does it matter

[whyisitcomplicated]

i have posted about my DP before as he doesnt want children and i do.Well we are still together.He and his ex P had a terrible spilt and she has been very difficult to deal with.
He is adamant they will never get back together (they were toghether 25 years) and i have never been worried about this.

I have now found out that they are getting on better,they have had tea togehter.he buys her flowers and chocolates.To cap it all this week he informed me he had paid for her and son's holiday as she is having finacial difficuties and i saw a message on his phone where he wished her happy anniversary with a x last week. Should i be worried

And how, in the NY, are you going to have a great time when you feel very resentful towards him?

Imagine how resentful you are going to feel when you reach your forties, unmarried and childless?

Why do you keep allowing yourself to be short-changed all the time?

You need to wake up and wise up fast because you are wasting the best years of your life on this selfish man and he'll quite happily let you carry on doing so.

Just read this thread. I think you are wasting your life with this man. That is all really.

Oh dear - things to have got worse and not better.
Not sure of your living situation but you need to consider what will happen when you break up.
This man is NOT the man for you.
I think you could do with some counselling to understand why you are happy with the crumbs this man is throwing you rather than being in a loving relationship where you both want the same things in life and you are with someone who wants to commit to you and marry you.
You know you deserve better - you deserve to fulfil your dreams.
This man is just stifling your dreams.
Let him go and watch him go running home to wifie!

OP

You have had spot on advice here. Listen to it. This relationship is going nowhere. If you don't get out now you may well end up alone and without the chance of having children naturally. Run for the hills!

The advice hasn't changed really. All the time he prioritises his family and picks you up/puts you down at his convenience you'll always feel resentful. Either you mean enough to him to acknowledge you publicly or you don't.

OP you are clearly wasting your time with this man, end it now & start afresh in the new year.

His Exp does know i exsist , that is why they broke up. She also knows and hates that we live together in germany.It is me he comes home to every night and wakes with every morning.we are very much in love but even though his yougest DS is 20 there is still no chance of me meeting him or being involved in any aspect of his live which my friends think is sttrange, i cant see why i cannot send him a xmas present

Why OP just why?

You never take our advice, why do keep asking for it?

Remind me again, who is he spending christmas with?
You're not bottom of the list, you're not even on it are you?
I hope you are not all alone?
As painful as it is, you need to start listening to other people (lots of us have been there), but more importantly you need to start to trust your own instincts because they ARE right.
I really do feel for you though and hope you have a good christmas despite all of this upset x