Help... definitions of infidelity please...

[bigbadbraindump]

Short and sweet. About to marry DH (in a few days) found texts on his phone when we were first dating about him having sex in a toilet of a club with a woman he'd met. We had slept together at this point but had not had the exclusivity chat.

He promised me sincerely when we got engaged that during that period of dating he had not been involved with anyone else.

Is this something you would let go?

It kind of reminds me of a guy I had a fling with. I assumed he was single (never asked and he never told) then I wasn't single, a year later I was single again so booty called him basically. Two years later (this summer) I found his number and sent him a flirty text. He responded in kind but then admitted he was getting married next month so I cut that dead. Had a Facebook snoop as you do, and discovered he was with said fiancée when we got together two years back. Basically he's a guy with a lot of numbers in his black book. Your guy sounds similar. Similar age and circumstances, shagging/sexting three women in the week you weren't talking? Fast work, or a guy who is used to having women on tap to while away a quiet evening. I don't think men like that are very trustworthy to be honest, they are too used to having their own way with women and quite set in their ways by the mid 40s. I'm not saying he has cheated since, or that he plans to. But it's a bit uncomfortable, especially the lying and minimising after you found out.

Looking from the outside, I would honestly advise that you call the wedding off. It is really far less traumatic than divorcing, which I have to say sounds likely. At the very least, please postpone it- there are far too many red flags about his character here to ignore.

Is the wedding today? OP said on Wednesday "in a few days."