "but doesnt he understand?? they're MY boys!!" I told dp he was being ridiculous and making something out of nothing. Since then he has called ds2 a "tosser" for being cheeky to me (and slagged him off to dss2) and my ds1 a "dickhead" for accidentally shutting a door too hard despite knowing that he's dyspraxic.

I couldn't even picture the nuclear fallout if I called one of his lads a tosser or dickhead. Wtf is his problem all of a sudden? Other times he's great with them. Makes them milkshakes, helps with homework, Thales them out etc but every now and again the horrible venom seeps through. I feel like punching him.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 05/08/2013 19:54

Why the fuck are you still speaking to this cock excuse for a person? Get rid!

CreatureRetorts · 05/08/2013 19:54

You need to speak to him about this. Discuss the specific examples and ask him what's going on.
But can you really expose your children to this?

IvoryTickles · 05/08/2013 19:56

I think he feels guilty living with two other kids so is going out of his way on a weekend to hate mine whilst his are here - to somehow lessen the guilt

OP posts:
YoniRanger · 05/08/2013 19:57

Erm I think you know what needs to be done here.

KittyVonCatsworth · 05/08/2013 19:59

Fuck. He called your kids tossed and dickhead. The door wouldn't even get a chance to touch him at the rate I'd kick him through it. He sounds an insensitive bully and you and he boys deserve better, IMO, milkshakes or no milkshakes x

AnyFucker · 05/08/2013 20:01

Get rid of him. Who does this man think he is ?

JakeBullet · 05/08/2013 20:04

Dump him asap...no way would I accept that.

georgedawes · 05/08/2013 20:05

Get rid

Squitten · 05/08/2013 20:05

So he's using your kids as his own personal emotional punchbag?

I'm surprised that you even need to ask

LadyintheRadiator · 05/08/2013 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImperialBlether · 05/08/2013 20:11

When you read your own post, OP, is it as clear to you what you have to do as it is to us?

expatinscotland · 05/08/2013 20:12

Who gives a flying fuck what his motives are? Why are you subjecting your kids to this? Get rid!

Ezio · 05/08/2013 20:15

Any man who called my DD who has ASD a tosser and a dick head, wouldnt get kicked out of the door, i'd launch his arse out.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 05/08/2013 20:16

So what do you intend to do to fulfil your duty to protect your children from being some blokes verbal punchbag?
It doesn't matter why he's doing it. It only matters THAT he's doing it.
Do you intend to let him? That's the question.

mcmooncup · 05/08/2013 20:23

Ewwwwww how vile.

Lackedpunchesforever · 05/08/2013 20:24

You show him the door. And shut it behind him.

elliebellys · 05/08/2013 20:26

Have you namechanged again op.?.

expatinscotland · 05/08/2013 20:27

How sad that some people put a relationship or boyfriend/girlfriend ahead of their kids.

MaryBateman · 05/08/2013 20:35

Put your kids first OP always. A DP's anger is for now and is soon forgotten once they are dispatched. Your DC's anger and resentment at your inaction to deal with it may last a lifetime. And for added realism imagine trying to explain the situation to a Social Worker after your DC have told their teacher how much they hate having your DP around shouting and ranting at them.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 05/08/2013 20:36

Stand up for your children for heavens sake!

He's abusing them., you are their defender, so defend them and give him his marching orders.

CinnabarRed · 05/08/2013 20:42

And how many more times are you going to post about this pathetic man-child? Under a different name change each time, of course....

purrpurr · 05/08/2013 20:46

Get rid.

LemonPeculiarJones · 05/08/2013 20:53

Dump this disgusting fool.

Reality · 05/08/2013 20:54

Why are you posting under different names at the same time, Mankybandaid aka Ivorytickles??

And why the fuck do you keep doing this?

CookieDoughKid · 05/08/2013 21:12

Your dp has anger management issues. Not a great role mmodel IMO.

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